Somali Attitudes to Divorce/Marriage

[Rayaale]

There’s no stigma against divorcees in our community, I know one guy I used to work with who married a twice divorced woman and everyone congratulated him

 

[Unicorn]

One of the few things tht favor women. Somali culture looks at divorce as calaf/destiny. Something normal even if they label only the women as garoob, the society wont shun her. She can still remarry anytime. I was sad to learn tht were unique when it comes to tht in the muslim community. Arabs and South Asians act like the divorced women is as good as dead they dont even make an exception for young divorced girls tht are 20/21 years old. Nope. If she gets a divorce at 20 then she wont ever get married again. Its soo mean. Anyways my friends mom got married 3x and had kids with all three husbands and her kids had different qabils cuz of tht. Lol she told my mom about it and thts how u know there isnt much shame about it. All her kids are grown now with kids of their own.

 

[Atoosh]

You're right — divorce isn’t necessarily a huge dealbreaker or taboo in Somali culture. But I’ve noticed some Xalimos online talk about it as if it's universally stigmatized, which might reflect their specific household experience rather than the broader cultural reality. Similarly, incels don’t represent the views of the wider community either.

I used to be surprised when I would visit back home and saw women raising multiple children from different fathers — it's more common there, and the idea of “stability” carries a different weight. In the diaspora, though, the lack of stability can have a deeper impact on children, especially when one parent is absent or neglectful or a step parent is abusive.

 

[Marsh]

Somalis in the West should stigmatize divorce because destroying your kids potential isn’t normal. Somalia would be better off if they stigmatized it as-well but let them have their fun.

 

[balanbalis]

Somalis in the West should stigmatize divorce because destroying your kids potential isn’t normal. Somalia would be better off if they stigmatized it as-well but let them have their fun.

Divorce in Somali culture isn’t normalised for trivial issues, it only happens if it was seen as inevitable and that there are no other options. The children’s lives are taken into consideration and that perhaps causes the divorce to be pushed until many of them are adults.

Divorce in Somali culture isn’t just a pro for women, but also a con. There are men who just ‘get up and leave’ if they decide they’re sick of their wife/kids. So it’s a double edged blade tbh.

But it should stay normalised so people don’t end up killing themselves like other divorce-stigmatised countries.

 

[Marsh]

Divorce in Somali culture isn’t normalised for trivial issues, it only happens if it was seen as inevitable and that there are no other options. The children’s lives are taken into consideration and that perhaps causes the divorce to be pushed until many of them are adults.

Divorce in Somali culture isn’t just a pro for women, but also a con. There are men who just ‘get up and leave’ if they decide they’re sick of their wife/kids. So it’s a double edged blade tbh.

But it should stay normalised so people don’t end up killing themselves like other divorce-stigmatised countries.

If someone is getting divorced multiple times, like the example you mentioned its 99% trivial reasons or poor judgment x3. Men/women with multiple divorces shouldn’t be outright shamed, but makes sense to view them as non-serious to commitment in marriage. Stigmatizing divorce somewhat can make these people work things out when times get tough instead of just normalizing dipping out.