Quiting

[Hodan from HR]

@SOULSEARCHING Sending you healing thoughts and prayers

I don't have medical input but I wonder what triggers your anxiety? Are you scared of how you will come across when interacting with others or you are an introvert who doesn't enjoy small talks?

If it is the first, try not to care much about how you come across to others. If there is something you feel strongly about, speak up and if they got issue with your opinions, you can still be respectful but firm on why you believe what you do. If they don't like it, that is their problem.

Also, if you are naturally an introvert, dont beat yourself up for not fitting into the workplace socialization standards. Let your actions and contributions at work do the talking.

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All the best sis ❤

 

[SadioMane]

I dont think i can not work , i hate talking to people my social anxiety is so high, i dont know what to do.
I get extremely nervous and lose my train of thought.

i go out n socialise and that has not helped me

Firstly, congrats on sharing this and being honest about what you're going through. Even though it's online and anonymous I'm sure you were feeling anxious sharing this.

Were do you live? Because in the UK there's Talking Therapies and Mental Health support. As someone mentioned Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is good. What you'll do is gradually experiment by being in social experiences and reviewing how you felt. You will compare your unrealistic expectations to reality.

The key is gradually.

Also, when you are caught up in negative self evaluation it can be very difficult to see a way out or even have the motivation. However, there is hope and judging by the way you are expressing yourself, you have employable skills.

As you have been thinking the way you have for years any change will not be overnight. It will be a gradual process.

At one point I was so socially anxious that was unable to work. However, with right therapy, exercise, medication and QURAN. I am now able to work in a customer facing role. I would never have dreamt of this at my lowest point.

Also be don't listen to people who mock mental health issues or downplay it. I even heard close family members saying that this doesn't exist in Africa but it is a reality.

It's not gonna a cake walk going out to do things that you absolutely would love to avoid BUT it gets easier.

The other option is you stay at home, hide away and live an utterly miserable life. There's pain behind each choice but therapy and treatment allows for joy after the pain.

For me getting better is a constant thing. Like a muscle. If I don't expose myself to social situations then I would regress.

Of course, you cannot forget that you need to cry to Allah and beg him to make things easier. Allah choose this test for you because your strong enough. I know you probably hate it but it could actually be beneficial to you. On the day of Judgement some people will see good deeds just because of the suffering they experienced. So remember every moment of anxiety you have ever felt was wiping out a bad deed or it's a good deed for you. Also an efforts that you make to over come it is more reward.

After months of therapy and exposing myself to social situations I was able to start my first day in an office job. I worked half a day and felt absolutely exhausted. I put on my headphones and played surah baqarah. It played on the following verse:


"Do you think that you will enter Paradise while you have not yet been visited by (difficult) circumstances like those that were faced by the people who passed away before you? They were afflicted by hardship and suffering, and were so shaken down that the prophet, and those who believed with him, started saying: “When (will come) the help of Allah?” (Then, they were comforted by the Prophet who said to them) ‘Behold, the help of Allah is near.’" Surah Baqarah Verse 214.

Give me a shout if you need anything. It's definitely doable.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

dumbass AJ!

meds only work on severely sick people, and bipolar people who are danger to themselves and to others.

she's just anti social.

Antisocial people have a mental illness. She's just asocial and introverted, but even they take pills. It's use is very prevalent.

 

[Ferrari]

Antisocial people have a mental illness. She's just asocial and introverted, but even they take pills. It's use is very prevalent.

mental illness is thrown around way too much if you ask me.

socially anxious people are normal people.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

mental illness is thrown around way too much if you ask me.

socially anxious people are normal people.

Antisocial people are the narcissists who manipulate people and who gaslight you. They're totally crazy and different from socially anxious people. But they too should take medication or force themselves to talk to people and face their fears with people who understand if they don't want to take pills because otherwise it'll never go away.

Did you know socially anxious hoyoos in their 50s and 60s exist? I met one, garbasar and everything. What she had was very crippling... shaking and sweating and she went back to her car and had her son handle some business for her she was supposed to do. It was like 2010 and I still think about her. It hit me hard.

 

[Ferrari]

Antisocial people are the narcissists who manipulate people and who gaslight you. They're totally crazy and different from socially anxious people. But they too should take medication or force themselves to talk to people and face their fears with people who understand if they don't want to take pills because otherwise it'll never go away.

Did you know socially anxious hoyoos in their 50s and 60s exist? I met one, garbasar and everything. What she had was very crippling... shaking and sweating and she went back to her car and had her son handle some business for her she was supposed to do. It was like 2010 and I still think about her. It hit me hard.

medications f*ck people up tho.

if it is not severe enough, i wouldn't recommend that shit.


majority of mass shooters in the US are usually some form of medication.


also, that hooyo probably went through the horrors of the civil war, most Somalis above 40 years old who were in somalia during the war, have gone through that shit and were probably affected by it. they do a good job hiding it tho.

 

[Shibbane]

I was very shy as a teenager. I thought everyone saw the little pimple which grew overnight!

Best advice I got from my French teacher was to enroll for things which put me in front of people like drama, debating club, toastmasters, etc. Bless her soul, she forced me into the school French Drama Club. Hated, hated it at first, but it worked.

I also saw a counseling psychologist who showed me some tricks to calm my arse down and cut off the mental torture of self-judgement and rumination when around other people. e.g walk upright, look for a friendly face in the crowd, say hi to someone familiar, remember everyone else is also anxious like you, etc

Although I still get butterflies in my stomach in social settings, most people assume I am an extrovert because of all the forced practice from all these clubs.

PS: Please avoid drugs unless you MUST. I took an anti-anxiety drug once for a large conference and I looked like a robot. TOTAL Disaster.

 

[Radical]

You received some excellent advice here. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors