

LONDON- A large group of tribal elders gathered in the breakaway republic of Somaliland today to petition Prince Phillip the Duke of Edinburgh, 91, for political recognition. The elders, carrying large portraits of the Prince and draped in the union jack, had apparently come to believe that Queen Elizabeth II had died after they had consumed copious amounts of a new strain of khat imported from Yemen. When questioned by this reporter, the elders were completely ignorant of the royal line of succession or the UK’s system of government. One man offered this reporter sex with his daughter in exchange for positive coverage about his subclan, the habar jeclo.