What Would You Do If You Found Out Your Wife Settled for You?

[Barni]

Would you leave or stay and come to terms with the fact that you weren't the one she wanted, but merely a replacement?

I know it’s a little late to ask this, but r u asking 4 urself? We not here to judge just be honest.

 

[Dualke]

His problem was going for a girl that qurux and not expecting a catch
Always marry down boys, don't think with your dick and you'll be fine

 

[Molotoff]

Some argue that women never setttle. Is there any truth to do this? That they always are on the hunt for better and to switch up. Contextual romance...

 

[El Nino]

I would remember the good ol' days of waasmo in the bedroom. View attachment 257467

Im crying real tears, eedo doesn’t hold back

 

[The alchemist]

You figure that kind of stuff right away.

I can't think of such a pathetic scenario for myself. If in an unrealistic setting, a woman I was with was fantasizing about another nigga, I would handle my business and she would be out of my life with the quickness.

 

[hinters]

She can go be with him.

 

[HiraanBorn]

Oooof nothing worse than being that second choice tbf you would realise those red flags during the talking stage as @HiraanBorn says. if you about it, you'll clock straight away that her heart yearns for another.

I haven't even spoken on this thread yet, when did I say this?

 

[Sophisticate]

Let us not pretend you don't keep back ups or contingencies on file. Saqajaans acting self-righteous merely because the shoe is on the other foot.

 

[Fobnimo Till I Dhimo]

I know it’s a little late to ask this, but r u asking 4 urself? We not here to judge just be honest.

Of course not, i'm genetically incapable of taking L's like dat

 

[Odious Delirium]

I haven't even spoken on this thread yet, when did I say this?

Lol I think he was referring to my post were I said that

 

[Odious Delirium]

Let us not pretend you don't keep back ups or contingencies on file. Saqajaans acting self-righteous merely because the shoe is on the other foot.

Nope we ain't hypocrites over here

 

[Yusuf Abdi Ali Rashid]

Nope we ain't hypocrites over here

speak for yourself

 

[Odious Delirium]

speak for yourself

Ok I ain't a hypocrite happy now wallalo?

 

[Yusuf Abdi Ali Rashid]

Ok I ain't a hypocrite happy now wallalo?

you calling me a hypocrite?

 

[Odious Delirium]

you calling me a hypocrite?

Why yes I am at your request obviously

 

[Sophisticate]

Nope we ain't hypocrites over here

Generally, people have a short list of prospects they are getting to know sometimes simultaneously. I never quite did this though I think it is wise so as to insulate yourself from over investment, the dreaded issue of oneitis and to help you stay rational. I don't think this is entirely nefarious.

Also, just because you like someone does not mean they like you to the same degree or vice versa. Or even like you enough for a real commitment (marriage). So, that can't be a number one no matter how good they look on paper. It's vital one sift between a real contender and pretender. It's best to go for someone who is more attentive and honest. Provided this person has something tangible to bring to the table in the interim. Some people will speak about castles in the sky that have yet to materialize which isn't substantive or enough. It's too ethereal and not bound in the present reality.

Some folks especially when they are infatuated with you are more keen on getting you to fit into their vision of the future they have in store yet never inquire about where you see yourself too. I consider that to be selfish and almost like you are seen as an extension. Generally, if someone never asks me about my short, medium and long-term goals I don't think I can consider them a real prospect. It's all sheeko la'an. Imagine someone who wants you to relocate yet doesn't realize the cost this will have on you considering you have your roots in a particular area and networks established there also. Alas, a lot of nimaan expect spousal relocation (for women only). In the rare case I would be okay with that happening it would probably be if they are ballin' and I see objective proof of that (via property taxes, assets/holdings and financial statements). Otherwise, I'd be skeptical.​

 

[empressjamila]

Who cares? If you think you’re the first or only person your wife or husband has ever talked to before marriage you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Most people have a romantic past. As long as the marriage is happy and you love each other dhib malahan

 

[Odious Delirium]

Generally, people have a short list of prospects they are getting to know sometimes simultaneously. I never quite did this though I think it is wise so as to insulate yourself from over investment, the dreaded issue of oneitis and to help you stay rational. I don't think this is entirely nefarious.

Also, just because you like someone does not mean they like you to the same degree or vice versa. Or even like you enough for a real commitment (marriage). So, that can't be a number one no matter how good they look on paper. It's best to go for someone who is more attentive and honest. Provided this person has something tangible to bring to the table in the interim. Some people will speak about castles in the sky that have yet to materialize which isn't substantive or enough. It's too ethereal and not bound in the present reality.

Some people especially when they are infatuated by you are more keen on getting you to fit into their vision of the future they have in store yet never inquire about where you see yourself too. I consider that to be selfish and almost like you are seen as an extension. Generally, if someone never asks me about my short, medium and long-term goals I don't think I can consider them a real prospect. It's all sheeko la'an. Imagine someone who wants you to relocate yet doesn't realize the cost this will have on you considering you have your roots in a particular area and networks established there also. Alas, a lot of nimaan expect spousal relocation (for women only). The only way that would ever happen is if they are ballin' and I see objective proof that (via property taxes, assets/holding and financial statements). Otherwise, I'd be skeptical.​

Oh I understand what your saying and the thing is I stay logical and sharp throughout my talking stages and I do pay attention to all those things and more. Most peoples issues is that they go into it with rose tinted glasses and only think selfishly and in the short term. Plus I'm rather blunt and to the point I tend not to beat around the Bush and remain attentive to what people say because everything can easily be found out in the talking stage if your not shy about it and are attentive and obviously stick to your principles and boundaries. Most people start to bend them or ignore red flags which is the issue.

As for prospects I don't have them lined up since I do talking stages one at a time but I know where to look for the next one rather easily so you could say I have prospects but that's based on if the individual I'm talking to isn't it.

I guess what I meant is that I don't talk to various people at the same time because I wouldn't personally entertain someone who is.

And your right on the relocation part

 

[Bundasliga]

It won't be a problem, because I settled aswell ...

 

[Waa dhamatay]

His problem was going for a girl that qurux and not expecting a catch
Always marry down boys, don't think with your dick and you'll be fine

Just marry down theory

Seriously though, less attractive women are the most likely to ‘settle’ because they can’t lock down Chad. A beautiful woman can get any guy she wants so settling is less likely unless she’s insecure that Chad will cheat on her