What's the point of marriage if your wife works full time as well

[Wervelwind]

Why marry then? To both come home tired to a house that needs cleaning and no food ready? I'd be embarrassed to have my children be raised by a daycare instead of a Mother. SMH

 

[486th President]

Why marry then? To both come home tired to a house that needs cleaning and no food ready? I'd be embarrassed to have my children be raised by a daycare instead of a Mother. SMH

Some people don’t know how to raise a child or know when is the perfect time

just because you want kids doesn’t you mean you should have them not everyone’s fit for the job

 

[Bronco]

If you marry the right woman: happiness, children and wealth. Some women honestly make your life better while others break your back. YMMV

That said, hard pass on rolling my sleeves up to cook after work and chucking my kids in a day care.

 

[Wervelwind]

Some women honestly make your life better while others break your back. YMMV

How would you know when you have the right woman? With some people, you never know their true character until it's too late (especially because dating is haram so you know her less)

 

[Villainess]

How would you know when you have the right woman? With some people, you never know their true character until it's too late (especially because dating is haram so you know her less)

Allah has written down who you are meant for, no worries

 

[Manafesto]

Marriage mostly never ends up in divorce if the wife is stay home mom and the husband is the breadwinner.

I rather not marry at all if I can't provide for my wife and kids and take care of the bills, all I want her is to get pregnant,have the baby and get pregnant again untill she can't have kids no more, a machine that pops kids for me and prolongs my legacy will be the purpose of her life

 

[Capone]

I never understood why some women who are married to financially stable men want to work. Your husband will get the bandz for you and that money he makes will belong to you as well. It's like they want to put an extra burden on their shoulder.

 

[Bronco]

How would you know when you have the right woman? With some people, you never know their true character until it's too late (especially because dating is haram so you know her less)

There is no fool proof way to know, but there are indicators. The chance of you marrying the wrong woman is always present. Lots of good people marry awful individuals, but that doesn't detract from the collective benefit from marriage.

Just marry someone that shares your vision and isn't selfish, and you're ahead of the odds will fall in your favour.

 

[Wervelwind]

I never understood why some women who are married to financially stable men want to work. Your husband will get the bandz for you and that money he makes will belong to you as well. It's like they want to put an extra burden on their shoulder.

Maybe they're scared that if the man has all the money they're powerless

 

[Alluring]

I never understood why some women who are married to financially stable men want to work. Your husband will get the bandz for you and that money he makes will belong to you as well. It's like they want to put an extra burden on their shoulder.

For some, it gets boring continuously cooking and cleaning. Their life revolves around their home and that can get boring quick. Many worked hard at school and want to do something with the years and money they put in learning. Also, it's not wise to depend 100% on someone else because you never know what could happen.

For others, staying home is their dream-life and they love it. Just depends on the person and their differing wants and needs.

 

[Joliemademoiselle]

wallahi if women aren't doing a meaningful work like nurse or any other work like that. they should stay at home and raise their children instead of gaalo doing it.
if they are bored but I don't think you can be if you take care of your children, the house, learn the deen full time wallahi.

But if they are bored at least work part-time when your kids are grown enough.

 

[Capone]

Maybe they're scared that if the man has all the money they're powerless

Good point.

 

[kickz]

I agree but you should make sure you are getting paid well so 2 incomes isn’t necessary

 

[AbdiS]

A better question would be: "What's the point of marriage if your wife can't cook bariis....?"

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[Desert Flower]

How would you know when you have the right woman? With some people, you never know their true character until it's too late (especially because dating is haram so you know her less)

Be objective, and observe. Pay attention to the small things: how does she talk to you? How does she treat you? Is she intelligent? Kind? Can carry a conversation? Empathetic? These are things you can find out if you talk + pay close attention and look for red flags. If she's selfish and uncaring, you can know pretty quickly.

Edit: A woman who cares about you is trying to take her time and see if you two are a match. If she's coming off anxious, clingy or desperate, it may be that she just wants you to cuff her so that she can say she is married. If you feel that the relationship is going too fast, I'd reconsider and re-evaluate the situation.

There is no fool proof way to know, but there are indicators. The chance of you marrying the wrong woman is always present. Lots of good people marry awful individuals, but that doesn't detract from the collective benefit from marriage.

Just marry someone that shares your vision and isn't selfish, and you're ahead of the odds will fall in your favour.

Good point. Adding to that, someone you enjoy spending time with. You don't want to be that couple that's been married for 10 years and only talk about the kids and the weather (I've seen that, and it sucks).

 

[Desert Flower]

wallahi if women aren't doing a meaningful work like nurse or any other work like that. they should stay at home and raise their children instead of gaalo doing it.
if they are bored but I don't think you can be if you take care of your children, the house, learn the deen full time wallahi.

But if they are bored at least work part-time when your kids are grown enough.

Not every woman is the same. Everything is not black and white. You can still raise your children and work. Some women need fulfilment outside of their children, and that's perfectly normal. If hooyo is happy, the kids and family are happy.

 

[Joliemademoiselle]

Not every woman is the same. Everything is not black and white. You can still raise your children and work. Some women need fulfilment outside of their children, and that's perfectly normal. If hooyo is happy, the kids and family are happy.

sister, I can understand your point of view but I disagree.

When kids which are younger than 6 years stay in daycares with other people than you half of the day... you ain't rasing them to became Muslim children at least Islamically speaking.

you and I know that raising a child is not only feeding, dressing, putting them in an Islamic school and western school but it is a complex, full-time job that we have to be committed to it mother and father together until at least they are 10 years.

Raising them Islamically is their right upon you and every parent will be asked...
we have to be extra careful in this western society.

I want to say more but with my limited English is hard to explain further, hope you get my point.

I am not against women looking for fulfilment in a halal way, but we have to think carefully before having kids and taking on responsibilities if we are not committed to it.

 

[Basra]

Why marry then? To both come home tired to a house that needs cleaning and no food ready? I'd be embarrassed to have my children be raised by a daycare instead of a Mother. SMH

It seems home cooked food is your priority. Don't leave your hooyo home

 

[Sloane Ranger]

Why marry then? To both come home tired to a house that needs cleaning and no food ready? I'd be embarrassed to have my children be raised by a daycare instead of a Mother. SMH

If you don't want to be in that predicament you have two options:

1. Meal prep or takeaway.
2. Get yourself into a high paying job that allows your wife to quit her job and carry all the financial responsibilities.

 

[scarecrow]

Why marry then? To both come home tired to a house that needs cleaning and no food ready? I'd be embarrassed to have my children be raised by a daycare instead of a Mother. SMH

I think the current climate where it's hard to buy a home or move to a decent area for better schooling. One needs two good incomes to climb that social ladder.

So get yourself a educated smart woman unless you want a life dependent on social welfare and forever keeping your kids in a ghetto.

Things like cooking and cleaning are really not that difficult with good planning, prepping meals etc.