Please critique my idea for a Somali mahou bishoujo manga adaptation of Wizard of Oz and give me some suggestions

[Kurobecky]

I want to make a Somali version of Wizard of Oz as a mahou shoujo ("magical girl") manga. I was SO disappointed when I watched The Wiz. Here’s some of the basic concepts for the story, characters, references and influences for it
•The main character name is Hibaaq. Dorothy means God’s Gift. Hiba is her nickname. I have no clue what her qabil should be. Her background is for rural farmers that only travel to big cities to sell their produce. What should her surname and middle name be ? Her original’s surname is Gale, which comes from the Anglo-Saxon tribes of Britain. It was a name for a person who was known for their cheerful personality and their jovial disposition.
•Is there a Somali girl name that translates into rainbow or close to it ? •I chose rainbow as a reference to the song “Over the Rainbow “ and this Muslim passage So, the next time you find yourself in a storm, turn to Allah's shelter and don't forget the rainbow and sunshine that will inevitably come after it. Allah will get you through it. He will heal you. And you will emerge much stronger than before.
•My version of Oz is going to be a fantasy steam punk Somalia with various Cushitic and Berber culture mixed in. Something like Avatar. Art Noveau and surrealism are the main aesthetics for the art direction. The version of witches I’m going to use is going to be a mixture of an Ayaanle from traditional Somali folktales and Tuareg shamans who use special contract with spirits called Kel Essuf (“people of the wild, solitude, or nostalgia”). Islamic marabouts perform divination and heal with Qur’anic verses and cabalistic numerical systems. Smith/artisans are usually spirit-possession ritual drummers believed to hold superhuman powers.

 

[Kurobecky]

• I’m adapting from the both the first movies and novels. There’s will be some story elements from The Wiz.
•I choose to make it a shoujo manga because the main character is 12, so it’s weird that she’s traveling with 3 grown men who aren’t her family. Also, I love drawing pretty girls and that’s will be Cushitic/Amazigh waifus for everyone.
• My version of the Cowardly Lion: A lioness cat girl that based off Scar, especially from the version from the A Tale of Two Brothers novel. She’s cowardly because she’s very vain, lazy and a diva. Wants to be a part of a pride harem, but doesn’t hunt . The reason she wants courage is be a good hunter and be a waifu. Also has a fan club of simps who are were hyenas. Their designs are going to be the Little Bit Beastly character that has mostly human traits (hair, skin and body type) but she has some physical features like a cat, usually the ears, tail, eyes, and sometimes claws or even a natural Fur Bikini.

 

[Kurobecky]

@Crow @Jiron @GBTarmy @486th President @angelicnagito @Nafiso Qalanjo @LLL @Basra I need your input about my manga concept and have a couple of questions
1. What should the main character, Hibaaq’s surname? The choices I brainstormed with are either something with the meaning jovial/cheerful (from the actual meaning of Gale) or divine wind . I want the middle name to translate into rainbow
2. What would be a good Somali translated title ? The Wonderful Wizard of Oz . I can’t use the word Aw. Is there a word for something like a sage, or faith healer I can use for Wizard.
3. What’s some links where I can more information about Cushitic folklore and fairytales?

 

[one]

Hibaaq≠Hibo. Hibo is an Arabic name which means gift, whilst Hibaaq is an authentic Somali name for the plant,"Plectranthus hadiensis"

Oz=measurement for gold, no? How about Hodman=Wealthy or Hodan?

If she's from a farming community, how about the location being somewhere close to the two rivers?

As for qabil. Is Hibaaq a smith/artisan? Then Gabooye sounds like the best choice...
Or since you said she's a farmer, how about Aji? It's an outdated name now, but from what I know, the word itself means "water/clay/watery mud". My theory is that the Ajis were most likely Sacmaal(cattle herders) and/or biyomaal(farmers and fishermen) communities that came together to form that clan.

