Spend his money and save yours

[Kodeen]

A minority of men do have proper money and they will obviously not complain.

I don't understand, so only a minority of men should be looking to marry? Will you camp it out until your early 40's or late 30's so your odds improve or do you feel you appeal to this minority? We're realistically talking 5% at most lol

 

[NotMyL]

First of all mashallah you both doing well. But most young people are not doing that well. I think there is too much pressure on young somali boys to be providers as soon as they finish school. I believe in early on if you get married working together and establish yourself where you can reach that level. So if I see a young man who is trying to do well but dont have the means right now. Calling him a bum and say come back when you are established is harmful to us as community.

My comments about the bums was to address the bums in this thread. I would encourage young men to wait and establish their careers before they start families. God made you the man for a reason, your wife will have children and be forced to stop working at some point, you should be financially comfortable that you can take care of your house. Just like you guys are pressured to provide we are pressured to nurture and take care of the house. All Feminism is to me, is equality, simple basic human rights. You believe women deserve the same rights as men, that’s where it starts and ends for me, all the other bs about growing your armpits hair to show you are equal is background noise.

 

[YourBroMoe]

It will be dead unlrss some of the burden is not taken off men.



And thats why i will have the longest talk about money with future wife. Most somali marriages end due to financial pressure

Marriage isn't a burden for those who aren't stupid.

If you and your significant other both have a good idea of what you want, you can make a sensible arrangement.

For example, I'm a working man, I can cook and take care of myself. I'm pretty independent in that regard. So for me, I'd prefer a wife who splits everything 50/50. 50% of the bills, 50% of the chores, etc. We work as a team.

If you as a man or woman earn a significantly larger amount of money than your spouse, then you can pay 75% of the bills, and they'll do 75% of the chores, etc.

It's all about balance. That's it.

That's why the idea of spending his money and saving yours is okay, so long as she does all the housework. Why? Because if that's not the case, then what on Earth does she bring to the table if she's not putting in money?

Men, get a prenup, and have standards in your marriage. Know what you want from your wife and what kind of marriage you want beforehand. Do this, and you'll be happy.

 

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

How can your wife pay for anything when she will be home and taking care of her kids and husband?

 

[HalimaJ]

I don't understand, so only a minority of men should be looking to marry? Will you camp it out until your early 40's or late 30's so your odds improve or do you feel you appeal to this minority? We're realistically talking 5% at most lol

Look my views is simple.

If i'm married to a man that needs help due to him not earning much and the living cost being high then I will help.

If he has the money to look after the whole household then no.

 

[HalimaJ]

Marriage isn't a burden for those who aren't stupid.

If you and your significant other both have a good idea of what you want, you can make a sensible arrangement.

For example, I'm a working man, I can cook and take care of myself. I'm pretty independent in that regard. So for me, I'd prefer a wife who splits everything 50/50. 50% of the bills, 50% of the chores, etc. We work as a team.

If you as a man or woman earn a significantly larger amount of money than your spouse, then you can pay 75% of the bills, and they'll do 75% of the chores, etc.

It's all about balance. That's it.

That's why the idea of spending his money and saving yours is okay, so long as she does all the housework. Why? Because if that's not the case, then what on Earth does she bring to the table if she's not putting in money?

Men, get a prenup, and have standards in your marriage. Know what you want from your wife and what kind of marriage you want beforehand. Do this, and you'll be happy.

For starters she is pushing out your big headed kids.

 

[Mercury]

It will be dead unlrss some of the burden is not taken off men.



And thats why i will have the longest talk about money with future wife. Most somali marriages end due to financial pressure

The Two biggest reasons for divorce all around the world was money closely followed by household chores

 

[YourBroMoe]

For starters she is pushing out your big headed kids.

And she'll do this 3-4 times tops in her lifetime as I slave away at work for 12 hour shifts for 4-5 days a week (my life right now).

 

[halwa]

Cabaaadaye. You men on this forum except for Mercury, Libax, Aussie and a few others cry too much like babies



Cry babies. I don’t think any women will want to marry you lot. Stingy and lazy boy.

 

[HalimaJ]

And she'll do this 3-4 times tops in her lifetime as I slave away at work for 12 hour shifts for 4-5 days a week (my life right now).

First 3yrs is primarily the woman looking after the baby regardless of how 'modern the family is' which effects a woman's earning potential.

Imagine a woman having 3 kids and she spaces it out every 2-3 yrs. Think about breast feeding, recovering from pregnancy, nursing the child. That is like a good 6-10 yrs.

