Somali men have been babied by their mothers

[DangerBadan]

I just read a thread just now of someone who said he doesn't want to get married because he loves his single life. No responsibility and no duties and he's 32. His mother wants to get him a wife but he says no. This is a reoccurring theme of what the Somali community has to deal with when it comes to Somali men who were babied by their mothers and validated by their fathers into not taking any responsibility or duties. This goes beyond guur and the state of our men today. This is what Somali mothers had to deal with.

 

[Nin123]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Odious Delirium]

i don't think its an issue from the perspective your choosing to direct it from. i would say its more so a product of westernization. a ton of women also choose not to marry because they feel self sufficient. that a man wont add anything to there lives of value if anything they will be losing personal autonomy if they did marry since they would have duties and responsibilities to there husband and kids if they got any.

i have seen many women make threads expressing these sentiments with slightly different personal reasons to justify there position and i have also seen men make posts like the one your making not in the same words or reasoning your using but with the same sentiments mainly bitterness.

this has nothing to do with men being babies its just a byproduct for both men and women when they adopt the individualism of the west as a core personal value. have the women who want there personal freedoms that are lost in a marriage that way because they where babies by there parents

 

[Juke]

Didn't you make a thread a few days ago complaining about not finding a connection with any of the Somali guys you were dating?

Just a little more bit introspection and you'll find your solution to a happy life

 

[ForwardSweep]

I just read a thread just now of someone who said he doesn't want to get married because he loves his single life. No responsibility and no duties and he's 32. His mother wants to get him a wife but he says no. This is a reoccurring theme of what the Somali community has to deal with when it comes to Somali men who were babied by their mothers and validated by their fathers into not taking any responsibility or duties. This goes beyond guur and the state of our men today. This is what Somali mothers had to deal with.

You're tripping if you think this is solely a Somali problem. This kind of behaviour is rampant in the West and I'm surprised you haven't noticed this. You have [eople either avoiding marriage in favour of casual sex with strangers or married people opting to not have children, which is really no different from being single. You can chalk it up to pure hedonism or a poor future outlook.

 

[Odious Delirium]

No the only community I’ve seen that babies their sons are South As*ans. The men would make it to their 20s and 30s living in their own apartments/houses and still depend on their mothers to cook and clean for them until they get married off and their new bride takes over for the mother. I remember reading stories of cadaan/madow roommates who were baffled that these guys would have their mothers pick up their chores for them.

The Somali men that I’ve known in my life know how to cook and clean for themselves by the time they’re teenagers. Something about our culture forces our kids to be independent for themselves even if our parents are harsher on the daughters.

shes speaking from a position of bitterness. her last thread was about her giving up on marriage. this is the same type of thread that those guy who cry about women who don't want to get married and make things personal issue around them living happily single. this is the male version.

@DangerBadan don't give up and don't let this bitterness take over you

 

[Odious Delirium]

You're tripping if you think this is solely a Somali problem. This kind of behaviour is rampant in the West and I'm surprised you haven't noticed this. You have [eople either avoiding marriage in favour of casual sex with strangers or married people opting to not have children, which is really no different from being single. You can chalk it up to pure hedonism or a poor future outlook.

its individualism and hedonism

 

[yasmeen]

shes speaking from a position of bitterness. her last thread was about her giving up on marriage. this is the same type of thread that those guy who cry about women who don't want to get married and make things personal issue around them living happily single. this is the male version.

@DangerBadan don't give up and don't let this bitterness take over you

It’s strange when people try to apply their one experience as a universal Somali experience. It frustrates me when I see Somalis do this so I’m conscious of not making that mistake.

Somali men are men so of course you will see that our daughters will have more pressure in picking up important duties in the household, especially if the parents think it’s shameful for the boys to do it, but generally I think our parents raise our boys to be independent. They can fend for themselves. It’s the nomadic nature of our culture. You won’t catch them surviving off their parents for help if they are out living on their own. It’s the other way around, they’re the ones who support their parents.

What dangerbadan is talking about has more to do with a man waiting for his options. I don’t know what it has to do with being babied.

 

[TekNiKo]

Society in general has short attention spans leading to lack of patience and commitment to a loving marriage. Lets stop the gender wars for a second and lets face it. Both genders are becoming more and more selfish and narcissistic.

 

[Odious Delirium]

It’s strange when people try to apply their one experience as a universal Somali experience. It frustrates me when I see Somalis do this so I’m conscious of not making that mistake.

Somali men are men so of course you will see that our daughters will have more pressure in picking up important duties in the household, especially if the parents think it’s shameful for the boys to do it, but generally I think our parents raise our boys to be independent. They can fend for themselves. It’s the nomadic nature of our culture. You won’t catch them surviving off their parents for help if they are out living on their own. It’s the other way around, they’re the ones who support their parents.

