Has someone's narcissism affected your life?

[BlackManActivist]

How did you deal with it?

I had a narcissist enter my life years ago and I couldn't escape from the situation. It was a teacher at a boarding school. I am still affected by it and think about it everyday. I don't think I can ever get over it until I die. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

[Basra]

My best friend.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

No

 

[The alchemist]

Superficially, outside my personal life. They got dealt with.

 

[Sophisticate]

They haven't affected my life.

When dealing with narcissists, especially pathological ones, document everything. Their propensity to gaslight and manipulation cannot be understated. Do not take anything they say personally. It is not about you. They can change their target, which can have a similar negative impact elsewhere. What they reap is what they will sow eventually. If not now, then likely at some point. Be grateful if you do not have a close relationship with them.

 

[Moon-]

yupp i would always second guess myself around them not be comfortable i get sad when i think of it.

what did the teacher do, did they target you specifically or the whole class.

 

[BlackManActivist]

yupp i would always second guess myself around them not be comfortable i get sad when i think of it.

what did the teacher do, did they target you specifically or the whole class.

Targeted people individually one-on-one, but acted like an angel around others. That person wasn't well liked in general though. A few people have told me about their experience but I can't speak to what others experienced. Gaslighting, lying to me and my parents about things that didn't happen, acting like they were wronged, and even in one case having a close to crying face. I make dua to Allah swt to not have me deal with another narcissist again. Narcissists are evil

 

[Lightshow]

Yes, a close family member (elder) of mine is a narcissist. In the end it was just easier to minimize contact.

 

[daljirkadahsoon]

How did you deal with it?

I had a narcissist enter my life years ago and I couldn't escape from the situation. It was a teacher at a boarding school. I am still affected by it and think about it everyday. I don't think I can ever get over it until I die. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Flee. There is no other way to deal with it

 

[7Rinx]

Yes, a close family member (elder) of mine is a narcissist. In the end it was just easier to minimize contact.

I did the exact same thing. This elderly woman in my family was known to start rumors, ruin marriages, tell others how to live their lives, criticize people for being broke. She herself was divorced several times, had no children & also only lived off of money from the family members that she berated. She is also obese but criticizes people for being fat, she praises herself like the smartest, best dressed, funniest person. She compares everyone else to her saying that people are weak and should imitate her to be more successful. She only compliments people who grovel to her and never call her out on her nonsense. She is always right & perfect, everyone else is always deeply flawed. People knew she was a negative force in their lives but put up with her because she is old & they don’t want to be accused of severing family ties.

I had enough of her drama and slowly phased her out of my life & now I don’t call her & she doesn’t call me. She still tries to get details about my personal life from other family members but they have no info for her lol so she tries to get them to guilt trip me into calling her but I just tell them I have nothing against her and we both have each others numbers should we need to call & just leave it at that. One of the best decisions I’ve made.

 

[Lightshow]

I did the exact same thing. This elderly woman in my family was known to start rumors, ruin marriages, tell others how to live their lives, criticize people for being broke. She herself was divorced several times, had no children & also only lived off of money from the family members that she berated. She is also obese but criticizes people for being fat, she praises herself like the smartest, best dressed, funniest person. She compares everyone else to her saying that people are weak and should imitate her to be more successful. She only compliments people who grovel to her and never call her out on her nonsense. She is always right & perfect, everyone else is always deeply flawed. People knew she was a negative force in their lives but put up with her because she is old & they don’t want to be accused of severing family ties.

I had enough of her drama and slowly phased her out of my life & now I don’t call her & she doesn’t call me. She still tries to get details about my personal life from other family members but they have no info for her lol so she tries to get them to guilt trip me into calling her but I just tell them I have nothing against her and we both have each others numbers should we need to call & just leave it at that. One of the best decisions I’ve made.

We all have to walk on eggshells around this person in my family. If he senses the slightest defiance to his constant tirades you become his new target for the day. It was a weird dynamic, some days it would be great and he would turn on the charisma and charm. Whenever he went into one of his terrible moods he would still expect an apology from you even though he was the one instigating the attack. All because of the elder family member dynamic that he milks to no end.

I finally just had enough of the negativity, it was draining too draining and causing me to go into depression. Of course he tried the tactic of using family members to rebuild our relationship. Look up the term "flying monkeys" and how narcissists exploit family and friends.

Even writing about this honestly gives me an uneasy feeling. That is how much grief this caused me.

 

[Gojo Satoru]

Too many narcissists running amok in the somali community. Especially from the older gen

 

[CABDULWALI XASAN.]

narcissistic people are lethal, absolutely no regard for others in multiple aspects

 

[Basra]

Somali and narcissisms go hand in hand. Its like they define narcissist!

 

[Haji baris🍛💯]

My best friend.

I'm convinced your a bot

 

[Lightshow]

Too many narcissists running amok in the somali community. Especially from the older gen

They are very present among the younger generations. Lets not kid ourselves.

 

[7Rinx]

We all have to walk on eggshells around this person in my family. If he senses the slightest defiance to his constant tirades you become his new target for the day. It was a weird dynamic, some days it would be great and he would turn on the charisma and charm. Whenever he went into one of his terrible moods he would still expect an apology from you even though he was the one instigating the attack. All because of the elder family member dynamic that he milks to no end.

I finally just had enough of the negativity, it was draining too draining and causing me to go into depression. Of course he tried the tactic of using family members to rebuild our relationship. Look up the term "flying monkeys" and how narcissists exploit family and friends.

Even writing about this honestly gives me an uneasy feeling. That is how much grief this caused me.

You did the best thing by distancing yourself from this person. Reading this is exactly how the elderly woman in my family is too it’s actually amazing how much narcissistic Somali elders have in common. I held on to the relationship for too long because of family allegiance & just as you described she had a good days. When she had her good days she was charming, funny and at times she would even encourage you and boost your self esteem. I think narcissists intentionally do this from time to time to keep you going & make you think cutting them off is un-justified because they have some good moments/qualities but it’s all a rouse. 85% terrorizing behavior can’t be negated by 15% good.

I finally realized this woman was a master manipulator, a puppeteer of human emotions. She knew that if she had no redeeming qualities or core memories with people they would completely abandon her however she wasn’t willing to abandon her mean spirited agenda.

I used to feel like you, but after I distanced myself from this person without letting my family make me feel bad for it, a couple people told me in private how she caused problems in their marriage & friendships. This gave me all the assurance I needed that she wasn’t even worth thinking about or doubting myself for cutting of a blood relation. There is no reasoning with people like this, anything you say to them will be spun to make you look bad. I like that our culture respects elders and is family oriented but I will not risk my mental health to kowtow to a narcissist.

I have never heard of this “flying-monkeys”, just looked it up & that’s exactly her posse lol. She’s the queen bee of their hive & their only existence in a social context is the relevancy she grants them. I thankfully have limited to no interaction with these people, I avoid them too. Thankfully I have other people in my immediate family who don’t socially interact with her followers or are ok with me not being around her & they themselves maintain a comfortable distance. I feel for anyone who has a person like this who lives in their home or who they have to see on a regular basis.

 

[Basra]

I'm convinced your a bot

I am convinced u r sexy beyond imaginable!