Do xalimos give choosing signals? And why aren’t they as potent and clear as women of other backgrounds?
I say this because I be in places and some women of non-ethnic backgrounds give me strong and clear choosing signals. They smile at me, look me in my eyes, ask me how I’m doing and just genuinely seem interested in wanting to talk to me. Xalimos I meet seem generally kind and decent but they send mixed signals. Like, there was this xalimo the other day. She saw me sat outside a restaurant I was solo dining at and she kept walking past me back and forth taking glimpses at me. Was she interested in me? The ghetto in me was more compelled to believe she may have been on the fone with the oops and making a visual confirmation.
It’s confusing because some xalimos I get the feeling genuinely want to get to know me when we interact but either I’m busy or they’re just not someone I see myself being in a committed relationship (marriage) with. i.e. she’s dressed inappropriately or is too ghetto for me (I’m not ghetto but I like to keep a little ghetto in me)
As I was driving the other day I saw a xalimo walking down the street, she came across a garage where a couple ajnabis guys were working at. I observed how she looked at one of the guys who was stood outside on his fone whilst having a smoke. She kept looking back at him, every few steps she took. That seemed to me like very strong choosing signals. And the weird part of it all was this xalimo was wearing an abaayo, a hijabi. I guess I kind of expected her type of xalimos to be uninterested in that type of guy but there you go.
So I’m left thinking to myself choosing signals do get thrown about, just not to a guy like me
it’s sad because the women I like don’t seem to like me and the women I’m uninterested in seem to like me. And there are some xalimos that take interest in me and vice versa but I get negative voices in my head that say things like she wouldn’t like you if you wasn’t driving this car, dressed how you’re dressed or going to college/university, or growing muscle. I be thinking if she never met me she would’ve probably married an ajnabi guy. Or that I’m that fall back nigga she would be married to because I check all the boxes on paper and so long as she gets an all girls trip once or twice a year with no questions asked, we’re all gucci
I feel like the race mixers in our community has messed things up in terms of how brothers perceive sisters. There use to be a time when I was just a boy. About 9, 10 when our outlook on life was different. Love to us was only homogeneous. And it felt good. And then you get older and witness the proliferation of race mixing and it’s not so much the women that do it, but the other women like the mothers, the unties who say things like how, as long as it’s halal it’s ok. It makes me think like were you habyars ever truly in love with your Somali husbands? Does Somali love really existed as readily as we believe it is? Or are we all race mixers in waiting, just some of us have had the opportunity presented to us a lot sooner than others
I say this because I be in places and some women of non-ethnic backgrounds give me strong and clear choosing signals. They smile at me, look me in my eyes, ask me how I’m doing and just genuinely seem interested in wanting to talk to me. Xalimos I meet seem generally kind and decent but they send mixed signals. Like, there was this xalimo the other day. She saw me sat outside a restaurant I was solo dining at and she kept walking past me back and forth taking glimpses at me. Was she interested in me? The ghetto in me was more compelled to believe she may have been on the fone with the oops and making a visual confirmation.
It’s confusing because some xalimos I get the feeling genuinely want to get to know me when we interact but either I’m busy or they’re just not someone I see myself being in a committed relationship (marriage) with. i.e. she’s dressed inappropriately or is too ghetto for me (I’m not ghetto but I like to keep a little ghetto in me)
As I was driving the other day I saw a xalimo walking down the street, she came across a garage where a couple ajnabis guys were working at. I observed how she looked at one of the guys who was stood outside on his fone whilst having a smoke. She kept looking back at him, every few steps she took. That seemed to me like very strong choosing signals. And the weird part of it all was this xalimo was wearing an abaayo, a hijabi. I guess I kind of expected her type of xalimos to be uninterested in that type of guy but there you go.
So I’m left thinking to myself choosing signals do get thrown about, just not to a guy like me
it’s sad because the women I like don’t seem to like me and the women I’m uninterested in seem to like me. And there are some xalimos that take interest in me and vice versa but I get negative voices in my head that say things like she wouldn’t like you if you wasn’t driving this car, dressed how you’re dressed or going to college/university, or growing muscle. I be thinking if she never met me she would’ve probably married an ajnabi guy. Or that I’m that fall back nigga she would be married to because I check all the boxes on paper and so long as she gets an all girls trip once or twice a year with no questions asked, we’re all gucci
I feel like the race mixers in our community has messed things up in terms of how brothers perceive sisters. There use to be a time when I was just a boy. About 9, 10 when our outlook on life was different. Love to us was only homogeneous. And it felt good. And then you get older and witness the proliferation of race mixing and it’s not so much the women that do it, but the other women like the mothers, the unties who say things like how, as long as it’s halal it’s ok. It makes me think like were you habyars ever truly in love with your Somali husbands? Does Somali love really existed as readily as we believe it is? Or are we all race mixers in waiting, just some of us have had the opportunity presented to us a lot sooner than others
