«Somali men are not romantical»

[AbrahamFreedom]

Being romantic and affectionate are normal human behaviours. Anyone who isn't romantic or affectionate is not someone you should be with anyway. Leave them for likeminded people. That is someone with deep family trauma. Why would any properly adjusted person want a spouse who isn't romantic or isn't affectionate to them or their future kids?

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Being romantic and affectionate are normal human behaviours. Anyone who isn't romantic or affectionate is not someone you should be with anyway. Leave them for likeminded people. That is someone with deep family trauma. Why would any properly adjusted person want a spouse who isn't romantic or isn't affectionate to them or their future kids?

Affection I get, but romance is basically a bunch of fake gestures

 

[Angelina]

Ignore her she's confused.

The topic of discussion was about buying valentines day "gifts" for your girlfriend and she flipped it to Muslim men on the deen buying gifts for their wives??!??)????

Why give me a thumbs down then when I clearly said I don’t believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day? You clearly have an issue with men gifting women in general. So Puntinite Queen definitely had a point.

 

[Kane]

Women pick men they are attracted to and also exhibit signs of protection and provision. No woman in her right man trusts a man who shows up empty handed to meet her, especially if it is at the stage of serious courting (with mahrems involved). It is called bad manners.


But, feel free to lead these men off a lonely cliff.

women only choose men rationally when they have to settle, other wise they Choose men based on their emotions.

You created an entire scenario from thin air, no body spoke of courting or marriage. Until you brought it up, the guy was talking about his girl.

but thanks for sharing your imagination and your theories.

Do you have issues with men buying women gifts in general or Valentine’s Day?

It’s normal for a man to buy a women before marriage a gift. Even in halal courtship. As in going to her house with the family there, it’s ceeb for him to not get her gifts.

Do you have issues with husbands gifting wives?

Btw, I don’t approve of Valentine’s Day. Such a shaytAn holiday.

I’m against the idea, that genuine desire can be negotiated or bought at any price.

And a man buying some strange women gifts to win her approval. A woman will choose a life of poverty, if that’s what it take to be with the man she wants.

Love only becomes a business with terms and prices, when she has zero attraction for the man she is with.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

women only choose men rationally when they have to settle, other wise they Choose men based on their emotions.

You created an entire scenario from thin air, no body spoke of courting or marriage. Until you brought it up, the guy was talking about his girl.

but thanks for sharing your imagination and your theories.



I’m against the idea, that genuine desire can be negotiated or bought at any price.

And a man buying some strange women gifts to win her approval. A woman will choose a life of poverty, if that’s what it take to be with the man she wants.

Love only becomes a business with terms and prices, when she has zero attraction for the man she is with.

You sound like the type of person to show up to a dinner party empty-handed and then also ask for tupperware full of food when you are leaving.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Affection I get, but romance is basically a bunch of fake gestures

It's about having a personality and being vulnerable to your partner. That's not a fake gesture but a genuine gesture.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

What men should never do is open up about their feelings to them though. That is a recipe for disaster.

 

[El Nino]

Original post :
Got my girl a valentines gift, and she was so surprised. «You are changing my view on somali men» … followed by: «im suprised, I didn’t know you had this in you»

Sigh. This is getting old, as all of my friends and extended circle buy gifts or treat woman better than any other ethnic group. Thats typical of somali men. I guess guys in here can co-sign this. But somehow WE are the ones deemed «not romantical»

I know friends who take trips by plane just to meet some of these gabdho. And put in serious time and effort. Maybe more than they should in some cases.

Currently somali men are facing an unnecessary uphill battle, while many other misogonyst guys from other ethnic groups gets a free ride.



^are these the «romantical» ajnabis the girls be talking about? Really?

we somali guys need to stay on code and demand respect where respect is due, specially when we do out part, and even more so when we out do our selves. And call out the bullshit!! Iknow for a fact theres so many good guys out there, it is about time we get rid of this nonsense. Iknow ajnabis out here who verbally abuse and BEAT gabdho in public! But somehow in any discussion, they crowbarrow somalis in to it. Tired of this nonsense

Our women have been influenced too much by filin hindi, romcoms and nowadays from kdramas. Gabdho confuse somali mens calm and collected nature with being out of any emotion. We turn to poets ehen we are in love, showcased by how 90% of somali music is just love songs to women.

Instead of filin hindi and k-dramas, gabdho need to watch the documentary known as Shrek to get a better picture of what likely awaits princesses. Its not a knight who will rescue her and serenade her with the finest of loce poems. Nah, its the big muscly Ogre who gets the job and has no time for bullshit. Stay grounded sisters

 

[Waa dhamatay]

It's about having a personality and being vulnerable to your partner. That's not a fake gesture but a genuine gesture.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

What men should never do is open up about their feelings to them though. That is a recipe for disaster.

