This coming August it will be exactly one year since i first had my first therapy. I Kid you not, it has been a journey of a century for me. One of the most illuminating months in my long life existence. Before my first session, therapy was always in my mind, or in my to do list. It was something i knew i needed back in my head, but through unforeseen forces, i hesitated to dip in. My therapist is a charming half Chinese, and Half White man, five feet ten, and with facial hair extenuating a pronounced prodigious nose. He was in his mid to late 30s. My first impression of him was that although he was polite, full of heart, but he was not intelligent. I was very concerned to sit for therapy, if i did not respect the intelligence or intellectual ability of my therapist. So yes, unfortunately- i judged him, and i was wrong. Judging others, and myself comes in as a second nature for me. One of the few things that came up in my therapy, and something i am still working hard to maneuver through. I will save you the long dragging emotional roller coaster, bleeding self introspective, Paranoia, Panic attacks that ensued in the months following my first therapy session. Instead i will share with you ALL, the fulfilling results, that was transformative, and amazingly luminous. Our therapy discussions were lively, amazing insightful, and thoroughly self realizing. I discovered i did not want an Intelligent therapist, but one who is compassionate, and validating. In essence, my therapist was a God's intervening match made in heaven. It turns out, i was lacking compassion, deep validating compassion that heals the soul. My therapist provided it with over flowing abundance. I discovered how we are the number one enemy of ourselves. I beat myself senseless on self negative talks, and ego based identity that was not me. I discovered that in the purest form of me, lays a very good, and valuable soul whom God has blessed. Of course, my therapist was Christian, and does bible studies in his free time, but i felt secure in my own deen, and never judged him or myself in any untoward capacity. Our discussions sometimes would last more than the one hour appointed, and we would both be sorry it has ended. He was gleaming on my mind, and analysis charm- and I his over flowing heartful compassion. No-we did not fall in love and get married. That would be disgusting. In the midst of our sessions, i did sort of deduce his sexuality, it creeped in on- me, here, and there, but i was n NO mood to entertain it, nor having it. I was rejecting my unchecked judgmental mind into its proper sphere of good behavior. A good, healed person of consequence.
In the end, my one year anniversary of my first therapy was a milestone for me, and my former self whom i lovingly left behind. I wanted to share it with you my fellow introverts. I hope in the deepest of yourselves, you find peace and joy, even if for a brief time we have here on earth.
In the end, my one year anniversary of my first therapy was a milestone for me, and my former self whom i lovingly left behind. I wanted to share it with you my fellow introverts. I hope in the deepest of yourselves, you find peace and joy, even if for a brief time we have here on earth.
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