You even see this nonsense in the talking stages. I know so many cases of men being smitten in the beginning, once they get her to let their guard down, they act all cold but once she tries to leave or pull back, they’re back to chasing again. It’s exhausting and it goes to show a lot of men have avoidant personality traits and it can be difficult to avoid these types since it seems there are too many of them.Honestly, this is a huge issue with many men. Many say they like a good and affectionate woman. Just a little observation and you'll know that is not true.
You know what, you’re 100% correct. Why should women play games? Why can’t women be entirely themselves? I only talked about tension, seduction and unpredictability to explore the male psyche and many of the guys did agree with me, but thinking about it, it must be flipping draining having to constantly adjust your behavior especially when you’re naturally a deeply affectionate and loving individual which is be frank a gift and something to be cherished.For those in this thread stating: "she should have been more flirted and be more mysterious." "She should have only gave him affection here and there." "he shouldn't know where she stands 100% of the time"
Why should she have to do all of that? Those mental games are draining wallahi. why should a woman constantly have to think of what next move she should make to keep a man interested / not be suffocated? Why should she say "mhmmmm should i be old or hot today?" It's easier for a human being to have a consistent behavior, and generally that's actually many people's nature. This woman chose her consistent behavior to be affectionate, and for that to be her consistent behavior.
This man needs to be honest with her instead of bringing his complains online. But he doesn't want to do that, cuz he knows once he does that (no matter how much he sugar coats it) she will not behave in the same manner with him. She most likely won't bother being affectionate with him anymore. She will feel like he took her affection for granted and will stop it fully. He doesn't want to lose that. He knows telling her to "tone it down" will cost all of her affection. What this selfish man wants is "some affection" but not too much. He wants a dial which he can control the setting of how strong her affection is. Yesterday he wanted 20% of her affection. Today he wants 70% of her affection. Tomorrow only 30%. The day after 90%. The day after that 0%...etc
If he feels suffocated, he needs to talk to her. So that she can make the choice on whether to adjust her behavior or find someone who will enjoy her as she is. If a man told me to "tone it down" or that " he feels suffocated" I would get the ick. I wouldn't want to do anything for him and with him anymore (affection, acts of service, intimacy with him). I just would lose the desire to be with him anymore. I'm sure many women also think this way. Just the thought of one day being hot and the other day being cold sounds exhausting to me. It's easier to be consistent. It would be time to find a new partner. Mind games are too much. I'm just glad that this happened early in their marriage and not after investing too much time and even having kids.
Unfortunately, I’ve read and seen far too many cases of men being appreciative of women who are on the more laid back side in the beginning, but that might not be the full picture? Either way it’s very annoying that a lot of men are like this. The guy as you put it was simply not the one.