Why do people these days not want friends who are honest with them and want them to do better?

[empressjamila]

I have a good friend who isn’t fasting for Ramadan this year. Her reasoning is that nobody else in her family is fasting this year (they’re not a very religious family from what I gather) and so she decided not to as well because she didn’t want to be the only one.

When I met up with her to hang out and she told me this I told her the honest truth as a friend, if you are a Muslim you are obliged to fast and if your family doesn’t want to that’s not a reason for you to not do so. And you don’t know if you’ll see another ramadan so why stop yourself from gaining blessings and reward?

She seemed lowkey offended by what I said but tried to hide it. I could tell though because her energy changed after I told her this. Ever since she’s been very distant and I don’t know if our friendship will be the same.

Honestly I’m not understanding why people are so sensitive these days. I think she wanted me to condone her behaviour and agree with her. But I care for my friends and I want them to do well both in this life and the next. If she wasn’t Muslim then not much I can say, but as she is Muslim I wanted to give her genuine advice. Should I have just kept it to myself? Idk

 

[Somali Saayid]

People want a yes man friend, hell nah. I would distance myself from one of those people, friends should be able to guide each other not blindly follow the trend or whatever the other is doing.

 

[Odious Delirium]

You did the right thing which was an obligation on you. You gave the advice in I assume a normal way if she feels a type of way about it and has changed then try reconciliation and explain why you said what you said if she isn't up for that or isn't receptive then you lost a friend move on. Deen is more important then appeasing people and being a yes man to sin.

 

[Deekhow]

I have a good friend who isn’t fasting for Ramadan this year. Her reasoning is that nobody else in her family is fasting this year (they’re not a very religious family from what I gather) and so she decided not to as well because she didn’t want to be the only one.

When I met up with her to hang out and she told me this I told her the honest truth as a friend, if you are a Muslim you are obliged to fast and if your family doesn’t want to that’s not a reason for you to not do so. And you don’t know if you’ll see another ramadan so why stop yourself from gaining blessings and reward?

She seemed lowkey offended by what I said but tried to hide it. I could tell though because her energy changed after I told her this. Ever since she’s been very distant and I don’t know if our friendship will be the same.

Honestly I’m not understanding why people are so sensitive these days. I think she wanted me to condone her behaviour and agree with her. But I care for my friends and I want them to do well both in this life and the next. If she wasn’t Muslim then not much I can say, but as she is Muslim I wanted to give her genuine advice. Should I have just kept it to myself? Idk

It is an obligation upon you to do it. Now you did your part and whatever your friend does with your advice is upto them. Always stick to the right path, one day they will realize how helpful you were with your advice.

 

[Fobnimo Till I Dhimo]

You ain't wrong in the slightest.Close friends will be enemies to each other on that day(day of judgement), except for the righteous

 

[Keep it a boqol]

May Allah reward you for trying to advise a fellow Muslim. We live in a world where even Muslims want fellow Muslims to support their unislamic behaviour.

She wanted an excuse and you told her the truth

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Not saying you're it but there are irreligious people who get annoyed by other people who are just religious on Ramadan but not the other months of the year and preach to them on Ramadan. I knew a guy who engaged in hookup culture (he had a body count of like 500-1000) and acted like a total gaal but was really religious during Ramadan but then went to the club during Eid if it fell on a weekend. It left a bad taste in his friends' mouth who he was preaching to (they weren't really religious but did not do what he did). Again, not saying you're like this but it's possible that your friend noticed a 180 in religiosity. Is this the case?

As for your general question on why people don't like it when you're honest with them, there has been a sharp decline in accountability these days. People are being lied to now. Its OK to be obese, it's OK to think you're special, it's OK to do poorly in school because you're Black and it's not your fault, it's OK to steal because you're poor. People have been brainwashed by leftist ideology so it's no wonder there's no more accountability

 

[Keep it a boqol]

Not saying you're it but there are irreligious people who get annoyed by other people who are just religious on Ramadan but not the other months of the year and preach to them on Ramadan. I knew a guy who engaged in hookup culture (he had a body count of like 500-1000) and acted like a total gaal but was really religious during Ramadan but then went to the club during Eid if it fell on a weekend. It left a bad taste in his friends' mouth who he was preaching to (they weren't really religious but did not do what he did). Again, not saying you're like this but it's possible that your friend noticed a 180 in religiosity. Is this the case?

As for your general question on why people don't like it when you're honest with them, there has been a sharp decline in accountability these days. People are being lied to now. Its OK to be obese, it's OK to think you're special, it's OK to do poorly in school because you're Black and it's not your fault, it's OK to steal because you're poor. People have been brainwashed by leftist ideology so it's no wonder there's no more accountability

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[empressjamila]

Not saying you're it but there are irreligious people who get annoyed by other people who are just religious on Ramadan but not the other months of the year and preach to them on Ramadan. I knew a guy who engaged in hookup culture (he had a body count of like 500-1000) and acted like a total gaal but was really religious during Ramadan but then went to the club during Eid if it fell on a weekend. It left a bad taste in his friends' mouth who he was preaching to (they weren't really religious but did not do what he did). Again, not saying you're like this but it's possible that your friend noticed a 180 in religiosity. Is this the case?

As for your general question on why people don't like it when you're honest with them, there has been a sharp decline in accountability these days. People are being lied to now. Its OK to be obese, it's OK to think you're special, it's OK to do poorly in school because you're Black and it's not your fault, it's OK to steal because you're poor. People have been brainwashed by leftist ideology so it's no wonder there's no more accountability

I’m not perfect but I try my best and stay away from major sins. I’m not a hypocrite that moves like a complete gaal outside Ramadan and then switches up just for the month.
And besides Ramadan is a time of increased religiosity so someone doing more ibadah and staying away from sin during the month is not a bad thing, a lot of times Ramadan is the turning point for people to become better Muslims and maintain good habits.

