Would you still be friends with opposite gender

[Angela Davis]

It's funny girls have no problems being friends with guys and don't want to cut off their "male friends". I wonder how many of them would want their husbands/ partners to have close female friends. Honestly for me, there hasn't been one friend who hasn't tried hitting on me in the beginning. Mind you though I never had close male friends from grade school or guy friends I grew up with. The guys that I became friends with later on in life will first try to get with me or pretend we're friends until an opportunity arises and they want to become more. I think it's natural for heterosexual people who are attractive and already have the friendship connection to want to take it further. The only way I can remain friends with the opposite gender is if I'm not physically attracted to them. I'm not attracted to a guy with female friends. Obviously his female friends aren't attracted to him either or else they would have become more. I can't be with the guy that constantly gets friend zoned. Sorry not sorry.

 

[VixR]

It's funny girls have no problems being friends with guys and don't want to cut off their "male friends". I wonder how many of them would want their husbands/ partners to have close female friends. Honestly for me, there hasn't been one friend who hasn't tried hitting on me in the beginning. Mind you though I never had close male friends from grade school or guy friends I grew up with. The guys that I became friends with later on in life will first try to get with me or pretend we're friends until an opportunity arises and they want to become more. I think it's natural for heterosexual people who are attractive and already have the friendship connection to want to take it further. The only way I can remain friends with the opposite gender is if I'm not physically attracted to them. I'm not attracted to a guy with female friends. Obviously his female friends aren't attracted to him either or else they would have become more. I can't be with the guy that constantly gets friend zoned. Sorry not sorry.

I think there's a profound difference between guys befriended since childhood and grown up with, known almost all my life, and the typical guy you meet along the way that sooner or later wants something more or other naturally, and vice versa. Although it can also happen that two attractive ppl of the opposite sex that grew up friends could fall into something, or perhaps more often, that one of them garners onesided romantic feelings, which I've experienced, but even having said that, generally speaking, I think they're categorically different from the typical scene you described.

Another common trope is two ppl who share interests, but aren't romantically interested in each other, meaning that they are without spark, being able to mantain a good friendship.

Ultimately, I think a serious relationship or marriage gains leverage so that if there are any feelings of inadequacy or misunderstandings over the nature of friendship, the person with the friend has the onus to properly address it before it grows legs, and be able to maintain a level of respectability and transparency, bc feeling of jealousy and inadequacy are natural and can be raw and real, and you don't want to stoke that in your lover.

 

[VixR]

... after you get married??




So my one of my close friend got married last year. It hasn't changed our friendship. But I feel guilty everytime we hang out

Why do u feel guilty?

 

[Angela Davis]

Definitely there's a difference between the male friends someone grew up with and someone you just met at work or in university. However I still think that it's a tough situation to navigate in. I don't think I will be comfortable with my man having multiple female friends. I don't like another woman having ownership of my man's time, energy and who feels entitled to call him whenever she wants unless her husband/partner is best friends with me and she allows me to kick it with him whenever I want. I'm not ashamed of being territorial and crazy over my man lol.

I think there's a profound difference between guys befriended since childhood and grown up with, known almost all my life, and the typical guy you meet along the way that sooner or later wants something more or other naturally, and vice versa. Although it can also happen that two attractive ppl of the opposite sex that grew up friends could fall into something, or perhaps more often, that one of them garners onesided romantic feelings, which I've experienced, but even having said that, generally speaking, I think they're categorically different from the typical scene you described.

Another common trope is two ppl who share interests, but aren't romantically interested in each other, meaning that they are without spark, being able to mantain a good friendship.

Ultimately, I think a serious relationship or marriage gains leverage so that if there are any feelings of inadequacy or misunderstandings over the nature of friendship, the person with the friend has the onus to properly address it before it grows legs, and be able to maintain a level of respectability and transparency, bc feeling of jealousy and inadequacy are natural and can be raw and real, and you don't want to stoke that in your lover.

 

[Angela Davis]

I never want his female friends feeling guilty or assuming my man wants them.

Why do u feel guilty?

 

[Kanye]

Why do u feel guilty?

If you're feeling guilty, maybe something's up.

