I don’t have anyone but my boyfriend and my cousin talk about topics without someone crying some type of “ism”. Ajnabis come off very sensitive . Growing up with pan Africanism and western feminism give me more self hate. I was told that all blacks are the same, but was depressed that I didn’t look quite like them. I would told that I have a disease because my lips were purple lips and was skinny. I would paint my lips red. I become very overweight because I was trying to have a body like the stereotypical black girl. Was told that black people are the only people accept me, so I should forgive whatever they did or said. When I watched slaves movies, outside of Amistad, I felt no connection to. I can’t comprehend the feeling to have the acknowledgment and approval of white people. When a white or non-black says something racist to do me, I feel a fire inside and can’t never give them even a tear or try to conquer them. I have no fear of police. My mum and some of my family side to this day makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me for feeling that way. I also had a very big guilt complex about Africans enslaving “each other” I have a complex about being called a coon or self hate because it’s not I hate being black or want to be white. I just don’t relate or connect with all black people. I think Somalis are superior, but doesn’t mean I hate other races and would go out my way to disrespect them. I hated college because it was too slow and to me, they’re just training you to be a good employee. Also, the whole black is god and the lead is ass backwards to me. My mum says I’m too blunt, arrogant and doesn’t understand why I want to connect with African American identity. I see a lot of African Americans as whiny and sensitive to any criticism, especially the women. They tend to take EVERYTHING personal. I tried to connect with maadows and the hood, but it was the worst decision I’ve ever made. My mental state was horrible and had no self esteem. Now that I accepted my African heritage and that even though we’re different, it’s okay. I’m not as angry and hateful anymore. I think subconsciously I was resentful towards ajnabis because I forced to try to be something I wasn’t and I believe, deep down, maadows do it. Also, my younger sister was raised fully in maadow culture and she’s a fat welfare fraud psychopathic . My dislike of Somalis integrating into any other identity is psychologically and economically damaging to us. Like my sister is a BT-3000- edition as Tommy Sotomayor puts it. Has anyone ever experienced else this ? Honestly now I get complimented by maadows how polite and respectful I am. The only people that give me grief about is my family. My aunt told me that they’re better because they’re part Native American, had more education and shouldn’t think that they’re superior because Somalia is a shithole. My grandma told not to wear scarfs because I look like “those” people. Outside my cousin and one of my aunts, I keep my distance. My Afro Latino cousins see that nationalist is evil and everyone should equal. I can’t joke or disagree without them getting triggered. Mixed race black people have a severe guilt complex. They do victim complex thing to fit it, but doesn’t benefit them. I know this is long, but yeah, those are my weird little thoughts. Living around hotel, Hebrew Israelites and guilt tripped white trash commies will make you a little crazy. I have stories. Some many stories
Sorry if I talk a lot sometimes and this is a long post but that’s because
- Thread starter Kurolady08
- Start date
@Kurolady08 you are beautiful inside-out. Don’t let these identity politics driven people get to you. Develop a hobby, meditate, sign up for a yoga class and read some self improvement books
I’m getting back into drawing. I’m working on moving out, but it’s hard with the environment. I’m glad I have a job I love. It’s my mum and sister. I’m serious when I say she’s a psychopath. The thing is that she’s mildly altruistic, but my mum takes it as “She can do whatever she wants “ She has no job and lives off benefits. She’s fully Americanized. My mum has an obsession with “The struggle “ and being strong and independent. I have no desire to be Oprah and hates the fact I want to be a housewife. Owning a business sounds bothersome and tedious to me . Altruism runs a lot of my dad’s side, which she resents for. No one on my mum’s side does, so she’s right......@Kurolady08 you are beautiful inside-out. Don’t let these identity politics driven people get to you. Develop a hobby, meditate, sign up for a yoga class and read some self improvement books
Mum ? We don’t say mum in America. Are you from Europe ?
Does every sibling u have not like u except for ur sis? Why is everyone around u a sensitive snowflake? Why do u feel so guilty for not feeling a certain way? Is ur family Somali and African American?
Also, don't hang around those black hebrew Israelite nut jobs lol. They're self hating clowns.
She’s from New England :siilaanyolaugh:
It’s a quirk I picked up from watching lots of British tv. I love doctor who and father ted . My Somali side originated from British Somaliland. Most of my folks are nomadic or deal with different cultures, so each person’s accent varies, The only time that stills the same is it’s always the posh version of said dialect. My Irish friends call me massa . Lol . The need to extra always stays I suppose......But outside that it’s Somali, Arabic and French. My dialect sounds nothing like a Chicagoan . My dad sounds exactly like Hank from King of the Hill
No, I do have family out there, Minneapolis, Seattle and Atlanta.
wow I always see your posts but I had no idea about ur rich heritage, whatever the case ur personal happiness is very important, l love the advice our dear sister @Emily gave, once u find inner peace, everything else follows
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