But these girls are already damaged. The marriage was doomed from the start no matter how the guy treated them. Wallahi a lot of somali girls live sad lives stuck in family home looking for freedom. And once they get married at 20-21 they have far less experience with guys and life in general. Even after divorce a lot of these girls need some healing and maybe therapy imo. They run around few years and marry again without having learned from the past. I had one say to me this summer I will marry within this year. If not you then someone else. I was like you dont even have someone else except me...fvck you talking about. She said there are plenty guys out there ready. And yes she lived at home lool
A Question About Divorce!!!!
- Thread starter AussieHustler
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VixR
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I also think girls and guys get pressured into getting married to the extent it doesn’t seem like so bad a thing to just get it over with come hell or high water, and getting out of the house is seen as a perk. I’ve even seen Somali boys being forced to marry. They just hook em up on the fly. “Prospects” are thrown at you like meat on sale.
And I think Somalis also don’t know how to fight in a relationship. There’s a productive way to argue. But what’s the point if there was no value to it to begin with.
We are proud people with huge egos lol. Comprimise is seen as weakness. I just had a family member at 22 get married to girl same age. Both have no money and live at home. So their parents paid for the wedding and a flat they can live in. Everything was handed to them in fear of them sinning. But how do youbknow the value of marriage when you put so little effort and time in making it?
VixR
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That’s what my parents wanted. They at least made an effort with the education
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Daaamn girl you went through some sh1t wallahi. Sorry to hear that. But Im sure it made you stronger as well. Do you still live same city aa family or you live different area?
VixR
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Nah I’m fine.
It does happen especially if the chick is young and got no life experience she will take any guy just to Move out of her parents house just messed up they see no wrong with taking advantage of a person
This why it’s best to go for a girl that genuinely cares about you even if you struggling with finances work etc she will be there to support you a lot of Somalis focus on the physical not that it’s bad but they should focus more on character and personality
Many Somalis got this mindset that marriage is gonna fix all your problems and change the person I hear it all the time it’s gonna make you more responsible,caring ,unselfish ,kind it’s bullshit lol you can be all those things before marriage
Imo a guy should pay for his wedding fees if he can’t than just save up until you got enough
I think it’s unwise to pay for the wedding I mean if you get everything handed to you you’re not gonna cherish it the same as when you worked hard for it
VixR
Veritas
My parents were the type who believed to get the kids matched and hitched, their education relative to the general community and being here so long didn’t change those attitudes. They tried it with all of us. It just didn’t pan out. They might be more strict in some ways compared to the typical Somali parent (though lax in others). I noticed not every parent is like this, even though I agree with you on the marriage fixing problems attitude that’s common.
Those that were raised in single households are the quickest to opt for divorce as opposed to those that are not.
The single household raised women is used to a single household and in most cases already harbours disdain for her father and thus by extension other man due to brainwashing by the mother.
Even in cases of no brainwashing the environment these women were raised in is not conducive to nurturing patience, tolerance or compromise.
Even research backs this, the offspring's of these households have the highest divorce rates and are statistically academically and financially worse off which is no surprise.
The males are more likely to end up in prison while the women tend to end up in dom/depression because of these 'freedoms' that others don't have.
I have met many women like these over the years and they are a deadly cocktail of toxicity beyond any reprieve, to the point were I began to rule all of them out by default.
The single household raised women is used to a single household and in most cases already harbours disdain for her father and thus by extension other man due to brainwashing by the mother.
Even in cases of no brainwashing the environment these women were raised in is not conducive to nurturing patience, tolerance or compromise.
Even research backs this, the offspring's of these households have the highest divorce rates and are statistically academically and financially worse off which is no surprise.
The males are more likely to end up in prison while the women tend to end up in dom/depression because of these 'freedoms' that others don't have.
I have met many women like these over the years and they are a deadly cocktail of toxicity beyond any reprieve, to the point were I began to rule all of them out by default.
I agree. But I also dont think a guy should pay for thecwhole wedding. I think theccouple should pay together. Having said that I hate wedding and think they are waste of money. Give me a sheikh and blessings andvim good to go
It's easier to give up, that's the mindset of many people. If we dont fight for what we want then of course walking out and just being done with a situation is simple but if you want a marriage to work and not end up in divorce sometimes you have to put in effort and make some changes. Whatever the reason for divorce that might come up people have to remember the reason they fell in love in the first place and let that be the factor to keep them pushing everyday to make it work. Families feeding isnt good but many times the spouse complains the then in laws or even to their own parents and once you do that you open the door for the families to get more involved then what they should. I knew a somali girl who called her husbands mom every week complaining about him. I couldn't believe it. When I asked her why she said either he will listen to his mom or I will divorce him. How ridiculous! Why not call his mom when he was doing right by her, why only call when she feels like we was stepping out of line.
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