Would you Stay Married to Your Spouse for the Sake of Your Children?

[Manafesto]

First of all I apologize in advance, this is not my typical opinionated rant, it is about of two best friends who recently got divorced,I'm genuinely curious what your thoughts are on this.

How many times have you heard this? People date, they "fall in love", they're so in love they get married, then they have kids. Suddenly, it's all about the children. How many people have said "the only reason I stayed was for the kids" ? It's like offspring are more important than the people who fell in love and married.

How many marriages fall apart because of this I wonder? When push comes to shove many people choose their kids over their spouse. They love their kids MORE than the person they fell in love with?

Or is it simply genetics, what I like to call "the monkey" at work? So to a lot of people love is simply a means to an end. If someone loves you, then you marry them and have kids with them, because most likely they'll support the children, even if you stop loving them. Because of course, it's always about the children. f*ck the husband, f*ck the wife, f*ck their lives, f*ck their love, it's all about the children. For the children folks, for the children.

Why does marriage and having children seem to go hand in hand? You just found the love of your life, so why add a bunch of unknowns to the mix? I thought you loved the person, wanted "nobody but them" till death do you part. Then you want to add a bunch of children to it?

I wonder if more people would be happier if they never had children? I wonder if they would fall deeper in love with the person they marry, instead of with the upcoming children?

Lord knows I know how @Grigori Rasputin feels about this subject, what about the rest of you?

P.S. Before someone dumb comes along let me state that I am NOT NOT NOT saying not to love your kids. I'm asking why so many people feel more love for their kids, than their spouse?

 

[Ciyaalka Xaafada]

 

[Fratello]

Maybe because you can never lose love for your children which is not the case with your spouse

 

[Sumaaya]

@Manafesto Ilaahay gabadh wacan ha ku siiyo

Waxaan ad soo qortid han ka nasano

 

[inflorescence]

It's unnuanced to pit them both against each other. It's like one of these off the wall scenarios of "You have one gun and you can only shoot once, will you shoot your husband/wife or child???. no loopholes, don't shoot yourself"

Both are important and have their purpose. Putting one above the other is indirectly harming both in the long term.

The "stayed together for kids" type of people are in a hollow marriage, which their children will notice and thus you've set the stardard that marriage is by default: hollow. If you as a couple show love towards each other you're setting an example to the children of what a good marriage is supposed to be like.

The "spouse > everything" type of people will have their children feel resentful and emotionally neglected. To find love, they go elsewhere. It's more likely for your spouse to die before your kids so establish a bond with them too.

It's not Spouse vs offspring, it's spouse & offspring.

 

[Manafesto]

@Manafesto Ilaahay gabadh wacan ha ku siiyo❤

Waxaan ad soo qortid han ka nasano

Dee Walaalo, warku xagee buu kaa maraa? Agah, hadaad wax yar isku taxalujisid in aad akhrisid sadarka labaad ee waxa aan soo qoray waxaad garwaaqsan in aan aniga aysan arrintani I khuseeyn ee laba wiil OO saaxiibayday ah ay ku saabsan tahay, balse akhris nacaybka,dulqaad yarida iyo hubsiimo la'aantu waa lagugu yaqaanaaye, ee meeshaada ka sii wad huuno.

 

[Sumaaya]

Dee Walaalo, warku xagee buu kaa maraa? Agah, hadaad wax yar isku taxalujisid in aad akhrisid sadarka labaad ee waxa aan soo qoray waxaad garwaaqsan in aan aniga aysan arrintani I khuseeyn ee laba wiil OO saaxiibayday ah ay ku saabsan tahay, balse akhris nacaybka,dulqaad yarida iyo hubsiimo la'aantu waa lagugu yaqaanaaye, ee meeshaada ka sii wad huuno.

lol huuno, it’s still relationships related maaha?

 

[Manafesto]

It's unnuanced to pit them both against each other. It's like one of these off the wall scenarios of "You have one gun and you can only shoot once, will you shoot your husband/wife or child???. no loopholes, don't shoot yourself"

Both are important and have their purpose. Putting one above the other is indirectly harming both in the long term.

