Excerpt from Tariq Jameel’s speeches.
Despite one’s best effort in exhibiting good character, a human is after all human. There are bound to be disagreements, disputes and conflicts. Allah سبحانه وتعالى revealed one verse how to build a home:
“O you who have believed, indeed, among your spouses and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. ” (64: 14)
This indicates sometimes conflicts will happen. To think there shouldn’t be any disagreement at all in this world is absurd or impossible. It can be suppressed, hidden but cannot be completely eliminated. Place where there would be zero or not even slightest of disagreement is not in this world but in hereafter ie heaven.
When there is dispute, don’t add fuel to the fire. If the man or woman has done something wrong, man’s parents or woman’s parents did something wrong, generally these four cause issues. Elders in families should reconcile not agitate the issue.
Allah mentions for the conflicts that are bound to happen, do three things so your home is protected.
(1) “But if you pardon..” (64:14)
Arabic word here is in taʿfu “..you pardon..” (64:14) meaning to conceal, erase it. Finish it, don’t dwell on it and move on.
(2) “..Overlook” (64:14)
Arabic word here is watasfahu “..Overlook” (64:14) meaning to clean your heart over the matter. How will the heart be clean? By not talking about it again.
A person’s tongue can either build or destroy a home. Don’t keep talking and recollecting it, this exasperates the issue.
(3) “..Forgive” (64:14)
Arabic word here wataghfiru “..Forgive” (64:14). “Maghfirat” meaning this is not limited to just forgiveness, it encompasses to further be given something. When one prays “Allahum-maghfir lee (O Allah, forgive me)”, this is not limited to only forgiveness. What one is actually saying is “O Allah forgive me and grant me heaven”. In addition to forgiveness, one is asking to be granted something.
So first step is to erase, second clean it from your heart and third in addition to forgive, treat or provide a gift.
If you do all these three:
“..then indeed, Allāh is Forgiving and Merciful” (64:14)
Allah will forgive your sins. Only prayer and fasting is not a means of getting one’s sins forgiven. Removing disputes and reconciliation is means of Allah’s forgiveness.
Despite one’s best effort in exhibiting good character, a human is after all human. There are bound to be disagreements, disputes and conflicts. Allah سبحانه وتعالى revealed one verse how to build a home:
“O you who have believed, indeed, among your spouses and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. ” (64: 14)
This indicates sometimes conflicts will happen. To think there shouldn’t be any disagreement at all in this world is absurd or impossible. It can be suppressed, hidden but cannot be completely eliminated. Place where there would be zero or not even slightest of disagreement is not in this world but in hereafter ie heaven.
When there is dispute, don’t add fuel to the fire. If the man or woman has done something wrong, man’s parents or woman’s parents did something wrong, generally these four cause issues. Elders in families should reconcile not agitate the issue.
Allah mentions for the conflicts that are bound to happen, do three things so your home is protected.
(1) “But if you pardon..” (64:14)
Arabic word here is in taʿfu “..you pardon..” (64:14) meaning to conceal, erase it. Finish it, don’t dwell on it and move on.
(2) “..Overlook” (64:14)
Arabic word here is watasfahu “..Overlook” (64:14) meaning to clean your heart over the matter. How will the heart be clean? By not talking about it again.
A person’s tongue can either build or destroy a home. Don’t keep talking and recollecting it, this exasperates the issue.
(3) “..Forgive” (64:14)
Arabic word here wataghfiru “..Forgive” (64:14). “Maghfirat” meaning this is not limited to just forgiveness, it encompasses to further be given something. When one prays “Allahum-maghfir lee (O Allah, forgive me)”, this is not limited to only forgiveness. What one is actually saying is “O Allah forgive me and grant me heaven”. In addition to forgiveness, one is asking to be granted something.
So first step is to erase, second clean it from your heart and third in addition to forgive, treat or provide a gift.
If you do all these three:
“..then indeed, Allāh is Forgiving and Merciful” (64:14)
Allah will forgive your sins. Only prayer and fasting is not a means of getting one’s sins forgiven. Removing disputes and reconciliation is means of Allah’s forgiveness.
