To you Western Xalimos, are you doing all the work while the men chill?

[Angelina]

Typical feminista, throwing all of the blame on the Somali guy without taking into account how he was raised and how the average Somali families function.

Let us get real: In traditional Somali households, it is a taboo for men to be in the kitchen, especially when able women in the house are around.

What is also taboo is for young men to move out of the house until they get married. The only exception is if they take a job outside the city where they family live.

So what you have is a grown up son sticking around in the house, where his mom won't let him near the kitchen. Now go ahead and blame him for how traditional households function.

I tell you what: Every feminist out there has mental issues. They can't add reason to their arguments. You can raise your son to whichever way you want, which is perfectly acceptable in your standards, but for goodness sake understand traditional families and how they function. It is one thing you've been preprogrammed in those gender studies courses by those anti-God atheist professors, but give it a rest in your painstaking attempts to impose those "values" to traditional families.

Yes walalo, so according to you having naxaaris for an older hooyo is Western and anti-God. We see it all don’t we? How about you understand the importance of motherhood and having mercy on your aging parents?

Its called basic compassion. When you see someone aging and older you help them. My father used to be strong and do all the heavy lifting. But now he’s older, I always take the shopping bags or whatever he has and stop him from doing anything heavy related. It doesn’t matter that he is a male and I’m a woman or that traditional conventions dictate that he should be doing that. Sometimes he also tries to stop me as a he can be bit prideful, but I insist as I care about his physical well-being.

The OP isn’t a Teen or early 20s with a youngish mother. He’s 30+ so his mother is probably retirement age. I understand that in Somali culture, it is seen as ceeb but that’s mostly when there are guests in the house, so in the scenario in which his friends are around, I don’t think it’s a biggie for her to make malawax as it’s probably her preference as she’d want him to entertain the male guests. However, in private when no one is around, he most definitely should insist and help regardless.

Blaming women for the actions of a grown man makes you look like you lack any sort of common sense and gumption. It’s equivalent to me watching my father lift heavy things because I’m a woman or expecting my aging father to work everyday instead of retiring him. It’s basic mercy an adult is meant to have for their parents and it’s times like this that you put conventions to the side.

It’s evident that you use traditionalism when it suits you, including religion. You didn’t care about traditionalism when you were inviting non Mahram women to your apartments but you now care when it means making your old hooyo slave away for you. It’s antics like that and your stark hypocrisy as to why I have issues with you.

 

[Angelina]

Thank you walaashey. Caadhi ma aho qofkaan. I knew I recognized this person’s mo after he called me that. Was his user name rorig(o) or something before ?

If I’m such a feminist, go ahead and stop following me on here. Thank you very much.

Yep, it’s him alright. Seriously seeing that exchange with you two irritated me. He calls me feminist all the time. It doesn’t bother me and it is to be expected as I do come for the guys here at times, so they’re going to view me as anti-male, but now he’s out here calling someone feminist for simply saying help your mother??. I highly doubt he’d be going on about traditionalism or coming for you if you said that us girls should help our aging fathers financially, despite provision being seen as a male domain. He’d agree.

 

[Angelina]

I don't care what I look like. But I don't want my mom to feel embarrassed by having a boy cooking with her in the kitchen when all the men are in the living room. I know this is a backwards way of thinking. When I went to the kitchen and saw her making the malawax and shaax, I got the feeling that she wanted me to stay in the living room

I get where you’re coming from. A lot of it is also because as a the man of the house, you’re meant to entertain the male guests, so it’s easier for her to make the malawax whilst you sit with the guests as leaving them alone is a tad bit seen as rude.

What matters walal is that in private you serve your mother and make life easier for her. Try and help her as much as possible and at times even show your appreciation by making her dinner ect. She’s older now and the least she deserves are kids who can give her peace and rest.

 

[Shimbiris]

I get where you’re coming from. A lot of it is also because as a the man of the house, you’re meant to entertain the male guests, so it’s easier for her to make the malawax whilst you sit with the guests as leaving them alone is a tad bit seen as rude.

What matters walal is that in private you serve your mother and make life easier for her. Try and help her as much as possible and at times even show your appreciation by making her dinner ect. She’s older now and the least she deserves are kids who can give her peace and rest.

I love to spoil the macantay when I can. Once I made her a nice bit of scrambled eggs but she noted it was a bit salty so I ate it for her and immediately made another less salty batch which she loved.

 

[Kalsoon]

Yep, it’s him alright. Seriously seeing that exchange with you two irritated me. He calls me feminist all the time. It doesn’t bother me and it is to be expected as I do come for the guys here at times, so they’re going to view me as anti-male, but now he’s out here calling someone feminist for simply saying help your mother??. I highly doubt he’d be going on about traditionalism or coming for you if you said that us girls should help our aging fathers financially, despite provision being seen as a male domain. He’d agree.

Maybe the brother misses those interactions these days lol. It’s quite sad (for him) to make this about feminism.

 

[Hamzza]

Roorigeg isn't for real. He's argumentative and loves to beef with everyone especially dumarka.

 

[Angelina]

I love to spoil the macantay when I can. Once I made her a nice bit of scrambled eggs but she noted it was a bit salty so I ate it for her and immediately made another less salty batch which she loved.

Lol, that’s sweet. May you spoil her for many years to come

Oh the privileges of man. I’ve been making food for my mum since I was 14. Being a girl means that as soon as you’re of an age to be able to cook, you’re expected to help out. Also, since society has changed, girls are also now expected to help financially as well.

