Professional Sister wondering if somali men are spoiled for choice are secretly gay [smh], since she can't find a compatible match?!

[Abdisamad]

Ain't no shame in my game

I wasn't trying to shame, hope you get yourself a white boy... Just remember it's not always as you expect especially when you have zero experience.

 

[Magan95]

I wasn't trying to shame, hope you get yourself a white boy... Just remember it's not always as you expect especially when you have zero experience.

I'll keep that in mind.

I'm not physically attracted to white men, they're just very submissive/meek a decent amount of the time. Sometimes you can overlook physical attraction if your personalities are compatible

 

[Abdisamad]

I'll keep that in mind.

I'm not physically attracted to white men, they're just very submissive/meek a decent amount of the time. Sometimes you can overlook physical attraction if your personalities are compatible

Wouldn't you get bored with someone who you don't feel attracted to? And by submissive you mean they'll help you around with house chores? Anyway normal women want to be dominated by their men and not vise versa, just don't end up with a white guy who after a couple of years turns into Bruce Jenner on you.

 

[Abdisamad]

@Magan95

One of the reasons I don't like to marry an Ajnabi of any kind is for one reason, when ever there's a family gathering you'll always be an out sider, a minority within your family and beside your kids will not belong to any specific ethnic group, they'll just be mixed with no identity.

 

[Magan95]

Wouldn't you get bored to someone who don't feel attracted to? And by submissive you mean they'll help you around with house chores?

Submissive = They'll let me be in control over most things

Helping around the house is basics lol, if a man can't even do that he belongs to the streets.

Anyway normal women want to be dominated by their men and not vise versa, just don't end up with a white guy who after a couple of years turns into Bruce Jenner on you.

Normal is overrated hunno

 

[Angelina]

Women care about a man's educational level more than men care about women's. That is a given.

But the idea that men don't care at all isn't true. Statistically, most professional men are married to women who also have at least degrees btw.

Even in the Somali community, most of the educated Faraxs are married to Xalimos who are rather educated as well.

I can see why some men find it cringe when women list their educational achievements like its something that will soley attract a man. In saying this, the goal post is always shifting and there is no winning. If she was just beautiful but with no money, education or nothing tangible, the same men who say things about professional women, will also tell a non educated beautiful and feminine woman 'what do you bring the table' apart from a pretty face ect.

 

[Abdisamad]

Submissive = They'll let me be in control over most things

Girl you want a robot with a remote control then

Helping around the house is basics lol, if a man can't even do that he belongs to the streets.


Normal is overrated hunno

Lool.. Don't you want your man to make you feel like a real woman? A push over guy won't be able to make you feel like a real woman, over the years you'll get tired of him and look for a real man who can dominate you, and you can surrender all your feminine self to his masculine manhood.

 

[Jaydaan]

I'll keep that in mind.

I'm not physically attracted to white men, they're just very submissive/meek a decent amount of the time. Sometimes you can overlook physical attraction if your personalities are compatible

I think you got it wrong about white men being meek. They are definitely not loud, they move in silence and are ruthless.

 

[Abdisamad]

Women care about a man's educational level more than men care about women's. That is a given.

But the idea that men don't care at all isn't true. Statistically, most professional men are married to women who also have at least degrees btw.

Even in the Somali community, most of the educated Faraxs are married to Xalimos who are rather educated as well.

I can see why some men find it cringe when women list their educational achievements like its something that will soley attract a man. In saying this, the goal post is always shifting and there is no winning. If she was just beautiful but with no money, education or nothing tangible, the same men who say things about professional women, will also tell a non educated beautiful and feminine woman 'what do you bring the table' apart from a pretty face ect.

It's good for a woman to have an education and be successful in what ever she's doing, but she also needs other characteristics/qualities in order to attract a good husband.. Honestly I would love to have a woman who's ambitious with a degree but if she's not feminine, sweet, caring and someone who's down to earth, I won't even bother to use 5 minutes of my time on her.. Some women expect men to come crawling to them and they think being nice and pleasing is a one way street, I generally stay away from those kind of women.

 

[Angelina]

I don't think man has ever uproached her, she's just writing that to boost her self confidence.. Beside a nursing degree is not being successful.. Looking down on blue collar workers while being a nurse is totally low iq.

I can see where she is coming from though. She's still young, but if you don't have a strong Somali social circle or family that will try to hook you up, regardless as to how pretty you are, marriage can be hard. Which is why I believe we do need traditional match making services like other communities.

Also, decent moral and professional Somali men are spoilt for choice. Alhamdulliah, the majority of people in my family are educated and my brothers and cousins are spoilt for choice.

There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with blue collar workers, I mean plumbers in the UK make a lot and many go on to start their plumbing company and make a killing, so i'd go for one.

I don't know, I think the issue is a little deeper than she's a 'femcell' she's fat ect. Because I can definitely see an attractive girl being in her situation if she doesn't have a strong Somali circle.

 

[Qeelbax]

Women care about a man's educational level more than men care about women's. That is a given.

But the idea that men don't care at all isn't true. Statistically, most professional men are married to women who also have at least degrees btw.

Even in the Somali community, most of the educated Faraxs are married to Xalimos who are rather educated as well.

I can see why some men find it cringe when women list their educational achievements like its something that will soley attract a man. In saying this, the goal post is always shifting and there is no winning. If she was just beautiful but with no money, education or nothing tangible, the same men who say things about professional women, will also tell a non educated beautiful and feminine woman 'what do you bring the table' apart from a pretty face ect.

