This is an excerpt from one of Dr Kanwal Kaisser’s speeches on Marriage. Its translated more or less meaning. My notes are in brackets.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates..” (30:21)
“that you may find tranquility in them..” (30:21) Why is there marriage? So one can obtain peace from one another.
And then: “and He placed between you love and mercy.” (30:21)
Today we think marriage begets stress. (After marriage some of us) say I was living such a good life (prior to marriage) now I am stuck with this difficulty. And I have ruined my life. Why?
Because when married life begins we have thought to ourselves that the other party should do something for me. The boy thinks the girl will bring this package of “peace” and “love” and I don’t have to do anything. And if this is a girl she thinks this package will be brought by the boy and I am fine the way I am. Each thinks they are justified to be the way they are. This causes conflicts.
If you reflect sometimes this type of thinking is taught to them. I ask today’s parents have you provided this type of thinking to your children? We are reflecting sometimes on our own marriages but do we ever reflect what message we have given to next generation. Have we ever taught them? “Son/Daughter when you get married, its your duty (to be a source of peace and love to your spouse)”.
We don’t emphasis on things or work that needs to be mentioned. We don’t groom our sons or daughters that you have to give to the other ‘peace’. You have to take this package (into your marriage). Just imagine a marriage took place the bride’s mother and groom’s mother both have given this advice what will happen? One will obtain favorable result.
We have long list of clothes, food, enjoyment. But we have not given this any thought.
In addition to peace between husband and wife there should be “love” and “mercy”. This is not love where there are candle light dinners and gifts on valentine days. At that time what gift did I get? At that moment how many times did one proclaim their love for me? How many oaths of love did we take for each other? If there is, that’s grace of Allah.
But what is really meant by love? It is you get along with one another, you understand each other and you respect, honor each other.
sheikhonderun.wordpress.com
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates..” (30:21)
“that you may find tranquility in them..” (30:21) Why is there marriage? So one can obtain peace from one another.
And then: “and He placed between you love and mercy.” (30:21)
Today we think marriage begets stress. (After marriage some of us) say I was living such a good life (prior to marriage) now I am stuck with this difficulty. And I have ruined my life. Why?
Because when married life begins we have thought to ourselves that the other party should do something for me. The boy thinks the girl will bring this package of “peace” and “love” and I don’t have to do anything. And if this is a girl she thinks this package will be brought by the boy and I am fine the way I am. Each thinks they are justified to be the way they are. This causes conflicts.
If you reflect sometimes this type of thinking is taught to them. I ask today’s parents have you provided this type of thinking to your children? We are reflecting sometimes on our own marriages but do we ever reflect what message we have given to next generation. Have we ever taught them? “Son/Daughter when you get married, its your duty (to be a source of peace and love to your spouse)”.
We don’t emphasis on things or work that needs to be mentioned. We don’t groom our sons or daughters that you have to give to the other ‘peace’. You have to take this package (into your marriage). Just imagine a marriage took place the bride’s mother and groom’s mother both have given this advice what will happen? One will obtain favorable result.
We have long list of clothes, food, enjoyment. But we have not given this any thought.
In addition to peace between husband and wife there should be “love” and “mercy”. This is not love where there are candle light dinners and gifts on valentine days. At that time what gift did I get? At that moment how many times did one proclaim their love for me? How many oaths of love did we take for each other? If there is, that’s grace of Allah.
But what is really meant by love? It is you get along with one another, you understand each other and you respect, honor each other.
She will provide peace, He will provide peace
Excerpt from Dr Kanwal Kaisser’s speeches on Marriage. “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates..” (30:21) “that you may find tranquility in them..”…
sheikhonderun.wordpress.com