What dangerbadan is talking about has more to do with a man waiting for his options. I don’t know what it has to do with being babied.

it has nothing to do with being babied
usually when women do this they mask it better dagan doesn't mask her intent at all and ended up sounding exactly like the guys because they never mask it when they make the bitter anti single woman who doesn't want to settle is because of xyz problems thread.

 

[Hmohamed54]

I see this

i don't think its an issue from the perspective your choosing to direct it from. i would say its more so a product of westernization. a ton of women also choose not to marry because they feel self sufficient. that a man wont add anything to there lives of value if anything they will be losing personal autonomy if they did marry since they would have duties and responsibilities to there husband and kids if they got any.

i have seen many women make threads expressing these sentiments with slightly different personal reasons to justify there position and i have also seen men make posts like the one your making not in the same words or reasoning your using but with the same sentiments mainly bitterness.

this has nothing to do with men being babies its just a byproduct for both men and women when they adopt the individualism of the west as a core personal value. have the women who want there personal freedoms that are lost in a marriage that way because they where babies by there parents

some parents spoil there kids so much that no husband or wife can please them.

 

[Basra]

I just read a thread just now of someone who said he doesn't want to get married because he loves his single life. No responsibility and no duties and he's 32. His mother wants to get him a wife but he says no. This is a reoccurring theme of what the Somali community has to deal with when it comes to Somali men who were babied by their mothers and validated by their fathers into not taking any responsibility or duties. This goes beyond guur and the state of our men today. This is what Somali mothers had to deal with.

A somali mother took her son from diaspora to Somalia due to mental illness. She wanted him to have arranged marriage, he ended up killing her by slaughtering her

 

[Angelina]

I don’t think a man who doesn’t want to ever marry at 32 has got anything to do with being Somali. They’re simply abnormal. They’re either as-sexual, very low T or drive, homosexual or viewing inappropriate material or committing Zina.

It’s not about being babies. I do think Somali mothers do baby their sons compared to the their daughters when their sons are living with them, but tbh I’ve never seen a Somali man living alone have his mother visit so she can do his laundry or anything like that. Once they live alone they tend to be hands on and they’re the best ones to marry. If he doesn’t want to ever marry, then that has nothing to do with you and more to do with his issues…. And they’re not the type of issues you’d want to deal with, so I don’t see why you you’re complain about those types.

 

[Angelina]

its individualism and hedonism

Lol, I don’t believe it. Not for the men. I don’t believe any healthy Somali man with a average or more T-levels would shun marriage unless they intended to lead a life of Zina and most Somali guys regardless of their practicing levels even if they have committed Zina in the past wouldn’t feel comfortable making this into a common habit and a lifestyle.

 

[Hmohamed54]

Lol, I don’t believe it. Not for the men. I don’t believe any healthy Somali man with a average or more T-levels would shun marriage unless they intended to lead a life of Zina and most Somali guys regardless of their practicing levels even if they have committed Zina in the past wouldn’t feel comfortable making this into a common habit and a lifestyle.

So any guy or girl not married or hasn't been married over a certain age is a loser to some of you guys ?

 

[Odious Delirium]

so I don’t see why you you’re complain about those types.

She wants the saqajan type to leave saqajannimo behind and commit perhaps?

 

[TheManWhoIsAlive]

I'm legitimately career oriented and going towards a 6 figure income (so far I'm at around $80k as a manager). I'm not interested in settling down because I wanna get my money up first. I'm 30. So some of us guys are trying to hustle ATM to be set and comfy when we get married.

 

[Gacmeey]

So any guy or girl not married or hasn't been married over a certain age is a loser to some of you guys ?

Read carefully saxib. Shes talking about men who don’t want to get married at all ever.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Lol, I don’t believe it. Not for the men. I don’t believe any healthy Somali man with a average or more T-levels would shun marriage unless they intended to lead a life of Zina and most Somali guys regardless of their practicing levels even if they have committed Zina in the past wouldn’t feel comfortable making this into a common habit and a lifestyle.

In general I think men overall are less sex inclined but over all I don't understand a man not wanting to ever marry myself but recent stats based on the west shows men especially younger men are more celibate then ever so I'm asumming some western dynamic is at play here and men and women are becoming more closer in this individualism take more then ever.

 

[Hmohamed54]

Read carefully saxib. Shes talking about men who don’t want to get married at all ever.

How do you know without asking them and who knows if they're being honest. A guy can be taking care of his whole immediate family and not want to take on another responsibility of marriage.