I just got disappointed in her throwing the month away for something so petty as her family not fasting so I felt compelled to try to change her mind. But she’s def the “follower” type (for ex she’s drank alcohol before with her non Muslim friends just because they were drinking too) so maybe it’s for the best that we aren’t friends anymore. I don’t want that kind of sheep-like energy around me esp as I get older

 

[Basra]

I have a good friend who isn’t fasting for Ramadan this year. Her reasoning is that nobody else in her family is fasting this year (they’re not a very religious family from what I gather) and so she decided not to as well because she didn’t want to be the only one.

When I met up with her to hang out and she told me this I told her the honest truth as a friend, if you are a Muslim you are obliged to fast and if your family doesn’t want to that’s not a reason for you to not do so. And you don’t know if you’ll see another ramadan so why stop yourself from gaining blessings and reward?

She seemed lowkey offended by what I said but tried to hide it. I could tell though because her energy changed after I told her this. Ever since she’s been very distant and I don’t know if our friendship will be the same.

Honestly I’m not understanding why people are so sensitive these days. I think she wanted me to condone her behaviour and agree with her. But I care for my friends and I want them to do well both in this life and the next. If she wasn’t Muslim then not much I can say, but as she is Muslim I wanted to give her genuine advice. Should I have just kept it to myself? Idk

Just mention it once and not in a judgy way. Actually we are not supposed to be 'friends' with people who do not pray. Periodt

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

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I think we're seeing widespread pushback. Cadaans are dissing trannies at shaqo and people with pronouns on their resumes are not being hired. But I am also witnessing a rise in anti-Asian comments too. Life is going back to normal and we can speak our minds.

 

[World]

I have a good friend who isn’t fasting for Ramadan this year. Her reasoning is that nobody else in her family is fasting this year (they’re not a very religious family from what I gather) and so she decided not to as well because she didn’t want to be the only one.

When I met up with her to hang out and she told me this I told her the honest truth as a friend, if you are a Muslim you are obliged to fast and if your family doesn’t want to that’s not a reason for you to not do so. And you don’t know if you’ll see another ramadan so why stop yourself from gaining blessings and reward?

She seemed lowkey offended by what I said but tried to hide it. I could tell though because her energy changed after I told her this. Ever since she’s been very distant and I don’t know if our friendship will be the same.

Honestly I’m not understanding why people are so sensitive these days. I think she wanted me to condone her behaviour and agree with her. But I care for my friends and I want them to do well both in this life and the next. If she wasn’t Muslim then not much I can say, but as she is Muslim I wanted to give her genuine advice. Should I have just kept it to myself? Idk

if you broke your friendship over that

you might as well have roasted and attacked her harder instead of giving her a modest answer

 

[empressjamila]

if you broke your friendship over that

you might as well have roasted and attacked her harder instead of giving her a modest answer

I didn’t break the friendship over simply over her not fasting, but if her reaction to genuine advice coming from a good place is to distance herself bc it’s not something she wants to hear then no I don’t really want to be friends with someone like that. I want a friend who I can be real with and who can be real with me. Cause otherwise what’s the point of having friends if you can’t hold each other accountable?

 

[JackieBurkhart]

I didn’t break the friendship over simply over her not fasting, but if her reaction to genuine advice coming from a good place is to distance herself bc it’s not something she wants to hear then no I don’t really want to be friends with someone like that. I want a friend who I can be real with and who can be real with me. Cause otherwise what’s the point of having friends if you can’t hold each other accountable?

I'm going to say something no one else has mentioned, it's possible she didn't want your advice. Sometimes people want someone to listen and not give advice. Now obviously, as a Muslim you're obligated to give her advice, but if this really matters, tell her not to mention topics around you that pertain to Muslim things as you're obligated to give her advice.

Otherwise, you let her know you won't bring it up. You can just ignore it. Neither do I think she wanted you to condone her. More or so ignore it, I guess. And if someone's not very religious, let them be. There's not much you can do.

 

[Basra]

I think we're seeing widespread pushback. Cadaans are dissing trannies at shaqo and people with pronouns on their resumes are not being hired. But I am also witnessing a rise in anti-Asian comments too. Life is going back to normal and we can speak our minds.

so does it mean "Mitchell" at work will go back to Michael? Well done republicans. No more awkwardness.

 

[TekNiKo]

I have a good friend who isn’t fasting for Ramadan this year. Her reasoning is that nobody else in her family is fasting this year (they’re not a very religious family from what I gather) and so she decided not to as well because she didn’t want to be the only one.

When I met up with her to hang out and she told me this I told her the honest truth as a friend, if you are a Muslim you are obliged to fast and if your family doesn’t want to that’s not a reason for you to not do so. And you don’t know if you’ll see another ramadan so why stop yourself from gaining blessings and reward?

She seemed lowkey offended by what I said but tried to hide it. I could tell though because her energy changed after I told her this. Ever since she’s been very distant and I don’t know if our friendship will be the same.

Honestly I’m not understanding why people are so sensitive these days. I think she wanted me to condone her behaviour and agree with her. But I care for my friends and I want them to do well both in this life and the next. If she wasn’t Muslim then not much I can say, but as she is Muslim I wanted to give her genuine advice. Should I have just kept it to myself? Idk

Did you advise her in a kind private way? Or did you humiliate her in front of her friends?