The "stayed together for kids" type of people are in a hollow marriage, which their children will notice and thus you've set the stardard that marriage is by default: hollow. If you as a couple show love towards each other you're setting an example to the children of what a good marriage is supposed to be like.

The "spouse > everything" type of people will have their children feel resentful and emotionally neglected. To find love, they go elsewhere. It's more likely for your spouse to die before your kids so establish a bond with them too.

It's not Spouse vs offspring, it's spouse & offspring.

I think it's more the "fall madly in love, get married, get children" and then your feelings cool of. Some people say that "true love" or if you really are meant for each other you find it out in 1-4years, because in that time your Euphoria feeling of being in love cools off and the deeper feelings come, or not.

Sadly most people rush into things, then just staying for the children, for feeling guilt(I would believe). I Io believe these people would be parted although not getting children for they where not meant for each other.

Maybe some are better of without children, but then again, there are things called birthcontrol/tying the ovaries/cutting the sperm etc which is of course Haraam.

 

[Zoobear]

Only Allah, my parents and my children receive my unconditional love.

 

[Distant1]

nah f*ck the kids

 

[Xaruun]

That’s some cadaan shit. They don’t know anything about how marriages should work.

 

[Desert Flower]

People who say they’re “staying for the kids” are weak. They’re staying for themselves because they don’t want to be alone, or can’t for a reason (ex: financial). They’re cowards because they use the kids as an excuse.

My answer: No, I won’t stay “for the kids.” If the marriage is no longer salvageable, I’m leaving and putting him on child support.

 

[Sakiin]

Man marriage isn’t all about this unrealistic notions of love and romance that is never ending.

In reality you get to know the girl, get married and have kids. In the beginning it’s all lovey dovey, it’s just you and her, and everything is new.

But when kids come things are different, but they are different in a deeper way.

Your kids are a sign of your love of one another, they are part of you and when you look at your wife you love her in a whole deeper way when you realise all the sacrifices she has made for you and your kids.

After the honeymoon phase you have to realise that you’re kinda building an institution. You’re building a new generation, a new household and that is what will make you patient even if the love isn’t all sparky and new like before.

Me personally my kids mean the world to me. It’s only after having kids that I realise they are the most valuable thing to a man in this world.

 

[reer]

People who say they’re “staying for the kids” are weak. They’re staying for themselves because they don’t want to be alone, or can’t for a reason (ex: financial). They’re cowards because they use the kids as an excuse.

My answer: No, I won’t stay “for the kids.” If the marriage is no longer salvageable, I’m leaving and putting him on child support.

alot of people say that but when a guy sees he will spend much less time with his kids after divorce or a woman sees the possibility of becoming a single mother they stay married for practicality

 

[Leeban]

People who say they’re “staying for the kids” are weak. They’re staying for themselves because they don’t want to be alone, or can’t for a reason (ex: financial). They’re cowards because they use the kids as an excuse.

My answer: No, I won’t stay “for the kids.” If the marriage is no longer salvageable, I’m leaving and putting him on child support.

This type of b i tch I hate

 

[Leeban]

I’m taking my kids, you can find a next nigga

 

[Leeban]

Looking for niggas to put on Child support who spent their lives since they can read on their education and craft, whilst you dilly dallied for a easy lick, women are parasitic

Where to find wealthy/affluent Somali guys?

Serious answers only. I'm trying to see something. Age range: 29-38 Gabdho so gaal and lets take notes! @Sophisticate @Gibiin-Udug @AishaBarri @Halimo Supremist @Chun Li @Nafiso Qalanjo

www.somalispot.com

 

[Abdisamad]

People who say they’re “staying for the kids” are weak. They’re staying for themselves because they don’t want to be alone, or can’t for a reason (ex: financial). They’re cowards because they use the kids as an excuse.

My answer: No, I won’t stay “for the kids.” If the marriage is no longer salvageable, I’m leaving and putting him on child support.

This
You can't stay in a dead relationship for kids sake.

 

[486th President]

“f*ck those kids” - Micheal Jordan

 

[Karim]

Staying for the kids?! So you would let your kids grow up in a toxic environment since most marriages turn sour when that attraction and love fades away?!. Believe me when I say this: sometimes divorce is the better option for the kids. Both parents should still be involved in their lives tho.