If the definition of murder is administering sedative medication at request, then I’ve committed it. She was having painful breathing (sometimes called the death rattle), and I used to do meds at a facility as a med tech. The family kept asking for more, and the dx orders was open-ended. Did I feel like I killed her? Yes. But I wasn’t in control. After the fact, I couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like to leave her to her devices, and that’s what helped me get over myself.
A lot of times at end of life, when elderly people are dropping like flies in the winter season, it takes one cold or bad fall to put them at the brink of death. They’re given sedatives/pain meds and tend to pass.