Can you give an example of your idea of romance?

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Can you give an example of your idea of romance?

Candle light dinner at home, bringing flowers, rubbing feet while watching TV, going to a fancy restaurant every quarter, buying a gift to celebrate their major accomplishment, reading a novel with them while cuddling, etc.

 

[Kane]

You sound like the type of person to show up to a dinner party empty-handed and then also ask for tupperware full of food when you are leaving.

Please tell me your not laughing at your own imaginary jokes, cause that would be sad.

 

[Kalsoon]

It's about having a personality and being vulnerable to your partner. That's not a fake gesture but a genuine gesture.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

What men should never do is open up about their feelings to them though. That is a recipe for disaster.

It’s only a recipe for disaster if you open up to someone who will use your vulnerabilities to attack you when they’re mad at you. It’s best to choose wisely who to open up to for both genders.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Please tell me your not laughing at your own imaginary jokes, cause that would be sad.

If it was a joke or not, I wrote it and thus it's not 'imaginary' is it?

Either way, I am not joking. Clearly you like to tighten your purse strings and you seem to also be emotionally constipated. Personally, I want you to keep doing what you're doing, because I want men like you to keep at it, so that women can see you coming from miles away.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

It’s only a recipe for disaster if you open up to someone who will use your vulnerabilities to attack you when they’re mad at you. It’s best to choose wisely who to open up to for both genders.

Many, many women divorce their husbands or at best lose all respect for them when they open up about their mental health. You're the protector of the family; you have failed as a man in her eyes if you do that. They can't really help you anyway since they can't relate to male problems so you'd be a fool to tell her you're depressed or anxious.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Candle light dinner at home, bringing flowers,

Sound fake af. Does anybody actually like this

rubbing feet while watching TV

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

going to a fancy restaurant every quarter, buying a gift to celebrate their major accomplishment,

Sounds normal

reading a novel with them while cuddling, etc.

Gay

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Sound fake af. Does anybody actually like this

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sounds normal

Gay

Cuddling with someone of the opposite sex and reading is gay now?

 

[bluebird]

If its FOB lovebombing, then yes, it is cringey and scary, but in a relationship that develops at a natural pace, it's cute.

probably the reason for my distaste then, is that I only every experience lovebombing LOL. I never experience a natural pace. even the one I thought were sane start going crazy 2 days in . There must be a problem with me.

 

[Kane]

If it was a joke or not, I wrote it and thus it's not 'imaginary' is it?

Either way, I am not joking. Clearly you like to tighten your purse strings and you seem to also be emotionally constipated. Personally, I want you to keep doing what you're doing, because I want men like you to keep at it, so that women can see you coming from miles away.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Kalsoon]

Many, many women divorce their husbands or at best lose all respect for them when they open up about their mental health. You're the protector of the family; you have failed as a man in her eyes if you do that. They can't really help you anyway since they can't relate to male problems so you'd be a fool to tell her you're depressed or anxious.

Everyone has moments where they struggle. Even niman. Only people who lack empathy expect men to always put up a strong act. It takes a great deal of strength to open to someone you love and letting them know what you’re dealing with so they may support you. They don’t need to be able to relate. A wife should be there for her husband even if she can’t understand the struggle he is facing. That’s what the diin teaches us. Sadly many people don’t follow the teachings of the diin.

 

[Angelina]

women only choose men rationally when they have to settle, other wise they Choose men based on their emotions.

You created an entire scenario from thin air, no body spoke of courting or marriage. Until you brought it up, the guy was talking about his girl.

but thanks for sharing your imagination and your theories.



I’m against the idea, that genuine desire can be negotiated or bought at any price.

The thing is gifting brings people closer. That is why the Prophet s.a.w tells us to gift our loved ones. In a relationship, gifting one’s spouse will make the relationship better.

And a man buying some strange women gifts to win her approval. A woman will choose a life of poverty, if that’s what it take to be with the man she wants.

Nope. Not true. Not all women are the same. Some would, some wouldn’t. I thought you knew the nature of women? Wanting stability is part of our natural instinct as we’re mothers. Therefore a man’s resources are important for us. That is why poor men struggle.

Love only becomes a business with terms and prices, when she has zero attraction for the man she is with.

Buying someone a gift isn’t a business. It becomes one when the guy is excessive or starts too early on. It’s clear that OP has been talking to her for some time.

Anyways, you’ve not answered my question. Do you think gifting between couples is a good thing?

 

[Yaraye]

Men and women are equal now apparently so why doesn't the woman buy a gift sometimes too. Or are you a unemployed female who wants to leech, bax shako yeelo and buy your own gifts.

your name doesn't suit you i've never seen a ragnimo act this way