Somali man getting cooked on twitter for not liking his wife’s affection

[World]

What do you men think of my analysis.
@Vapour @Nilotic @World @Keep it a boqol @Bari @Shimbiris @Aurelian @El Nino @Kisame

I think this is a lot less straightforward than him not being physically attracted to her. She could be stunning for all we know even from his perspective.

Many men didn’t grow up with affection, hence having all of this affection at once can be overwhelming. Plus, since it’s the beginning of the marriage and it might be very early days, I think some men require a bit of a push and pull and mental seduction unfortunately. As a poster mentioned, if she was a tad bit colder and distant from time to time, he’d appreciate the affections when he gets it. Basically, there no guessing game, or the initial unpredictability found in blossoming relationships which surprisingly some men thrive on. It’s boring. He knows where she 100% stands. Sometimes a bit of mystery and flirtation goes a long way. People love sexual tension. That’s what it is.

Since we’re Muslim, we don’t have the classic dating stages in which you’re able to flirt and figure each other out. We don’t have the romantic tension ect. It’s strictly formal, we ask each other a few questions and parents get involved then BOOM married. Hence it can be a bit much for a couple to go from not knowing each other very well and then being treated like you’re the love of someone’s life and being jumped on every second like a golden retriever high on crack. A bit of mystery? Seduction? Leaving him wanting for more? Being a tad unpredictable? That’s deffo needed in the beginning in order to stimulate some men’s mind.

He simply doesn't value her affection. When he wakes up in the morning and sees her, he probably feels apathy and a bit of contempt, and he lies to himself that he loves her.

People who cheat on their spouses usually feel the same way he does. He will come home late from work soon in order to avoid his wife.

 

[Angelina]

He simply doesn't value her affection. When he wakes up in the morning and sees her, he probably feels apathy and a bit of contempt, and he lies to himself that he loves her.

People who cheat on their spouses usually feel the same way he does. He will come home late from work soon in order to avoid his wife.

What makes you think is the reason why he doesn’t value her affection? Is it because he doesn’t value her?

Do you think it’s lack of attraction or is it due to her being over the top and not pulling back at times? Do you agree with my analysis of push and pull?

Do you think if she withdrew affection he’d rethink his feelings?

Btw, this is very common amongst men even in the talking stage, they start of interested, go cold and start developing apathy but don’t want to end things, sometimes when the woman ends things, they go running back apologizing and then the cycle continues. That’s why I think the whole thing isn’t straightforward. This man married her, it’s early stages and he is behaving this way. It begs the question, why did he marry her? Why do these men still want to be with women whom they feel this way about?

 

[World]

What makes you think is the reason why he doesn’t value her affection? Is it because he doesn’t value her?

Do you think it’s lack of attraction or is it due to her being over the top and not pulling back at times? Do you agree with my analysis of push and pull?

Do you think if she withdrew affection he’d rethink his feelings?

Btw, this is very common amongst men even in the talking stage, they start of interested, go cold and start developing apathy but don’t want to end things, sometimes when the woman ends things, they go running back apologizing and then the cycle continues. That’s why I think the whole thing isn’t straightforward. This man married her, it’s early stages and he is behaving this way. It begs the question, why did he marry her? Why do these men still want to be with women whom they feel this way about?

Probably from the very beginning. Maybe she wanted to marry him more than he wanted to marry her. She was always very excited to marry him, but he probably wasn't too sure but married her anyway. And now she's showing how much she loves him, but because that initial feeling didn't go away, it suffocates him.

 

[Angelina]

Probably from the very beginning. Maybe she wanted to marry him more than he wanted to marry her. She was always very excited to marry him, but he probably wasn't too sure but married her anyway. And now she's showing how much she loves him, but because that initial feeling didn't go away, it suffocates him.

As controversial as men think this statement is, there is wisdom in the view that women should marry men who love them a bit more or are more excited by them. At the end of the day, its men who are the pursuers and very rarely do women chase men but in many cases women still manage to be in this situation. I really don't understand why men continue to pursue women they feel lukewarm about. It's a tad scary.

I've heard of so many cases of men chasing women in the begining, lying about their level of interest but switch up and still and try to marry the said woman once she realises the energy is off.

 

[Angelina]

We dont have that dating stage come to xamar and u will see so many girls have boyfriends its called qudbo siro..
Its technical boyfriend girlfriend relationship somali version.

I truly believe us Western Somalis are more conservative than Somalis back home. You lot might be more cultured and versed in Somalinimo but in terms of being reserved, conservative and more moral, Western Somalis are better on average.

 

[Riftvalley]

Fake story

 

[Wervelwind]

This is what happens when you marry someone you don't know anything about. They're incompatible

It sounds like he's more of an introvert and she's an extravert

 

[vanilla]

She's constantly in his space and not giving him room to breathe hence why it feels suffocating. I think theres time and place for everything. Honestly after long day at work I just wana go home in one piece, eat my dinner in peace, and relax watching Netflix etc. After he unwinds, he will probably appreciate the affection or even be the one to initiate it.