Yes. Jeegaan= A female's name for rainbow. There's also Qaanso-roobaad which also means rainbow in Somali. But the qaanso(bow/arc) bit could be Arabic in origin. Or it could be a proto-Afroasiatic word, I dunno: (x)

LOL smh at Gale. I'd instead suggest "Xanfalay" as her naanays/nickname.
The Xanfalay wind=Some sort of wind spell which enabled the Yibir to fly/disappear very quickly. I heard the Yibirs used to invoke this wind when they wanted to bury/hide their dead bodies somewhere far away where "regular" Somalis can't see/reach. I also heard some matriarchs/foremothers disappeared along with this wind. Bucur Bacayr's wife, Galabo, Hamida etc. All of them disappeared while on the run, somewhere in the direction of Harar...Coincidence? I think not.

In Somali culture: first name= your given name, middle name=your father's first name, last name=your paternal grandfather's first name.
First name: Hodman/Hodan.....or even better Koos=wind
Middle name: Dabayl=wind
Last name: Dafle=the snatcher
Koos Dabayla-dafle "Xanfalay" or Ina Dabayla-dafle.

Your version of the cowardly lion sounds retarded. I wouldn't read it even if you paid me.

 

[one]

1. What should the main character, Hibaaq’s surname? The choices I brainstormed with are either something with the meaning jovial/cheerful (from the actual meaning of Gale) or divine wind . I want the middle name to translate into rainbow
2. What would be a good Somali translated title ? The Wonderful Wizard of Oz . I can’t use the word Aw. Is there a word for something like a sage, or faith healer I can use for Wizard.
3. What’s some links where I can more information about Cushitic folklore and fairytales?

1. Check my post above.

2. Wizard/Magician=Sixiroole(arabic), I'd say just go with faaliye/faaliso=fortune teller.
There's also Calaaqad(female leader of the Zar ritual). You can say an "Alaaqad" is a faith healer or a shaman.

3.You're better off asking the Somali elders(especially the elderly women) from back home. That's what I do anyway.

 

[Kurobecky]

Hibaaq≠Hibo. Hibo is an Arabic name which means gift, whilst Hibaaq is an authentic Somali name for the plant,"Plectranthus hadiensis"

Oz=measurement for gold, no? How about Hodman=Wealthy or Hodan?

If she's from a farming community, how about the location being somewhere close to the two rivers?

As for qabil. Is Hibaaq a smith/artisan? Then Gabooye sounds like the best choice...
Or since you said she's a farmer, how about Aji? It's an outdated name now, but from what I know, the word itself means "water/clay/watery mud". My theory is that the Ajis were most likely Sacmaal(cattle herders) and/or biyomaal(farmers and fishermen) communities that came together to form that clan.

Yes. Jeegaan= A female's name for rainbow. There's also Qaanso-roobaad which also means rainbow in Somali. But the qaanso(bow/arc) bit could be Arabic in origin. Or it could be a proto-Afroasiatic word, I dunno: (x)

LOL smh at Gale. I'd instead suggest "Xanfalay" as her naanays/nickname.
The Xanfalay wind=Some sort of wind spell which enabled the Yibir to fly/disappear very quickly. I heard the Yibirs used to invoke this wind when they wanted to bury/hide their dead bodies somewhere far away where "regular" Somalis can't see/reach. I also heard some matriarchs/foremothers disappeared along with this wind. Bucur Bacayr's wife, Galabo, Hamida etc. All of them disappeared while on the run, somewhere in the direction of Harar...Coincidence? I think not.

In Somali culture: first name= your given name, middle name=your father's first name, last name=your paternal grandfather's first name.
First name: Hodman/Hodan.....or even better Koos=wind
Middle name: Dabayl=wind
Last name: Dafle=the snatcher
Koos Dabayla-dafle "Xanfalay" or Ina Dabayla-dafle.

Your version of the cowardly lion sounds retarded. I wouldn't read it even if you paid me.

Thanks for the feedback

 

[Kurobecky]

@one But seriously thank you for honest critique and information. It’s good to know what works and doesn’t. This is why mangaka have editors.

 

[tyrannicalmanager]

you got alot of ideas, but what about showing how you do manga panels and how they flow. if you got that down you could make a manga about basically anything and still make it engaging.