Getting draids inshallah
The life of Khalid Ibn Walid made sense to me as a kid. Fight for Allah and be granted a place in Heaven. What better way to live than be a warrior of Allah? Such simplicity.
It's not based in reality though. Even one of the greatest generals of our deen died in bed an old man.
There is so much sin I have to atone for in life. To live and ask sincere forgiveness from my creator takes more courage than fighting an external foe. Jihad means a struggle or fight against an enemy, but what if the enemy is your very own self?
Everywhere I go, there are people that have praised the graciousness and love of Allah. I take an Uber, I go to work, I call a family member, I converse with my best friend..... Strangers with little in common except a deep love for Him that created all. Bruv, it's like everywhere I turn, I'm smacked with the reality of who I really am in this universe.
Forgive me Allah. I've always lived a blessed life no matter where or what I've been through and all I've done is run away from your grace. I never understood why you always gave me so much.
Humbleness and gratitude are what I'm missing. These are the personal challenges you've tasked me to overcome. When one receives so much, can they bend and be gratuitous to He who has given him all? Because I read a few books, or experience a few things, or be gifted with some base intelligence, means I know more than my creator? Destruction of my ego is my personal challenge in life.
The sword of allah's challenge wasn't whether he could defeat Allah's enemy's but if he could accept dying being nothing more than another slave of Allah. To die bedridden after surviving a hundred battles..... His challenge was if he could be peaceful. What irony. A hundred battles, scars all over his body, don't look at what one has, but that which he lacks. What do you lack? Can you be ok with what you lack and still give gratitude to all that you have?
The biggest obstacle between you and your creator is always you. Your misjudgments, your ignorance, your unawareness.....My misjudgments, my ignorance, my unawareness. No matter how much you or I have transgressed against Allah, he's always there to give us love.
True unconditional love stems only from He who created you from mud. Not even the love of your mother can compare to his Love.
What do you lack, and are you okay overlooking that which you lack for all that you have instead? What other test is there other than this? In the Quran, Allah tests all with that which they believe as the most precious, given to them by He, to remind them that it was He who gave them that which they build their identity around.
What our creator doesn't give you is the test.