Talking stage

[greenvegetables]

Currently halal courting a brother and masha'Allah it's going great. I like him he likes me my wali likes him We have another meeting tomorrow. What should we talk abou? I get shy and forget everything important lol although our talks are great.

 

[486th President]

Meeting? Talk about what the future might await for him and his plans for when he has enough money to settle down

 

[QueenofKings]

Wait weren’t you the one talking about being heart broken a week or two ago?

 

[greenvegetables]

Wait weren’t you the one talking about being heart broken a week or two ago?

It is what it is. This mehr ain't finna pay itself

 

[Karim]

It is what it is. This mehr ain't finna pay itself

How much is your Mehr?!

 

[QueenofKings]

It is what it is. This mehr ain't finna pay itself

Lol take it easy sis. It seemed like you were really into that guy. Just make sure you give yourself time to process your feeling and learn from your mistakes. Otherwise you’ll keep repeating the same mistakes and finding yourself with the same outcomes.

 

[greenvegetables]

How much is your Mehr?!

It was a jokie joke lol.

 

[greenvegetables]

Lol take it easy sis. It seemed like you were really into that guy. Just make sure you give yourself time to process your feeling and learn from your mistakes. Otherwise you’ll keep repeating the same mistakes and finding yourself with the same outcomes.

Idk how to describe this. I can't and won't ever be with my crush. I know that. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and have feelings for him again. But I mostly pray it away and focus on other things and only have feelings for him in cycles. Because of my current situation I feel that marriage is a necessity and I definitely am ready to make that transition.

 

[QueenofKings]

Idk how to describe this. I can't and won't ever be with my crush. I know that. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and have feelings for him again. But I mostly pray it away and focus on other things and only have feelings for him in cycles. Because of my current situation I feel that marriage is a necessity and I definitely am ready to make that transition.

Lordy, marriage is not a fix for getting over someone! Now of all times marriage is *not* a necessity and no you’re clearly *not* ready for it! Because you’re clearly hung up on a whole different guy. If you rush this, it is likely you will eventually feel like you settled or jumped to a quick fix. In the long run this will lead to dissatisfaction and resentment in your r’ship/marriage. Do not drag this man ( and maybe even kids) into your mess.

 

[Xaruun]

Idk how to describe this. I can't and won't ever be with my crush. I know that. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and have feelings for him again. But I mostly pray it away and focus on other things and only have feelings for him in cycles. Because of my current situation I feel that marriage is a necessity and I definitely am ready to make that transition.

What would you do if your crush had a sudden change of heart and wanted to be with you?

 

[0117]

I have a waiting meeting tomorrow too with her wali
jk

 

[greenvegetables]

Lordy, marriage is not a fix for getting over someone! Now of all times marriage is *not* a necessity and no you’re clearly *not* ready for it! Because you’re clearly hung up on a whole different guy. If you rush this, it is likely you will eventually feel like you settled or jumped to a quick fix. In the long run this will lead to dissatisfaction and resentment in your r’ship/marriage. Do not drag this man ( and maybe even kids) into your mess.

I'm not aiming to get married to "get over" someone. I said i have personal reasons for it and the merit far outweighs the cons. And at any rate I will never be with my crush, that won't change any day at any time. I have very short intervals where I miss him but most of the time I'm able to not think about him. I went a few months without caring until I just so happened to see him in person which caused the rant post.

What would you do if your crush had a sudden change of heart and wanted to be with you?

I wouldn't accept it. He's not Muslim so that's not even an option.

 

[Xaruun]

I'm not aiming to get married to "get over" someone. I said i have personal reasons for it and the merit far outweighs the cons. And at any rate I will never be with my crush, that won't change any day at any time. I have very short intervals where I miss him but most of the time I'm able to not think about him. I went a few months without caring until I just so happened to see him in person which caused the rant post.



I wouldn't accept it. He's not Muslim so that's not even an option.

Your future husband may find it a bit sus if you’re still thinking about your crush.

 

[greenvegetables]

Your future husband may find it a bit sus if you’re still thinking about your crush.

I think about this dude a few weeks out of the year and I honestly haven't thought about him since after that post when I did a bit of praying and reflection and soon met Mr. Green Vegetables

 

[greenvegetables]

Another update: We had the meeting alhamdulillah it went great my wali is pretty strict but said he likes him it was actually funny lol I was embarrassingly shy but masha'Allah we both really like each other I'm excited hehhe

 

[Alluring]

I am happy for you but I just don’t want you to feel like you need to settle because you can’t be with your crush. There is no need to rush, give your head a few months to breathe and get over the other guy. Inshallah, it all works out for you!

 

[Bernie Madoff]

Don’t do him dirty like that since you were talking about next nigga just last week

you really looking for rebound that bad huh

 

[greenvegetables]

I am happy for you but I just don’t want you to feel like you need to settle because you can’t be with your crush. There is no need to rush, give your head a few months to breathe and get over the other guy. Inshallah, it all works out for you!

Its been over a year. I haven't spoken to him in over a year. I saw him for the first time since before quarantine started last month when he was walking down the street and that just made me reflect on when we were friends. I'm unpacking it more and that era was very traumatic for me and I was hurt and confused and he was so kind to me. I mean it when I say no one has ever been kind to me in that way. I wasn't even physically attracted to him when we knew each other lol. Just one day he entered my life and here he was so friendly and understanding. If he pitied me or thought I was crazy he didn't let on. He just kept me company sometimes. Here I am ranting on anonymous forum again lol When my PTSD was really bad I had insomnia. I would go on runs at 3 am and he would ask me if I was OK and tell me to go back in lol. We would buy each other food and cook or just chill. He drove me places so I didn't have to walk. I want no reminders of that time period in my life so I disassociate from it but I occasionally do think about how much his support comforted me.

 

[Ibrahim hassan]

Is it @Mr Sufi ?

 

[Queen Ati]

Find out how he views women. Ask him who his female role models are or which women he admires- you will notice what kinda traits he admires in a woman which will be the same he wants in you. Finances- as in does he want you to pay the bills. Family- find out what you can about his family. Finances and family are the two things that pose problems. Here is a list of more things to ask

Here Are 53 Questions to Ask Your Potential Spouse | Amaliah

Even thinking about the process of getting married can seem daunting sometimes, there seems like there so much that needs to be understood and navigated. How do you determine whether someone is the right person for you or not? Sometimes asking the right questions gets us to a point where we can...

www.amaliah.com