 

[Sup]

Screenshot of original post:
View attachment 328905


I’m exactly like that girl fr I would do all of that for a man I love. Hope I don’t marry someone who sees it as suffocating

Lucky sum b@&$”

 

[johnsepei5]

Dude baited himself out

he said he was from canada he got into extreme specifics,i wont be suprised if his wife finds that posts and realizes

 

[NidarNidar]

Screenshot of original post:
View attachment 328905


I’m exactly like that girl fr I would do all of that for a man I love. Hope I don’t marry someone who sees it as suffocating

What a beta.

Ungrateful c*nt. I'd be pissed if my man was seeking an escape plan from my love and affection on Reddit.

if it's you I can understand.

 

[galhareeri]

I truly believe us Western Somalis are more conservative than Somalis back home. You lot might be more cultured and versed in Somalinimo but in terms of being reserved, conservative and more moral, Western Somalis are better on average.

Dude calm down wah western somalis kulaha are more conservative . Calm down. I am just talki g about sex life that is it. But somalis in west some of them go and drink alchohol some girls do onlyfans and their backs are blown by jar**r .
Kkkk.

 

[Farah717]

This guy is so lucky

 

[Angelina]

Dude calm down wah western somalis kulaha are more conservative . Calm down. I am just talki g about sex life that is it. But somalis in west some of them go and drink alchohol some girls do onlyfans and their backs are blown by jar**r .
Kkkk.

They are less than 0.5% of the Western diaspora and the worst of amonst them came from Somalia like less than ten years ago. People like queen Qawaan and co are fob girls. They're not Western born and raised girls.

 

[galhareeri]

They are less than 0.5% of the Western diaspora and the worst of amonst them came from Somalia like less than ten years ago. People like queen Qawaan and co are fob girls. They're not Western born and raised girls.

Dating culture in xamar is super easy as long u average guy u can get girls imo
. To have se**x

 

[Zob]

Why doesnt he just knock her up so a lot of that affection can go towards the baby?

 

[Moon-]

why doesn't he tell her instead calcaaling on reddit

 

[Yaraye]

Honestly, this is a huge issue with many men. Many say they like a good and affectionate woman. Just a little observation and you'll know that is not true.

For those in this thread stating: "she should have been more flirted and be more mysterious." "She should have only gave him affection here and there." "he shouldn't know where she stands 100% of the time"

Why should she have to do all of that? Those mental games are draining wallahi. why should a woman constantly have to think of what next move she should make to keep a man interested / not be suffocated? Why should she say "mhmmmm should i be old or hot today?" It's easier for a human being to have a consistent behavior, and generally that's actually many people's nature. This woman chose her consistent behavior to be affectionate, and for that to be her consistent behavior.

This man needs to be honest with her instead of bringing his complains online. But he doesn't want to do that, cuz he knows once he does that (no matter how much he sugar coats it) she will not behave in the same manner with him. She most likely won't bother being affectionate with him anymore. She will feel like he took her affection for granted and will stop it fully. He doesn't want to lose that. He knows telling her to "tone it down" will cost all of her affection. What this selfish man wants is "some affection" but not too much. He wants a dial which he can control the setting of how strong her affection is. Yesterday he wanted 20% of her affection. Today he wants 70% of her affection. Tomorrow only 30%. The day after 90%. The day after that 0%...etc

If he feels suffocated, he needs to talk to her. So that she can make the choice on whether to adjust her behavior or find someone who will enjoy her as she is. If a man told me to "tone it down" or that " he feels suffocated" I would get the ick. I wouldn't want to do anything for him and with him anymore (affection, acts of service, intimacy with him). I just would lose the desire to be with him anymore. I'm sure many women also think this way. Just the thought of one day being hot and the other day being cold sounds exhausting to me. It's easier to be consistent. It would be time to find a new partner. Mind games are too much. I'm just glad that this happened early in their marriage and not after investing too much time and even having kids.

 

[Nin123]

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View attachment 328905


I’m exactly like that girl fr I would do all of that for a man I love. Hope I don’t marry someone who sees it as suffocating

Cheating will fix this problem

 

[Vapour]

What do you men think of my analysis.
@Vapour @Nilotic @World @Keep it a boqol @Bari @Shimbiris @Aurelian @El Nino @Kisame

I think this is a lot less straightforward than him not being physically attracted to her. She could be stunning for all we know even from his perspective.

Many men didn’t grow up with affection, hence having all of this affection at once can be overwhelming. Plus, since it’s the beginning of the marriage and it might be very early days, I think some men require a bit of a push and pull and mental seduction unfortunately. As a poster mentioned, if she was a tad bit colder and distant from time to time, he’d appreciate the affections when he gets it. Basically, there no guessing game, or the initial unpredictability found in blossoming relationships which surprisingly some men thrive on. It’s boring. He knows where she 100% stands. Sometimes a bit of mystery and flirtation goes a long way. People love sexual tension. That’s what it is.

Since we’re Muslim, we don’t have the classic dating stages in which you’re able to flirt and figure each other out. We don’t have the romantic tension ect. It’s strictly formal, we ask each other a few questions and parents get involved then BOOM married. Hence it can be a bit much for a couple to go from not knowing each other very well and then being treated like you’re the love of someone’s life and being jumped on every second like a golden retriever high on crack. A bit of mystery? Seduction? Leaving him wanting for more? Being a tad unpredictable? That’s deffo needed in the beginning in order to stimulate some men’s mind.

I sort of agree. The pull-push tactic may work. Some guys like the chase. But I think the main problem here is inexperience. People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship.