Some Muslim men out here aren't paying the MEHER!!!! (Dowry)

[Yaraye]

It's not a matter of how high or low it is if I like her enough I'll pay whatever she asks for.

But signs of greed and shallowness when it comes to mehr instead of gratefulness are always bad signs every Muslim man should look out for.

high meher expense isn't a sign of greed

we're supposed to be grateful for what? to cook, clean, and sleep with you?

 

[Yaraye]

Simp.

i hate that men refer to decent men as that word.

 

[Bowda-dheer]

I have asked some Muslim brothers from other ethnic groups and they don’t pay anything more then a small gift sometimes food, fruits or clothes. In somali culture we have doonis, gabaati and on top of it the mehr (a loan sometimes not paid).
For our own akhirah because death is never far away we should not be agreeing to high meher that you’re not gonna be paying. Most people are doing the high meher just to show off to other families and nacab.

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[Yaraye]

I have asked some Muslim brothers from other ethnic groups and they don’t pay anything more then a small gift sometimes food, fruits or clothes. In somali culture we have doonis, gabaati and on top of it the mehr (a loan sometimes not paid).
For our own akhirah because death is never far away we should not be agreeing to high meher that you’re not gonna be paying. Most people are doing the high meher just to show off to other families and nacab.

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he died without paying?!

 

[Bowda-dheer]

he died without paying?!

We as in his friends paid it off before we put him in the grave alxm. May Allah give us friends and family who will save us in a day like that.

 

[Andrea]

I actually don't know of any woman in my life who was given her full mehr: married or divorced.

Somali men don't pay out mehr.

 

[Angelina]

I have asked some Muslim brothers from other ethnic groups and they don’t pay anything more then a small gift sometimes food, fruits or clothes. In somali culture we have doonis, gabaati and on top of it the mehr (a loan sometimes not paid).
For our own akhirah because death is never far away we should not be agreeing to high meher that you’re not gonna be paying. Most people are doing the high meher just to show off to other families and nacab.

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Don’t lie. Arabs and Asians pay a lot more Mehr than Somalis and that is a fact . They also tend to have bigger and flashier weddings than Somalis. We’re modest compared to them lot. Amongst Somalis, Reer Xamar cadcad tend to have the flashiest weddings and that Is definitely due to their Arab/Indian ancestry.

 

[Bowda-dheer]

Don’t lie. Arabs and Asians pay a lot more Mehr than Somalis and that is a fact . They also tend to have bigger and flashier weddings than Somalis. We’re modest compared to them lot. Amongst Somalis, Reer Xamar cadcad tend to have the flashiest weddings and that Is definitely due to their Arab/Indian ancestry.

The average poor somali vs the average poor pakistani/Arab? We are talking about average xamaali somali or living paycheck to paycheck back home vs average Pakistani/arab in their category. Pakistanis who are lavish on average are well established, educated with family business over 40-50 years. Rich srabs are on average coming oil money plus business oriented families. well off Somalis have lavish weddings plus high meher but we are comparing here the poor or working class. Somalis pay kore for weddings plus we have doonis and gabaati plus a high mehr who knows we might die with.

 

[Yaraye]

I actually don't know of any woman in my life who was given her full mehr: married or divorced.

Somali men don't pay out mehr.

oh my god! and here I was looking forward to my meher in the future

 

[Yaraye]

We as in his friends paid it off before we put him in the grave alxm. May Allah give us friends and family who will save us in a day like that.

mashallah, great friends he has. Ameen, may allah give me people live that

 

[Angelina]

The average poor somali vs the average poor pakistani/Arab? We are talking about average xamaali somali or living paycheck to paycheck back home vs average Pakistani/arab in their category. Pakistanis who are lavish on average are well established, educated with family business over 40-50 years.

I’m talking about the average Western Pakistani and Arab. They most definitely take wedding festivities a lot more seriously than Somalis. They would usually have three days events. The Mehindi night, Nikkah and Walima. All separate.

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Rich srabs are on average coming oil money plus business oriented families. well off Somalis have lavish weddings plus high meher but we are comparing here the poor or working class. Somalis pay kore for weddings plus we have doonis and gabaati plus a high mehr who knows we might die with.

Somalis do not have higher Mehr not in the slightest. The average Somali girl in the West gets 2K to 6k. On top of that Somalis have a habit of not paying the Mehr straight away. We tend to wait or traditionally give it upon divorce. The same cannnot he said for the average Western Arab and don’t get me started on Arab girls in the Khaleej.

 

[Andrea]

oh my god! and here I was looking forward to my meher in the future

Forget about sis. Your aren't getting it. Don't count on it.

If I was you, I would just get into a high salary career and work for your own money.

 

[Andrea]

Don’t lie. Arabs and Asians pay a lot more Mehr than Somalis and that is a fact . They also tend to have bigger and flashier weddings than Somalis. We’re modest compared to them lot. Amongst Somalis, Reer Xamar cadcad tend to have the flashiest weddings and that Is definitely due to their Arab/Indian ancestry.

Also, I know so many weddings, whereby the girls family helped pay for it or the girl helped from her own savings.

The most Somali men bring for the wedding is about 10k. In London some of the halls themselves on their own could be 8k a night. And then on top of that the girl needs her dress, food, decoration.

I would say from what I seen; the average Somali woman's family adds about 4k to the money the guy brings to pay for the wedding.

 

[Angelina]

Also, I know so many weddings, whereby the girls family helped pay for it or the girl helped from her own savings.

The most Somali men bring for the wedding is about 10k. In London some of the halls themselves on their own could be 8k a night. And then on top of that the girl needs her dress, food, decoration.

I would say from what I seen; the average Somali woman's family adds about 4k to the money the guy brings to pay for the wedding.

100%. That has been the case for all the girls I know. Including my own family and friends. Anyways, sis a lot of the guys here are late teens/early 20s. They don’t know what they’re talking about whatsoever.

 

[Hotchick12]

My friend married a timojileec the guests gave them so much money that they paid off their wedding,

 

[Hargeysa]

Somalis do not have higher Mehr not in the slightest. The average Somali girl in the West gets 2K to 6k. On top of that Somalis have a habit of not paying the Mehr straight away. We tend to wait or traditionally give it upon divorce. The same cannnot he said for the average Western Arab and don’t get me started on Arab girls in the Khaleej.

I agree about mehr, it is rather low tbh. However, I've been to a few weddings in the past year, and I was surprised to find the cost for the weddings were £20k+. This is fine ofc, as long as people can afford it. But when the people getting married are young (and therefore broke), I can't help but think that money could be better used elsewhere - although that's for them to decide.

All being equal, i think it's better to give a large mehr, and have a more modest wedding, because that way, the girl gets to keep more of the lacag. But I understand it depends on what people value.

 

[Angelina]

I agree about mehr, it is rather low tbh. However, I've been to a few weddings in the past year, and I was surprised to find the cost for the weddings were £20k+. This is fine ofc, as long as people can afford it. But when the people getting married are young (and therefore broke), I can't help but think that money could be better used elsewhere - although that's for them to decide.

All being equal, i think it's better to give a large mehr, and have a more modest wedding, because that way, the girl gets to keep more of the lacag. But I understand it depends on what people value.

I wouldn’t advise a girl to ask for a very large Mehr. What could happen is that a woman might want to divorce the man and in that situation, she might have to return a bit or all of the Mehr. This is called Khula. I know it’s a bit weird thinking about this, but you should, you never know how your marriage might pan out.

 

[JohnCena]

@a_bilan @Yaraye @empressjamila @iftiina
i always pay my mehr, just to let you guys know.

You're the prize, never forget that <3

 

[hinters]

Mehr is not symbolic. It is wajib on the guy to pay it and it's really not that peak tbh. If it is a lot you can pay in installments.
Don't agree to it if you can't afford it, you don't want the woman to come for you in yawmul qiyammah.

Also I never said it wasn't fard.

 

[hinters]

i hate that men refer to decent men as that word.

Decent = giving a kidney for a girl?

I know he was joking but wallahi billahi tallahi unless it's my mother or my sister I'm never giving any girl a kidney.