Terrible People
- Thread starter Baraf
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ironclad urchin
SHAAHSHAAHSHAAH.
what people
Baraf
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Family-Parents-Society
No one's good or bad. Some people just dgaf.
I envy them.
I envy them.
Relationships are a two way street, the only part you're responsible for is yourself. Regardless of them being your parents, you can only do so much.
Btw they probably don't know they're hurting you, maybe let them know how you feel when you're/they're not upset?
All I know is the world isn't black and white. It's a lot of gray. Growing up we're told that some things are good and some things are bad.
We're told that there's good guys and bad guys and that's that. But it's not like that at all. I think every person has some good in them and every person has some bad in them. Some have more of one than the other, but we all have both.
We're told that there's good guys and bad guys and that's that. But it's not like that at all. I think every person has some good in them and every person has some bad in them. Some have more of one than the other, but we all have both.
Baraf
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That's really good advice, but I don't have white parents. I've told my mom many times about how I feel, and she'd just laugh or just starts screaming and tell me to aamus, because I'm giving her a headache.
My dad doesn't seem to hear what I say unless I'm yelling. I legit try speaking to him wallahi, but he ignores me. We went out to get something from a store. Yesterday, I actually did try speaking to him but he usually ignores me-like straight up ignores me. Like he just nods his head, he doesn't even say a straight up 'yes' or 'no'.
I used to think they used to treat me like this because I was younger but I realize they don't give an f for me.
Honestly your parents are just people, most have no clue what they're doing. What seems as callous is probably just exhaustion and boredom with life. Just understand that your family is a test, btw theres not one person on earth w/o domestic problems. All you are required to do is be kind to your parents and inshallah you will move on and create your own life and will definitely have a new perspective about your relationship with them.
Cadaans have the same issues as the rest of us wallahi.
Also as far as evil, when you commit a sin your heart darkens which makes it easier to further push your evil boundaries. In a sense 'evil' people are a product of their evil actions.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, when the servant commits a sin a black spot appears upon his heart. If he abandons the sin, seeks forgiveness, and repents, then his heart will be polished. If he returns to the sin, the blackness will be increased until it overcomes his heart. It is the covering that Allah has mentioned: No, but on their hearts is a covering because of what they have earned.” (83:14)
I feel this immensely, we all have the capabilities to do anything really.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, when the servant commits a sin a black spot appears upon his heart. If he abandons the sin, seeks forgiveness, and repents, then his heart will be polished. If he returns to the sin, the blackness will be increased until it overcomes his heart. It is the covering that Allah has mentioned: No, but on their hearts is a covering because of what they have earned.” (83:14)
I feel this immensely, we all have the capabilities to do anything really.
ironclad urchin
SHAAHSHAAHSHAAH.
your dad reminds me of mine but i always chalked it up because he's sorta absentminded and he's like that with everyone.. i don't really have a real relationship with either of my parents, though my mom dotes on me as "the golden child". they still see me as a kid, and i feel like that wont change unless i have like my first child lool. i think this is just how somali families are like generally, there's no "closeness" or depth even though somali people are so tight-knit and social. it's like it cant go deeper than their role as your parents who provide for you, care for you, wish the best for you, etc etc. don't think it's because they don't care for you as a person and continue being good to them.
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Nucleus is right, you're parents are people. They probably have no idea that listening, actually listening is very helpful if you want to be there for your won kids. My parents have no idea what to do to help me when i actually need them and when i don't they give me all sorts of unwanted advice...
Maybe try talking to them again. Keep talking to them and tell them what you want/need them to do. If you have other people to talk to that could help. Baraf we are here for you too.
Maybe try talking to them again. Keep talking to them and tell them what you want/need them to do. If you have other people to talk to that could help. Baraf we are here for you too.
Hafez
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Being closer to Allah (SWT) will solve your problem. Wallahi I'm not kidding you. Do a lot of Dua, dhikr, seeking knowledge, good deeds, make righteous friends, etc.
Tie your happiness to Allah (SWT), not the creation of Allah (SWT). If your happiness is dependent on your fellow humans, they will disappoint you, a lot. I've noticed this one day when I decided to spend a whole day secluded thinking deeply at liido beach back when I was in Somalia a few summers ago.
I've also noticed that most of us are 'high on life' only because of technology. Without technology our lives feel completely different, it feels a lot more empty lol (and this is coming from someone who's friends with almost everyone).
Reality is different to what many of us think. I've learnt to accept reality.
Tie your happiness to Allah (SWT), not the creation of Allah (SWT). If your happiness is dependent on your fellow humans, they will disappoint you, a lot. I've noticed this one day when I decided to spend a whole day secluded thinking deeply at liido beach back when I was in Somalia a few summers ago.
I've also noticed that most of us are 'high on life' only because of technology. Without technology our lives feel completely different, it feels a lot more empty lol (and this is coming from someone who's friends with almost everyone).
Reality is different to what many of us think. I've learnt to accept reality.
Your dad probably works 12 hours shift which is quite different from old career back home he suffers from racism, islamophobia, relatives asking money back home your brothers, bills and more bills, competition from his Somali peers, health problems, marriage tension, tired need to relax simply that plus our culture of hiding our emotion but he loved more that things else, same with your mum life is tough for parents be easy on them.
Your mother sounds like mine but I see her actions more like tough love than anything besides she raised me for the most part since my Dad was working half the day and chewing khat with his friend the rest of the day. Even though shit was bad I didnt let it affect me
My tip to you talk about what issues bother you and be good to them cause they wont be here forever
Baraf
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I wish that was the case but I just stopped myself from writing a long ass passage, I won't be here in this world forever either and nor do I want to be in such a pitiful situation, they've been deemed worthless in helping me with anything and they don't need to since I'm an Adult. So I just need to find people in my life that are worthwhile.
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