THE DATE FROM HELL.

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dr.leorio

death\emitter
It's been a long fruitful summer with lots of gains and joyous moments with family. Since I'm starting med school soon I wanted to share with ya'll the worst date I've ever been on. I call it "THE DATE FROM HELL". This date was with a Xalimo and was so bad I stopped dating all together for about a year and a half after. Now, before I got into my little spiel I want to let ya'll know I love Xalimos (even though you give me dhiig kar) and plan on marrying one but I feel this story must be shared for the unsuspecting Farax looking for a potential mate.

So I met this girl off Twirra (already a bad idea, I know) and we hit it off right away after I slid in those DMS like Santa Claus. :reallymaury:At first, she was great! We had a lot of things in common and I actually laughed at her jokes. Most girls in general aren't funny so this was a surprise to me. Not only that, she looked so XAAX from her pictures online so a brother's biological mating senses were tingling. To put icing on the cake, the girl was very local as she studied near the university I graduated from and was the same Qabil as I. A dream come true really. Even though she was a bit young I felt the need to go for it. Why not? Life's way to short anyway.

So after almost a week of chatting we agreed to meet up to grab something to eat. I was actually excited for once as I've dated mostly Ajinabis in my past since most Xalimos around my neck of the woods were either super miskeen/religious and didn't date or adopted the degenerate mathow culture and wanted a thug nigga aka Somali wannabe GANGISTAR. I'm neither of those things even though, Inshallah one day, I do plan on becoming more religious. Anyways, so lets fast forward to the date. Let's call the girl Xalimo to make thinks simple for me. We meet up at the local park and greeted each other. So here comes...


STRIKE #1: She looked literally like nothing like her photos! Not her twirra or FB pics. This Xalimo was @ least 30 pounds heavier wlahi! I was catfished beyond belief and was so upset. :mjcry:She looked pregnant tbh and wore yoga pants which exposed her unproportionate booty that did NOT LOOK GOOD.

Still the gentleman in me didn't wanna come off as an asshole so I smiled and hid my frustrations so well I almost fooled myself. Even though all my friends woulda dashed at that second I kept a poker face and continued on the date since I wanted to see if maybe she had a good personality? God I'm a dumbass:ivers: but anyway lets continue. So we take my car to get some Koren food and right away she starts talking about her day and blah blah blah. I nod and concentrate on the roads but I can't lie she really did have a bubbly personality. Only problem is my dick can't get hard to that shit. Literally 5min into use driving she pulls out a fricken zoot and asks if she can smoke it. I'm not gonna judge since I use to smoke them in highschool myself but already in my head I crossed the chick off for good. I told her that I didn't smoke anymore and we're close to the restaurant so there was no point. She seemed surprised since apparently I looked like "the stoner type" and kept pressuring me while saying stuff like, "once a pothead, always a pothead". When we park the car we didn't leave the car right away but talk for a few minutes. What she confided in me brings me to...

STRIKE #2: The chick is married! :damn:I literally zoned out for a few seconds after she told me. But apparently she's in the end of her relationship and is divorcing her "deadbeat husband" that she only married 6 months ago. The chick was 20 years old so I was not suspecting none of this drama walahi. I just wanted a nice normal Xalimo:jcoleno:The next thoughts in my head were, "what did I do to deserve this" and "maybe God is telling me stop dating since it's haram" and the list goes on. Apparently her husband is also her cousin and a coke addict. He doesn't pray or anything and right away started to compare the both of us. Saying shyt like "you're so much charming than him" and that "I didn't know he was like that when I married him".

*Internal Farax thoughts* ***** THATS YOUR FUCKIN COUSIN HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW BEFORE YOU MARRIED HIM?!?!

To be honest at that point I was more worried about this Xalimo's cokehead husband gunning me down for dating his wife more than anything else. I didn't even know what to say but ask more questions like "I thought you were a student?" and "How come you didn't tell me this beforehand?" She said she didn't want to reveal her past until we met in person and that she was currently taking a hiatus from school. I was livid at that point but she was so embarrassed and on the verge of tears. I couldn't just leave her there in the parking lot miles away from the park we originally met at. Part of me really wanted too but another part of me emphasized with her and wanted to cheer her up. f*ck my conscious. So anyway I act like its no big deal and say lets get some food to eat to clear out heads.


Fast forward, we're in the restaurant and I order what I usually get. I've taken a few girls to this Korean spot so I knew what I wanted. The girl looked at the menu for damn near 20 minutes and ordered something she never had before laughing saying she wanted to try something new. Continually throughout the date she keeps saying shes nervous and kept asking me questions like a goddamn job interview. After answering all her questions she keeps laughing jokingly, "you're too good to be true walahi, do you have a baby momma or something your not telling me about?" That rubbed me the wrong way since I wasn't the one lying about being single. I start asking her questions about her crazy life and what happened to get her to this point. Annnd...

STRIKE #3: The girl could not stop talking shyt about her husband. Not only that, she was talking crap about her mother too! She blamed her hooya for setting her up with that failed marriage and I didn't know whether to agree, argue with her, or shut the f*ck up. I'm a mama's boy @ heat so any Somali talking bad about their own mother is not even Somali in my eyes. Yes I know some parents are trash but either way, you're supposed to respect them regardless. At the very least don't backbite about them to a random stranger you're going on a first date with. Jeezzzussss

Everyone knows after 3 strikes, your out but there's more! I eeventually ask her why she wasn't eating the food she ordered and she responded, "I'm a picky eater".:fredo: f*ck already?