It’s important for a woman to have a back up, what if the husband dies? Mom needs an outlet on the side.

 

[Angelina]

It's good for a woman to have an education and be successful in what ever she's doing, but she also needs other characteristics/qualities in order to attract a good husband.. Honestly I would love to have a woman who's ambitious with a degree but if she's not feminine, sweet, caring and someone who's down to earth, I won't even bother to use 5 minutes of my time on her.. Some women expect men to come crawling to them and they think being nice and pleasing is a one way street, I generally stay away from those kind of women.

Yeah, definitely I understand. A woman shouldn't lead with her educational achievements. I never understood why they'd do that as I always saw my degree and career as something soley for me and i'd be afraid of attracting a feminine man who is opportunistic and wants to use my achievements to 'help him pay the bills'.

In saying that, i do believe the sister articulated her frustrations in a clumsy manner that came across as rude. But there is no denying that we do have an issue with girls finding husbands, especially the ones that don't have good social connections. If you're the type of girl that tries to 'keep it halal' but your family and friends don't know anyone to introduce you to, how are you going to attract high quality men? Most Faraxs are no longer in the business of knocking on a girls door and trying to marry in a traditional manner, unless its his parents that know the girls family.

 

[Abdisamad]

I can see where she is coming from though. She's still young, but if you don't have a strong Somali social circle or family that will try to hook you up, regardless as to how pretty you are, marriage can be hard. Which is why I believe we do need traditional match making services like other communities.

Also, decent moral and professional Somali men are spoilt for choice. Alhamdulliah, the majority of people in my family are educated and my brothers and cousins are spoilt for choice.

There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with blue collar workers, I mean plumbers in the UK make a lot and many go on to start their plumbing company and make a killing, so i'd go for one.

I don't know, I think the issue is a little deeper than she's a 'femcell' she's fat ect. Because I can definitely see an attractive girl being in her situation if she doesn't have a strong Somali circle.

True, we definitely agree on this one.. How do other Muslims meet each other apart from family arrangements.

 

[Shimbiris]

Yeah, definitely I understand. A woman shouldn't lead with her educational achievements. I never understood why they'd do that as I always saw my degree and career as something soley for me and i'd be afraid of attracting a feminine man who is opportunistic and wants to use my achievements to 'help him pay the bills'.

In saying that, i do believe the sister articulated her frustrations in a clumsy manner that came across as rude. But there is no denying that we do have an issue with girls finding husbands, especially the ones that don't have good social connections. If you're the type of girl that tries to 'keep it halal' but your family and friends don't know anyone to introduce you to, how are you going to attract high quality men? Most Faraxs are no longer in the business of knocking on a girls door and trying to marry in a traditional manner, unless its his parents that know the girls family.

One funny tactic I've noticed is just randomly adding Somali guys they don't know on social media as a signal to DM them. Used to have this happen from time to time before I went private on IG and actually used to use it.

 

[Jaydaan]

Yeah, definitely I understand. A woman shouldn't lead with her educational achievements. I never understood why they'd do that as I always saw my degree and career as something soley for me and i'd be afraid of attracting a feminine man who is opportunistic and wants to use my achievements to 'help him pay the bills'.

In saying that, i do believe the sister articulated her frustrations in a clumsy manner that came across as rude. But there is no denying that we do have an issue with girls finding husbands, especially the ones that don't have good social connections. If you're the type of girl that tries to 'keep it halal' but your family and friends don't know anyone to introduce you to, how are you going to attract high quality men? Most Faraxs are no longer in the business of knocking on a girls door and trying to marry in a traditional manner, unless its his parents that know the girls family.

A lot of faraxs stopped approaching because sadly a lot of the times they get plain disrespected. And sadly Somali parents big up any kid who goes to uni and get a degree that some Somalis get plain big headed. It’s good to have good education and job. But that alone doesn’t make you quality person

 

[Nin waalan]

They thought that #AbdiExit shit was a joke

think again

 

[Sophisticate]

I think most of you kids are young. At my age, you have individuals with years of working experience along with MAs, MBAs, MSc, MDs, JDs and PhDs. Most of the guys with the credentials are around or above 30. A BA is like a basic requirement. If you think that is hard to find. I don't know what to tell you.

The real questions you should ask is are you compatible and are your lifestyles congruent? And do you think you can tolerate each other dealing with periodic isolation during the pandemic (where everything is more amplified given that you aren't afforded much of a break from each other unless you work in-person or when shopping)? These are some tough questions.

 

[Shimbiris]

I think most of you kids are young. At my age, you have individuals with years of working experience along with MAs, MBAs, MSc, MDs, JDs and PhDs. Most of the guys with the credentials are around or above 30. A BA is like a basic requirement. If you think that is hard to find. I don't know what to tell you.

The real questions you should ask is are you compatible and are your lifestyles congruent? And do you think you can tolerate each other dealing with periodic isolation during the pandemic (where everything is more amplified given that you aren't afforded much of a break from each other unless you work in-person or when shopping)? These are some tough questions.

You think too much and I can tell it gets in the way of you finding happiness.

 

[Sophisticate]

You think too much and I can tell it gets in the way of you finding happiness.

I was once told to rely a little more on my appearance and stop with the Socratic questioning.

My mind:

 

[Shimbiris]

I was once told to rely a little more on my appearance and stop with the Socratic questioning.

My mind:

I used to be the male version of you. Incredibly picky. I regretted it and though I faced some hardships as a result, I never once regretted being a little more open and just giving people I otherwise wouldn't a chance.