Taacsi culture

[Riya.]

What’s your opinion on it?
The thought of a close family member/parent dying and guests coming over and expecting food? I think I’d lose my head and go off on them. This is truly something I despise.

 

[NordicSomali]

Expecting food?

 

[Riya.]

Expecting food?

Yes that’s what happens. They expect to come over and have a slaughtered goat on their plate just after a funeral. It just doesn’t seem sincere at all.

 

[Prince of HS]

My mother always disliked the culture of eating food at a taacsi. I haven’t been a big fan of this practise either. Imagine your child dies and you have to get ready to cook food for dozens of people who come over. You don’t even have time to mourn

 

[Aurelian]

How they can eat ?

 

[Riya.]

My mother always disliked the culture of eating food at a taacsi. I haven’t been a big fan of this practise either. Imagine your child dies and you have to get ready to cook food for dozens of people who come over. You don’t even have time to mourn

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[Man with a garuun]

It is horrible and difficult for the family who is mourning from losing a loved one. At the same time, if you don't go and visit the family who lost a loved one or at least give them a call to share your condolences, people would hold grudge against you.

The best thing to do is take off from work and visit the mourning family and help them out. Try to bring food with you and if you could help the cooking, that would be good as well.

 

[Dima&Damo]

What culture is that???? useally it's the relatives and friends who cook the meals

 

[Riya.]

What culture is that???? useally it's the relatives and friends who cook the meals

Edit I misread it.
yes exactly that it’s wrong. The whole idea of family and friends cooking for guests after we’re the ones grieving. Rather than them bringing food.

 

[Riya.]

I’m not even just talking about the food part guys. If you’ve ever attended one you know it turns into a space to gossip and catch up with one another. I believe that is an extreme level of disrespect.

 

[Dima&Damo]

Edit I misread it.
yes exactly that it’s wrong. The whole idea of family and friends cooking for guests after we’re the ones grieving. Rather than them bringing food.

Most cultures in the world do this though

 

[Calaami]

Somali tacsi culture is very taxing on the bereaved. Duco, meals, and words of kindness to the deceased's family should be enough. But what actually happens is that the community flood into their home, demand their time, try to get the scoop on the deceased, eat all the food, and leave. It's incredibly toxic wallahi.

 

[Journey.]

The thing is none of that is even permissible Islamically. Even congregating at the deceased's family's house is considered as part of "wailing". The Scholars do remind the people but it's difficult to get rid of long-standing cultural norms/traditions. People always fall back on it.

 

[Journey.]

I’m not even just talking about the food part guys. If you’ve ever attended one you know it turns into a space to gossip and catch up with one another. I believe that is an extreme level of disrespect.

Yes, people visit and then start chit-chatting and even laughing loudly. It turns into a typical get-together.

 

[Riya.]

The thing is none of that is even permissible Islamically. Even congregating at the deceased's family's house is considered as part of "wailing". The Scholars do remind the people but it's difficult to get rid of long-standing cultural norms/traditions. People always fall back on it.

Wow I didn’t even know it was haram.

 

[Angelina]

It is horrible and difficult for the family who is mourning from losing a loved one. At the same time, if you don't go and visit the family who lost a loved one or at least give them a call to share your condolences, people would hold grudge against you.

The best thing to do is take off from work and visit the mourning family and help them out. Try to bring food with you and if you could help the cooking, that would be good as well.

That is what most families in my area do now. No one expects them to cook. The guests bring everything.

I think Somalis have wised up now and realized that the traditional expectations of forcing mourners to slave away in the kitchen is cruel and narcissistic. It’s embarrassing that this was once an expectation. But, Alhamdulliah that isn’t really the case anymore. I’m not sure how it is back home though. I don’t think when visiting we had taacsi or anything.

 

[Angelina]

Yes, people visit and then start chit-chatting and even laughing loudly. It turns into a typical get-together.

It’s incredibly disrespectful. Imagine someone lost a child or a parent. The hurt would be amplified and then you have Xalimo and Maryam down the road using that as a link up.

Authobilliah. A bit of emotional intelligence goes a long way, but it seems it’s missing for a lot of the general population.

Thanks God for Islam, if truly does refine our manners and morals.

 

[Mantiq_Al-gharb]

My hooyo has always told me during a tascsi the person cannot cook anything for the first three days, in fact I don't think I've every seen a mourner bring food it's always been guests
Am I missing something?

 

[Basra]

What’s your opinion on it?
The thought of a close family member/parent dying and guests coming over and expecting food? I think I’d lose my head and go off on them. This is truly something I despise.

Its a good tradittion. Positive. People sharing food together in sadness. It helps with the sadness. Don't focus on negativity, especially when u r grieving. Instead be unselfish- and stand up- feed them while u r grieving

 

[Riya.]

Its a good tradittion. Positive. People sharing food together in sadness. It helps with the sadness. Don't focus on negativity, especially when u r grieving. Instead be unselfish- and stand up- feed them while u r grieving

They can kiss my ass respectfully