Why would you move out before marriage? How are you going to help your family and do your duties as a man if you have to spend 60% of your wages on rent? That money can go to helping your hooyo. That is what you call a responsible grown behavior. I side eye any guy that moves out unless he is moving to another city or country for work. Imagine moving around the corner from your parents to do what exactly?
Why do white people move from the family when they're 18?
- Thread starter Wervelwind
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Why would you move out before marriage? How are you going to help your family and do your duties as a man if you have to spend 60% of your wages on rent? That money can go to helping your hooyo. That is what you call a responsible grown behavior. I side eye any guy that moves out unless he is moving to another city or country for work. Imagine moving around the corner from your parents to do what exactly?
I agree with you.
It's in the West that I learned basic life skills; cooking, cleaning, and working (even in minimum wage jobs).
I think as Somalis, we can also learn from others.
Today I saw a friend of mine, he's a restaurant owner and we were talking about the Chinese and their work ethic, their omnipresence everywhere on Earth.
And we came to the conclusion that the Chinese can adapt easily in whatever situation you set them in.
While they come from a Collectivist Civilization (like the Somalis, they live with their parents, very late),
but the thing is that they are quite disciplined at a very young age; they do the work at home while supporting their home.
How many fobs do this back home? I can pick point when I went there, back in 2015, hearing the girls of our house, saying that "a man shouldn't be cooking! it's a woman's job", it sounded so absurd for them to see a young man helping them cook and clean.
We can greatly learn from the Westerners to learn how to rely on ourselves more (I'm applying to myself tbh. I have job prospects back home, and I'm planning to own a little land of my own, back home). We can't stay as ignorant as we are today, brushing away other ethnicities' lifestyles, saying it's "Gaalo life", while Somalis in the Horn suffer from unemployment and misery.
Arrogance - > it's an inferiority complex.
We can always "unlearn" our flaws.
It just depends on us.
But who will do the work?
It's funny to bring that as a man, the Lamagoodle has to provide for his parents.
While the parents already have jobs and more money than the Zoomer Somali
His "job" is to live for himself; that's why his parents worked for his upbringing.
Sxb, we don't all have parents who rely on Ceydh. They are already accomplished.
that still doesn't make sense though, even if you were individualistic you would know what's best for you. It's not like you have a choice between your family and living alone, you have a choice between living with your parents for free or living alone having to work 40 hours a week while dumping half the money you make with your minimum wage salary into rent and groceries.
People are fed this ideology that moving out is the height of independence and adulthood. Look at all the movies that show teens going off to college or moving alone to the big city as some sort of rite of passage into adulthood. Also, have you noticed, men that are still at home 23+ are looked at as losers in pop culture? Girls that stay home are seen as spoilt brats or not ambitious, although its worse for men.
You're looking at it from a common sense angle and I agree with you. If you truly cared about yourself you'd stay and save and only move out when you can afford to. However, when people are raised and programed a certain way, logic sometimes goes out the window.
The same cannot be said for Italians though. Despite being Western, they're every community and family orientated and culturally its normal for boys and girls to stay until they marry. So I definitely do think its because of individualism.
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its mostly about economy, im stacking my bread upyall ignored me. don't some somali parents leave their family in somalia to go to the west. cause that's what both my parents and most of my uncles did
how is leaving at 18 any different?
One big reason why cadaans wanna move out is to be able to fornicate in peace. It's hard to bring tings home for xaram activities in your aabo's house.
I stopped reading this shit after you said buying homes in their 20's and 30's. There's a whole generation being made fun of for moving back into their parents home because they can't afford anything.
Outside of inheritance and wealthy families bankrolling their kids none of this shit happens.
Most leave for economic reason Job and to provide their family i think they dont leave to west cuz they want independent and to live aloneyall ignored me. don't some somali parents leave their family in somalia to go to the west. cause that's what both my parents and most of my uncles did
how is leaving at 18 any different?
.tbf some somali mothers have a very strong "as long as your under my roof, my rules" policy which doesn't loosen with age. most somali mothers are pretty chill to their boys, but some micromanage to the point it cripples their offspring. in cases like those I can see how moving out would create a healthier, more adjusted man as opposed to norman bates
but some are ciyal suq and leave for haram too
Thats my point as well. If you move you won't have anything to send to your mom or back home. Selfish
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