Attendance at the mosque is 100% obligatory for Muslim men, it's optional for women - if the male section is larger it's because that is where the mosque's budget went as that is where most people will be.
Honestly declining a handshake shouldn't be a problem in society where a man can be referred to as she if he demanded. Just explain it respectfully and be on your way. No need to sugarcoat the Deen.
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