Would you judge a Somali person who doesn't hang out with Somali people?

[XalimosVeryOwn]

Why didnt your siblings acknowledge you as their own?

Honestly, I don't even understand. My parents told me that they struggled before having me, (im the middle child) and that I was blessed upon god to come here. Maybe that is one of the reasons why? I also am the calm and peaceful one, I barely get into drama of my siblings, and I am usually trustworthy to my parents for like important information (social security, passport, yk the rest). I don't talk to any of my siblings, but we make small talk here and there.

 

[XalimosVeryOwn]

That's good parents that cares about you mashAllah

Thank you, but I think every parent regardless of gender should be knowing who their children hang out with, making sure they do the chores around the house, and check up on them once in a while. I feel like our generation will be great parents since we are more informed on mental health and already experienced the western upbringing.

 

[XalimosVeryOwn]

I knew very well about most of the rest but the sexual abuse, abayo... Is it truly common in your experience?

I never got sexually abused, but some of my cousins did...I just added it in there because it is more common than you think for it to happen to Somali girls.

 

[مسافر]

already experienced the western upbringing.

the western influence strikes again

I didn't mean to write a whole essay about this, but Somali boys like you don't even understand how its like to be a woman.

Yh I'll never understand what's its like being a woman bc I ain't one alx (jk)
but I can acknowledge what you're going through, this is why I make an effort to have a good relationship with the womenfolks in my household.

However as more muslims move away from the Quran and Sunnah - the harder it will be for the muslim laywoman.

All you do is just go outside, your parents don't even care how long you stay out

That's not the case for me, it's not wise to take your experiences and generalise it. And ofc those who don't care should care, or they'll eventually regret not caring

while us females we have to be told what to do and where to go and if you come home at this time we will kick you out.

Maybe some somali parents do this, again we shouldn't take this as what generally happens. Kicking out a daughter is not what Islam teaches. And leads to more harm than kicking out a son for obvious reasons.

And to top it all off, your mom will most likely tell her friends/relatives every single embarrassing story about you

Not sure where you folks in America are getting your mums from, but I don't see that over here. This is also wrong I agree. I ask Allah to make our mothers the best mothers.

To finish off, the points about your parent's telling you to dress modestly, be wary of boys and get married has my absolute support. But when they say get married to push out kids then this is cultural and I don't support them. Islam and Culture don't mix.

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ رَبِّ ٱلْعَٰلَمِينَ‎​

 

[Invader]

As a somali man, you may not relate to this, but I want you to take a second.

Imagine yourself as a Somali Girl, and then growing up your mom/dad want you to start dressing more modestly "because then you don't have men attention", (mind you, your only like 6). Your also taught how to make food at a young age, and if you ask why, they would say "because when you get married you must cook for your husband". When you go to school/dugsi, your taught not to talk to the other gender "because it's not good to talk to boys." And then, sometimes some men will take your innocence for granted and you know, subhanallah do that horrible thing to you. And your a child, going to primary/elementary, and you don't even know how to count to 30.

Then, your getting into puberty, and your told to "wear bigger clothes, because men will try to get to you". And your like 13, going to middle school. And then, your also not told to be able to talk to the other gender, "because boys going through puberty have a wandering eye". Those uncles you remember as a kid? They will cat call on you now. Men will now cat call you on the streets.

Then, your finishing your studies and now your told to "get married" and "push out children". Your also told to not dress too tightly, wear loose fitting clothes, and if you ask? they will say "because it would be shameful for you to embarrass our family. think about our reputation. You try to bring up the trauma you had with a relative? Most likely your sister/mom/aunt will say "your lying" and "you want attention" and will probably kick you out or disown you. And, your always going to be blamed for what your younger sibling does, because your supposed to be a mentor for them.

When you get married, and have kids, 9/10 this cycle will restart and your most likely going to treat your daughter the same way because you were raised as this to be "normal".

I didn't mean to write a whole essay about this, but Somali boys like you don't even understand how its like to be a woman. All you do is just go outside, your parents don't even care how long you stay out, while us females we have to be told what to do and where to go and if you come home at this time we will kick you out. And to top it all off, your mom will most likely tell her friends/relatives every single embarrassing story about you. So next time you want to comment about our "trauma" make sure to think about this story I written for you. Because it happens a lot, to somali girls everywhere.

Sorry to break it to you but the wandering eye is true.I hang out with ajnabis and they fantasise about women and how they will have intercourse with them.

 

[Zoobear]

Is the grass greener on the other side?

You will be judged on every single thing in this world. From your appearance, speech, friends and etc.

I believe that hanging out just for the sake of it leads to problems. At least have a good or constructive reason for it.

 

[Epi]

I don’t become friends with someone just because they are somali.