The heart wants what the heart wants

 

[VixR]

Definitely there's a difference between the male friends someone grew up with and someone you just met at work or in university. However I still think that it's a tough situation to navigate in. I don't think I will be comfortable with my man having multiple female friends. I don't like another woman having ownership of my man's time, energy and who feels entitled to call him whenever she wants unless her husband/partner is best friends with me and she allows me to kick it with him whenever I want. I'm not ashamed of being territorial and crazy over my man lol.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, ppl are different, but I guess I'm not as territorial? lol

I think it's better to have other interests and circles outside the relationship/marriage. Some or most of them could probably be mutual, but I don't think all of them should be, or that they should be samesex as a rule. Is that weird?

And I don't want the person all up in my grill all the time.

I think calling it having ownership over his time is to put it very strongly.

And I think it's one thing to feel wanted by your partner and something else for it to be too possessive, suffocated, which is how being that restrictive would feel to me.

There ought to be some kind of a balance.

This could just be a difference in personality.

 

[VixR]

The heart wants what the heart wants

Lol let OP answer for herself.

 

[Angela Davis]

I get you and I'm all about having my own space. He should have his own space too. I however don't think it's necessary for his interests to involve intimate outings with his female friends or 3 am text messages. My female
friends and I can go to spas together and text each other late at night. We can undress infront of each other and sleep on the same bed. To be honest I can't ever form platonic relationships with men that are identical to my female relationships. There will always be boundaries male friends can't cross. So yes, I maybe "friends" with guys but it can't ever be the same as my female friendships without it getting complicated. I also do know and understand that if a man was going to cheat, him having no female friends won't prevent him from cheating. I'm not worried about cheating I just don't like another woman feeling entitled to my man.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, ppl are different, but I guess I'm not as territorial? lol

I think it's better to have other interests and circles outside the relationship/marriage. Some or most of them could probably be mutual, but I don't think all of them should be, or that they should be samesex as a rule. Is that weird?

And I don't want the person all up in my grill all the time.

I think calling it having ownership over his time is to put it very strongly.

And I think it's one thing to feel wanted by your partner and something else to be too possessive suffocated, which is how being that restrive would feel to me.

There ought to be some kind of a balance.

This could just be a difference in personality.

 

[VixR]

I never want his female friends feeling guilty or assuming my man wants them.

Maybe she feels being friends with a married man is untoward. It is discouraged traditionally. Or it could have something to do with the wife. I'm curious to see the answer.

I get you and I'm all about having my own space. He should have his own space too. I however don't think it's necessary for his interests to involve intimate outings with his female friends or 3 am text messages. My female
friends and I can go to spas together and text each other late at night. We can undress infront of each other and sleep on the same bed. To be honest I can't ever form platonic relationships with men that are identical to my female relationships. There will always be boundaries male friends can't cross. So yes, I maybe "friends" with guys but it can't ever be the same as my female friendships without it getting complicated. I also do know and understand that if a man was going to cheat, him having no female friends won't prevent him from cheating. I'm not worried about cheating I just don't like another woman feeling entitled to my man.

I get you. You make a lot of sense runti

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

Oh you

A friend in need is a friend indeed

 

[Hemaal]

Why not! Gotta land my 2nd and 3rd

 

[QalinQor]

It's funny girls have no problems being friends with guys and don't want to cut off their "male friends". I wonder how many of them would want their husbands/ partners to have close female friends

Tbh it wouldn't bother me if my husband kept his female friends. I know at the end of the day he chose to be with me and that's enough reason to trust him. As long he ain't cheating on me, then is cool. Lol ps he's not my life, just some man in my life.

I'm not attracted to a guy with female friends. Obviously his female friends aren't attracted to him either or else they would have become more. I can't be with the guy that constantly gets friend zoned. Sorry not sorry.

Dkm

Why do u feel guilty?

Ah I don't know. I'm always careful when it comes to married friends. Given the high divorce rate among young adults, last thing I want is to be the reason young couple break up, specially due to misinterpretated intentions. When my girls get married, I don't even go to their house just incase they think I'm seducing their husband. I usually meet em outside. And when my boys get married, I stay away from em. Period. But there are certain indivuals who I feel privileged to be friends with. He's like the most creative Somali guy I know. This guy creates hand drawn animations... like from scratch... like several hundred pages... lool I'll ask him if I can post his YouTube channel on here. Lool I even tried to copy him and created animation, but with software tho... but I gave up half way

The heart wants what the heart wants

I don't wana be with him. I just wana be like him