Somali Attitudes to Divorce/Marriage

[balanbalis]

I love how divorce isn’t a social killer for Somalis like other Muslim cultures.

I see Somali women in my family getting divorced/married multiple times and she isn’t seen as lesser.

Some modern qurbajoog men try to place non-Somali expectations on women such as hating ‘used’ divorced women but so far I haven’t seen this effect a woman’s life irl

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[soulmates]

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[wonyluvr]

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[balanbalis]

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Good for her, I love how non-patriarchal Somali culture is. Yes there are gendered roles (home tending vs geeljire lifestyle which both genders have participated in), but women aren’t expected to be subservient and silent

 

[balanbalis]

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Education is so important at every age, I plan on saving when I get my big girl job so I can study niche masters part time!

 

[wonyluvr]

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[balanbalis]

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[wonyluvr]

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[wonyluvr]

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[novanova]

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[Kun_Ciil]

It's not all universal amongst somalis. In konfur, it's caadi for a girl to get divorced and remarried several times.

Laakin Reer Somaliland don't know about now, but they used to have a dhaqan of viewing a divorcee as damaged goods and a risk...they have a whole maa maah for it. "Armal waxa lagu furay hada laga fardhaaminin faraqa bii ku sidata"

 

[Barni]

Listen, I am glad that there is no stigma surrounding divorce, however if there are kids involved. It is extremely difficult and traumatic for them to adapt to that reality. Being a divorcee more than twice is an indicator that there is an issue with YOU.

 

[Kisame]

I love how divorce isn’t a social killer for Somalis like other Muslim cultures.

I see Somali women in my family getting divorced/married multiple times and she isn’t seen as lesser.

Some modern qurbajoog men try to place non-Somali expectations on women such as hating ‘used’ divorced women but so far I haven’t seen this effect a woman’s life irl

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somalis back home get married pretty early in life. Around 18-22 for men and women. The older gen was getting married around the same age sometimes even younger. Single men that are 25+ actually have to worry about the possibility of ending up with a single mom or a divorcee if they want to marry a woman around their age.

"Some modern qurbajoog men try to place non-Somali expectations on women such as hating ‘used’ divorced women but so far I haven’t seen this effect a woman’s life irl"

a lot of western somalis are getting married in their late 20s and early 30s. If your single man between the ages of 18 - 35 you won't have much trouble finding women that were never married. Especially if your educated and financially stable.

I really don't know any divorcees under the age of 30. All of my Muslim friends that got married in their mid 20s are still married.

I'll probably start seeing a bit more divorces when I break into my 30s.

 

[Kisame]

Listen, I am glad that there is no stigma surrounding divorce, however if there are kids involved. It is extremely difficult and traumatic for them to adapt to that reality. Being a divorcee more than twice is an indicator that there is an issue with YOU.

"Listen, I am glad that there is no stigma surrounding divorce, however if there are kids involved. It is extremely difficult and traumatic for them to adapt to that reality. "

I don't know a single somali man under the age of 35 that married a single mother.

A lot of older somali men that marry single moms don't even step up as step father figures. Most of them don't care about the kids and only care about the relationship they have with their partner.

Western Millennial and gen Z Somali men know what it takes to raise a child and I believe a lot of them aren't interested in become step fathers any time soon. We'll probably start seeing more men consider it once we break into our 30s and 40s.

 

[balanbalis]

It's not all universal amongst somalis. In konfur, it's caadi for a girl to get divorced and remarried several times.

Laakin Reer Somaliland don't know about now, but they used to have a dhaqan of viewing a divorcee as damaged goods and a risk...they have a whole maa maah for it. "Armal waxa lagu furay hada laga fardhaaminin faraqa bii ku sidata"

I’m reer waqooyi from Hargeisa and my family don’t care about marriage/divorce

 

[balanbalis]

Listen, I am glad that there is no stigma surrounding divorce, however if there are kids involved. It is extremely difficult and traumatic for them to adapt to that reality. Being a divorcee more than twice is an indicator that there is an issue with YOU.

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[balanbalis]

I don't know a single somali man under the age of 35 that married a single mother.

A lot of older somali men that marry single moms don't even step up as step father figures. Most of them don't care about the kids and only care about the relationship they have with their partner.

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[Riftvalley]

On the flip side, you have men (and now even xalimos) who have been married/divorced at least 5-6 times in their by the time they’re are 50.