Ohio and Somalia
Why do married Somali men with kids cheat?
- Thread starter Gibiin-Udug
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You are still decieving her. Nobody is saying its haraam, but its bad manners and incredibly hurtful.
Example:
Imagine your wife brought a secret villa and you had no idea, but your friends told you about her villa as they found out from other people. How would you feel? Its halal for her to not tell you. But what type of marriage is that?
Imagine your brother/ best friend without informing you married your ex wife? All your friends knew. How would you feel? You would probably feel decieved.
All of the above is halal, yet not informing them is bad ettiquette and would be hurtful. Why would you want to hurt and decieve another human let alone a woman you supposedly love and share your life with?
Somalis need to stop encouraging this sort of behaviour in which the husband decieves his wife. Stop acting like its normal behaviour
Decieve her like she owns the man. Listen here marriage in islam is not inclusive to one women. Ifa man marries a women that is his first amrriage and she should busy herself with that. Secondly i understand what you are saying and i beleive its a case by case thing based on the dabacad of your girl. What im arguing is the whole cheating shit which is false. You shoukd never ask your wife about the other. That is not her business
You don't own your friends, brother or wife. Yet if they were to hide big things from you, you would be hurt.
Polygamy change things for a woman. She sees him less and so do her kids and she has to share his money with another woman. The whole dynamic changes for her. It affects her life. So how could you expect her not to care? You are living on cloud 9.
Its not about ownership. Its about being respectful towards someone you are sharing your life with.
Than if that is the case and it is harmful. Why would Allah and his prophet say it is allowed and a good thing. Is your hikmah better than Allah.
Polygamy is allowed.
I never denied that polygamy being halal.
We are talking about not telling your wife. The fatwa YOU posted even said it is better to tell her.
In islam, your own brother can marry your ex wife without telling you. Does that mean he should hide it from you???
Where does it say in the Quraan and Sunnah that a man should not tell his wife?
Where does it say that you have to tell. Again it is not wajib to tell. War jiirba cakaro iiman. Word spreads. All im saying is you dont have to tell her about your intetions and your other family. If she asks than tell her . No problem
Not telling her is disrespectful. You can say it is not wajib, but it is a sign of bad manners.
It really depends on whether or not you even care about your wife's emotional wellbeing. Hiding and decieveing will hurt a woman.
So you think its normal behaviour for a woman to find out about her husbands 2nd family from other people?
Also, how does a man treat both women equally if the one does not know about the other? When you visit the 2nd wife do they lie?
A wise man will take into account how his actions will hurt his family. If you respect your wife you will tell her.
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Lying and withholding information are differnt things. Equality in the ayat is understood as spending the night and financially. Emotions can't be shared. Wll before you comment read the tafsiir of that ayat and let me know what you thing and understand the last portion of the ayat means.
Look the fatwa you posted illustrated that a husband should inform his wife because its good manners and he should be respectful.
The wife’s approval is not a condition for plural marriage, and it is not obligatory for the husband to have the approval of his first wife if he wants to marry a second wife. But it is good manners and kind treatment to approach the issue in such a way as to reduce the pain which women naturally feel in such cases, by smiling at her, greeting her warmly, speaking nicely to her and spending money on her according to his means, in order to gain her approval. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/204.
When the husband visits the other woman he is obviously going to lie and say he is going somewhere else. That is deception and lying.
He needs to treat both equal. A man will find it hard if he has to hide one from the other.
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imaan la'aan
There is some truth to this. One of my best friends who grew up with me is a serial cheater. His first wife kicked him out cos he cheated on her with a supermodel looking Xalimo whom he subsequently married.
And then he cheated on her too with a charming but a chubby Xalimo. She too found out by way of accidentally discovering his second phone in a garage or some alleyway around the house while cleaning.
I had the misfortune of being a witness as she caught up with him whilst he was with me in our usual chill spot. He would always tell her when he was coming to meet me because apparently I'm usually the most "noble" out of all of his friends
.
It wasn't pretty. She slapped the shit out of him. Spilled some orange juice and coffee on him. Threw a plate at him which landed smack in the middle of his face as he was ducking.
Then she turned her attention to me huffing and puffing while I was half in flight mode trying to make a smooth exit.
She was like "Waryaa abahaa was since you are single and shaxaari you are the one responsible for ruining my husband and introducing him to s bla bala..
I even fucking rarely saw the guy! He was just a childhood friend whom I had known a long time.
And apparently "Shaxari" means a player in southern accent and both my friend and this chick were from Mogadishu.
I took two steps back, got into a defensive position and was like - " Nayaa i'm not your husband wallahi I will fly kick you if you get any closer
And then he cheated on her too with a charming but a chubby Xalimo. She too found out by way of accidentally discovering his second phone in a garage or some alleyway around the house while cleaning.
I had the misfortune of being a witness as she caught up with him whilst he was with me in our usual chill spot. He would always tell her when he was coming to meet me because apparently I'm usually the most "noble" out of all of his friends
.It wasn't pretty. She slapped the shit out of him. Spilled some orange juice and coffee on him. Threw a plate at him which landed smack in the middle of his face as he was ducking.
Then she turned her attention to me huffing and puffing while I was half in flight mode trying to make a smooth exit.
She was like "Waryaa abahaa was since you are single and shaxaari you are the one responsible for ruining my husband and introducing him to s bla bala..
I even fucking rarely saw the guy! He was just a childhood friend whom I had known a long time.
And apparently "Shaxari" means a player in southern accent and both my friend and this chick were from Mogadishu.
I took two steps back, got into a defensive position and was like - " Nayaa i'm not your husband wallahi I will fly kick you if you get any closer
There is some truth to this. One of my best friends who grew up with me is a serial cheater. His first wife kicked him out cos he cheated on her with a supermodel looking Xalimo whom he subsequently married.
And then he cheated on her too with a charming but a chubby Xalimo. She too found out by way of accidentally discovering his second phone in a garage or some alleyway around the house while cleaning.
I had the misfortune of being a witness as she caught up with him whilst he was with me in our usual chill spot. He would always tell her when he was coming to meet me because apparently I'm usually the most "noble" out of all of his friends
It wasn't pretty. She slapped the shit out of him. Spilled some orange juice and coffee on him. Threw a plate at him which landed smack in the middle of his face as he was ducking.
Then she turned her attention to me huffing and puffing while I was half in flight mode trying to make a smooth exit.
She was like "Waryaa abahaa was since you are single and shaxaari you are the one responsible for ruining my husband and introducing him to s bla bala..
I even fucking rarely saw the guy! He was just a childhood friend whom I had known a long time.
And apparently "Shaxari" means a player in southern accent and both my friend and this chick were from Mogadishu.
I took two steps back, got into a defensive position and was like - " Nayaa i'm not your husband wallahi I will fly kick you if you get any closer
You're an amazing storyteller. You should write a novel. Such an overactive imagination. What talent.
Its halal to have multiple wives
But It is cheating when you dont tell her about the other wife cause youre hiding it from her for a reason
You cant sit there and act like its fine if youre gonna bring another woman into your life than you should tell her from the get go
HalimaJ,
I guess that in itself is a compliment even though you might've been taking a dig
.But I confess I did add some "Xawash" though if truth be told only the crux of the original drama is all there as I did my best to be succinct.
What in the actual fucking kind of statement did you make above? Lets do go back to drawing board
.And this time please don't forget about the full stop at the end
Cheating is when you go screwing around outside of marriage.
Wll i agree that is why i said there is dhaqan called maseyertir. You should comfort her as the emotions are high. If she asks where are you going, you can tell her where your wife city. Like im going to jigjiga.
Are you married?
what do you call it when someone is in a committed relationship and breaks the trust of his partner by getting physically or emotionally involved with another person?
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