Im not coming for you btw, just more thinking aloud. You’re one of my fav male posters here, so don’t take my point personally.

 

[Kalsoon]

I don't care what I look like. But I don't want my mom to feel embarrassed by having a boy cooking with her in the kitchen when all the men are in the living room. I know this is a backwards way of thinking. When I went to the kitchen and saw her making the malawax and shaax, I got the feeling that she wanted me to stay in the living room

Your mom cares about treating her guests well. That’s commendable runti. Next time, plan ahead when your friends are coming over. So, she won’t feel the need to go in the kitchen.

 

[Angelina]

Maybe the brother misses those interactions these days lol. It’s quite sad (for him) to make this about feminism.

Lol, I think he does. Poor guy was insulting me calling me the worst feminist who is trying to change the deen in another thread for saying that a polygamy clause is allowed in Islam. I means it’s standard knowledge that even most guys who don’t agree know that many scholars and madhabs believe it is acceptable. Roori is a tad dramatic you see. Only Allah knows why he gets under my skin at times , guys a walking comedy show.

 

[Man with a garuun]

You see it all. Now you’re calling women feminists for saying one should help their 50+ hooyo. Caasi waalidayn.

This is what happens when you make misogyny and sexism your bread and butter. Basic decency and respect for even one’s aging/old mother goes out of the window. Everything to do with respect for women is now translated as feminist in the minds of unhinged men. Mind you this is the same man that talks about running around with AA women and cadaans during his college days.

Where is the "misogyny" and "sexism" that you alluded to here? If anything, I was defending the 50 or so year old mother. I was explaining you and fellow weirdo feminists here that in radiational households, they won't allow young men to be in the kitchen with women, even their mahrams such as their moms and sisters.

Yes walalo, so according to you having naxaaris for an older hooyo is Western and anti-God. We see it all don’t we? How about you understand the importance of motherhood and having mercy on your aging parents?

Its called basic compassion. When you see someone aging and older you help them. My father used to be strong and do all the heavy lifting. But now he’s older, I always take the shopping bags or whatever he has and stop him from doing anything heavy related. It doesn’t matter that he is a male and I’m a woman or that traditional conventions dictate that he should be doing that. Sometimes he also tries to stop me as a he can be bit prideful, but I insist as I care about his physical well-being.

The OP isn’t a Teen or early 20s with a youngish mother. He’s 30+ so his mother is probably retirement age. I understand that in Somali culture, it is seen as ceeb but that’s mostly when there are guests in the house, so in the scenario in which his friends are around, I don’t think it’s a biggie for her to make malawax as it’s probably her preference as she’d want him to entertain the male guests. However, in private when no one is around, he most definitely should insist and help regardless.

You're really a bunch of a weird group of people. How do you know he is not willing to help his mom? Do you know he doesn't do shopping for his mom and his family? He's shown that he was concerned about his mother doing all of the cooking like malawax. He wants to help but he has a concern it may interfere in the traditions. He is a young man who has a concern for his family, he wants to help but at the same time he doesn't want to cross boundaries that could trigger his mom, so he asked for our opinion. What is wrong with that?

Blaming women for the actions of a grown man makes you look like you lack any sort of common sense and gumption. It’s equivalent to me watching my father lift heavy things because I’m a woman or expecting my aging father to work everyday instead of retiring him. It’s basic mercy an adult is meant to have for their parents and it’s times like this that you put conventions to the side.

And how does what you do for your father has a relevancy to this young man's situation?

It’s evident that you use traditionalism when it suits you, including religion. You didn’t care about traditionalism when you were inviting non Mahram women to your apartments but you now care when it means making your old hooyo slave away for you. It’s antics like that and your stark hypocrisy as to why I have issues with you.

Gee, you don't throw rocks when you're in a glass house. You bragged about going to West African parties and what you like about them is people don't sit down. Those are your words, not mine. I know many more damaging things that you stated. Your past is always with you. Nevertheless, that is irrelevant here. Let us stay on topic.

You and others who are going after the OP are really weird. The guy asked us for a simple advice and here you're all calling him whole kinds of names. Perhaps you all have a vendetta against young Somali men. It does really reveal underlying grudges you and your buddies have towards younger Somali guys, Does that mean you're all in a relationship with some ajnabi boys and you feel the young Somali guys diss you, therefore, this is your ways of getting back at them? Whatever the reason, it does indeed reveal something.

 

[Man with a garuun]

Roorigeg isn't for real. He's argumentative and loves to beef with everyone especially dumarka.

I am defending the young man who asked for an advice. Losers like you are emasculated men. All that the young man asked for was an advice. Then hell broke lose. Grown-up women have gone after him and all call him all sorts of names. Then cowards like you are trying to ridicule anyone who tells them it is wrong to attack the young man. Thank god, I am not an emasculated man like you and a few others here.

 

[Amber]

I used to, since I am the oldest and also because there was a bit of sexism in my family

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

I feel really sorry for the men everywhere who have masculine, non-traditional wives. What a terrible life. No sweetness and softness, only dhibato and madax xanuun.

 

[Hmohamed54]

I feel really sorry for the men everywhere who have masculine, non-traditional wives. What a terrible life. No sweetness and softness, only dhibato and madax xanuun.

Feminine ass thread