And on top of all of that she has to be 50/50 and slave away. Your circumstances are not the same.

Honestly some of you men are clueless.

 

[East side]

Marriage isn't a burden for those who aren't stupid.

If you and your significant other both have a good idea of what you want, you can make a sensible arrangement.

For example, I'm a working man, I can cook and take care of myself. I'm pretty independent in that regard. So for me, I'd prefer a wife who splits everything 50/50. 50% of the bills, 50% of the chores, etc. We work as a team.

If you as a man or woman earn a significantly larger amount of money than your spouse, then you can pay 75% of the bills, and they'll do 75% of the chores, etc.

It's all about balance. That's it.

That's why the idea of spending his money and saving yours is okay, so long as she does all the housework. Why? Because if that's not the case, then what on Earth does she bring to the table if she's not putting in money?

Men, get a prenup, and have standards in your marriage. Know what you want from your wife and what kind of marriage you want beforehand. Do this, and you'll be happy.

Yep I work and live on my own. I can cook....so her saying i can cook for you aint doing much since I probably can cook better. But then comes the kids argument.....the ultimate guilt trip. Since im carrying your kids i deserve to slack rest of my life

 

[halwa]

@TheShinning and @HalimaJ

Have you noticed how the more established and elite men of this forum like Armadillo, Abdalla, reer bari, etc don’t seem to be participating in these type of threads? It is only the uneducated and poor men in this place who seem to have problem with Allah’s command and providing for their family.

 

[East side]

@TheShinning and @HalimaJ

Have you noticed how the more established and elite men of this forum like Armadillo, Abdalla, reer bari, etc don’t seem to be participating in these type of threads? It is only the uneducated and poor men in this place who seem to have problem with Allah’s command and providing for their family.

And the usual you are a bum if you call us out. That train never arrives late

 

[YourBroMoe]

First 3yrs is primarily the woman looking after the baby regardless of how 'modern the family is' which effects a woman's early potential.

Imagine a woman having 3 kids and she spaces it out every 2-3 yrs. Think about breast feeding, recovering from pregnancy, nursing the child. That is like a good 6-8 yrs.

Honestly some of you men and clueless.

And for all of those years, I'll happily and faithfully support her in every way I can.
And if she wants to work after that and have a different type of marriage, we can also talk about that.
And if we got issues, we can talk and work that out.

What I said, and what you're saying are 2 completely different things.

 

[halwa]

And the usual you are a bum if you call us out. That train never arrives late

Baby cry me a riveeeeerrrr

 

[World]

Youngish yes, but I've been working for quite some time now Alhamdulliah and have a realistic understanding of finances.

I'm obviously aware that the average Farax in his twenties will struggle to provide on his own. But that is not the case for every man and it seems Theshinning's husband is one of those men that are doing well alhamdulliah.
Therefore, his mindset is going to be very different to the men here who are young and trying to establish themselves.

Theshining at least lives in MN not fucking London, the world’s leading wealth centre.

But that doesn’t excuse her for not giving her husband his due rights.

 

[NotMyL]

@TheShinning and @HalimaJ

Have you noticed how the more established and elite men of this forum like Armadillo, Abdalla, reer bari, etc don’t seem to be participating in these type of threads? It is only the uneducated and poor men in this place who seem to have problem with Allah’s command and providing for their family.

@Abdalla trashed my post, I’m sure his views align with the others here lol don’t know about the other two, I was hoping to hear more from the married men here instead I got the opinions of 35 year olds who are still living at hooyo’s.

 

[HalimaJ]

Theshining at least lives in MN not fucking London, the world’s leading wealth centre.

But that doesn’t excuse her for not giving her husband his due rights.

What is his due rights? Her money???

 

[World]

No she has to atleast work part time. No woman in her 20s with no kids should sit home

They want to wake up at 1PM and watch netflix, get their nails done, gossip on the phone to their friends. And expect their man after working 60 hours I n a week, to do half of the household duties.

I see why a lot of guys are put off by Somali women, a lot of them are leeches who have no aspirations and want to be bums.

 

[halwa]

@Abdalla trashed my post, I’m sure his views align with the others here lol don’t know about the other two, I was hoping to hear more from the married men here instead I got the opinions of 35 year olds who are still living at hooyo’s.

Just something I’ve noticed.

All they know is how to cry. Like, is it my fault you’re insecure and don’t have a good job? Bax waryaa, meesha ka kac. Provide for your family.

They are in their late 30s most of them with insecurities.