STRIKE 4: The fat *** didn't eat more than 3 bites outta her 25 dollar meal!! (please forgive my language in advance) After her ugly ass pushed the food aside she then talked about her SJW beliefs and that's what she plans on studying when she gets back to school. f*ck f*ck f*ck. NO WONDER SHE WAS TERRIBLE. She was a feminazi bakhti so it makes sense why she doesn't understand accountability. I don't care if this seems stupid. It's common fucking decency to eat the meal you ordered. Or at least pretend to try for godsakes!

So here I am, on a date with a married Xalimo, trying my best not to be an asshole and walking out. I was already at my limit. Every time this girl looked at me in the eye she would smile and compliment me and for some reason it made me even more mad. I felt duped, manipulated and catfished to the 90th degree. The only redeeming quality this girl had was her qabiil and even that didn't matter anymore. After the date was over she wanted to hang out and smoke together in her car (that's code for head and weed). The sun was starting ot set so I told her I had to pray maghrib (THANK YOU ALLAH!:rejoice:) I eventually drove the Xalimo home and as she walked to her call she smiled and said, "Call me!" I faked a smile, put my car in drive, and drove the f*ck off praying I never see this girl again. She did continue to text me the next day but right away I told her I wanted to be "friends". I thought she got the message I didn't wanna date her when she agreed but kept messaging me multiple times a day later on anyway(both on twirra and snap). The girl was obsessed with me for some reason. I blamed my big mouth when I was talking highly of myself when she threw those job interview questions at me. Maybe she thought she actually had a chance with me? Who knows. I reply to her messages maybe once or twice a day which is a lot slower compared to when we first started chatting. And...

STRIKE 5: Then she starts blows up my phone with lengthy paragraphs while I was at work! She was mad I wasn't responding to her messages quickly and said I wasn't shyt and that I'm just like her shitty husband. WTF. How did it even get to this? She said I changed and started acting different afterwards. How can you blame me women? Your fucken married and weird.

So...I blocked the *****. On all social media platforms. It felt so good walahi I'm not gonna lie. :siilaanyosmile:I've only been on dates with 1 other Xalimo besides her and she almost ruined it for me. I'm not the generalizing type so of course I won't blacklist all Xalimos for good but I learned a very valuable lesson my fellow Somalispotters. Don't be a fool and put these Xalimos on a pedestal like I did, they are sometimes worse than the "Ashy Abdis" they always seem to be complaining about. Make sure to get FBI type background checks before even considering dating anyone. I've told this story to all my friends and even my hooya lol My hooya laughed at me (as she should) and wouldn't let go of it for days. Now that school is starting I can't date anyway and will probably put finding a Xalimo on hold for half a decade. :gaasdrink: I wanted to share this with ya'll to have a laugh, learn something and even criticize how I handled the situation. Thanks for reading and sorry for the typos!


Your friendly wannabe doctor,

dr.leorio
 
okay I finally read your novella, keep first "dates" suuuper casual like grabbing coffee. That way if things don't work out, you can play dumb and tell them you thought they'd be a good friend/sibling figure :siilaanyolaugh:
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dr.leorio

death\emitter
okay I finally read your novella, keep first "dates" suuuper casual like grabbing coffee. That way if things don't work out, you can play dumb and tell them you thought they'd be a good friend/sibling figure :siilaanyolaugh:
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Oops my apologies, your avi threw me off. And you're right on the coffee bit. If there is a next time it'll be someplace where money isn't even involved.
That's what happens when you meet people from the internet irl:bell: sounds like an adventure tho :drakelaugh:

It was an emotional rollercoaster that I laugh about to this day. Would not recommend it tho :yacadiim:
 

NotMyL

"You are your best thing"
VIP
Problem with meeting people online, you never know what you are getting. Also who the hell picks up a stranger in their car? you should've met her somewhere.
 

dr.leorio

death\emitter
Problem with meeting people online, you never know what you are getting. Also who the hell picks up a stranger in their car? you should've met her somewhere.
The younger me lived a strange life of risk as the occasional adrenaline rush kept me pursuing unorthodox adventures. It's probably why I'm dedicating my life to cutting people open :noneck:

After this charade, the idea of arranged marriage is starting to make more sense now.
:liberaltears::liberaltears::liberaltears:
Nearly pissed my pants reading this
:pachah1:
 
Well, you had a really eventful day then...This read like a wattpad story though :ftw9nwa::ftw9nwa:
The moral of the story is: don't date.
 

dr.leorio

death\emitter
you are one patient mutha,
i am like you but i would have lost it at SJW.

id just walk away.
Haha, I can compete with the Dali Lama when it comes to patience although it can be a double edged sword at times.

Well, you had a really eventful day then...This read like a wattpad story though :ftw9nwa::ftw9nwa:
The moral of the story is: don't date.
Don't date, just spend your time on self improvement is the key!
 
That's too much reading for this summer, can someone break this down? Apparently he had a bad date as the title suggests
 
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