Abdullahi: Plays football every Saturday with the wadaads from the local Masjid. He buys season tickets. He has try outs for local football affiliates and is noticed by scouts. He then ends up getting married to a Xaliimo, has children and nobody ever sees him again. Reports now and then always surface that he was seen shopping in Tesco.
Faarax: Chews qaat and has stained teeth. He smokes and at midnight when everyone leaves the Maqaayad (cafe), him, Ducaale and Jaamac secretly put on some . He always has no money because he didn't get 'paid' yet. He owes money to every maqayaad in the local neighbourhood. He doesn't know how many children he has. He doesn't know the ages of his own children. In fact, he doesn't even know his own age.
Xamdi (male): Soft spoken, very respectful, miskeen, nominally educated, you will only see him online or in a Masjid or in a protest against rises in tuition fees. He reads tabloids, always uses public transport. He seems to always know the weather forecast for the next two weeks. He plays football once every blue moon. Very unpredictable, a bit insane. Emotionally unstable, only marries after they hit 35.
Abdi: Drug dealer and rides a bicycle, has been arrested multiple times, almost always come from single mother households. Didn't complete college. Has a criminal record, when he comes clean, he gets a job at Burger King and starts studying for a National Diploma Level 2 when he is 34.
Zubayr: Very religious miskeen. He ends up always marrying Ayaan, the hoe from the endz. A white knight. Gets friend zoned by default, has over 1000 Facebook friends. He is a cuck. His greatest desire is to complete a Celta and work in Saudi Arabia as an English teacher. This is most likely the real name of some Sspot users like @Prince of Lasanod.
Ahmed: University graduate with a Degree in Civil Engineering. But only to fulfill his parents' desires. He loves history, anthropology and ethnicity in the Horn of Africa. The ideal son. Works for the UNHCR in many development projects back home. Very educated, most Somali women are not attracted to him. Always ends up marrying an Indian or Arab woman. Becomes wealthy and lives a comfortable life without any drama.
@Khalid Hussein: Extremely confused. Barely literate. The only black guy that is always seen with a group of Lebanese. Walks around with a thobe even to school. Only listens to Shaykh Feiz and Nasheeds. He cried when Rantisi, Arafat or Khalid Mesh'al were only rumoured to have been hurt. But when his ayeeyo died in a tuulo outside of Dhagaxbuur, he only found out three weeks after she was buried, by way of rumours. He sponsors orphans from Kashmir and Burma. Khalid Hussein's are always reprehensible, gullible and extremely naive. They often end up in jail for carrying other people's illegal possessions like weapons or marijuana. They are the only Somalis to get waterboarded. His best friend is Zubayr.
@Canuck: People who call themselves by this name are usually Shemales. They are usually married to Ducaale, the plumber from the Maqaayad. Un-educated and extremely unpleasant. Neglected. Can barely formulate an articulate sentence. Nobody knows where they reside. Sells uunsi on the high street. FOB. Extremely un-refined. Has high blood pressure and diabetes. They suffer from morbid obesity. Logs in to Sspot from the public housing dept. Steals passwords for Wi-Fi. Always has bad credit. On welfare. On heavy meds for psychosis. Truly believes that the governments of the world are out to get them. Believes that that the E.U actually stands for Ethiopia United. An unpleasant inferior human being who has clinical depression and social anxiety disorder. Always on Paltalk and Facebook. A real undesirable.
Ayaan: SJW, BLM . Every madow in the neighbourhood carpet bombed her until it was declared a no fly zone. She eventually settles down with Zubayr who was the first one to lift the UN sanctions from her vagina. She is fiercely independent and works whilst her husband stays at home and cooks for her. She has kids out of wedlock that her husband know has adopted as his own, she smokes and drinks while her husband is praying Isha at the Masjid. Despite her obvious promiscuity, Zubayr or @Prince of Lasanod is more than content since he believes this action will uplift hablaheena and save them from impending doom. She is a true winner and gets her loyal Faarax. Extremely cunning. Smarter than 80%+ of all Faaraxs. Her father died in the Civil War.
Faarax: Chews qaat and has stained teeth. He smokes and at midnight when everyone leaves the Maqaayad (cafe), him, Ducaale and Jaamac secretly put on some . He always has no money because he didn't get 'paid' yet. He owes money to every maqayaad in the local neighbourhood. He doesn't know how many children he has. He doesn't know the ages of his own children. In fact, he doesn't even know his own age.
Xamdi (male): Soft spoken, very respectful, miskeen, nominally educated, you will only see him online or in a Masjid or in a protest against rises in tuition fees. He reads tabloids, always uses public transport. He seems to always know the weather forecast for the next two weeks. He plays football once every blue moon. Very unpredictable, a bit insane. Emotionally unstable, only marries after they hit 35.
Abdi: Drug dealer and rides a bicycle, has been arrested multiple times, almost always come from single mother households. Didn't complete college. Has a criminal record, when he comes clean, he gets a job at Burger King and starts studying for a National Diploma Level 2 when he is 34.
Zubayr: Very religious miskeen. He ends up always marrying Ayaan, the hoe from the endz. A white knight. Gets friend zoned by default, has over 1000 Facebook friends. He is a cuck. His greatest desire is to complete a Celta and work in Saudi Arabia as an English teacher. This is most likely the real name of some Sspot users like @Prince of Lasanod.
Ahmed: University graduate with a Degree in Civil Engineering. But only to fulfill his parents' desires. He loves history, anthropology and ethnicity in the Horn of Africa. The ideal son. Works for the UNHCR in many development projects back home. Very educated, most Somali women are not attracted to him. Always ends up marrying an Indian or Arab woman. Becomes wealthy and lives a comfortable life without any drama.
@Khalid Hussein: Extremely confused. Barely literate. The only black guy that is always seen with a group of Lebanese. Walks around with a thobe even to school. Only listens to Shaykh Feiz and Nasheeds. He cried when Rantisi, Arafat or Khalid Mesh'al were only rumoured to have been hurt. But when his ayeeyo died in a tuulo outside of Dhagaxbuur, he only found out three weeks after she was buried, by way of rumours. He sponsors orphans from Kashmir and Burma. Khalid Hussein's are always reprehensible, gullible and extremely naive. They often end up in jail for carrying other people's illegal possessions like weapons or marijuana. They are the only Somalis to get waterboarded. His best friend is Zubayr.
@Canuck: People who call themselves by this name are usually Shemales. They are usually married to Ducaale, the plumber from the Maqaayad. Un-educated and extremely unpleasant. Neglected. Can barely formulate an articulate sentence. Nobody knows where they reside. Sells uunsi on the high street. FOB. Extremely un-refined. Has high blood pressure and diabetes. They suffer from morbid obesity. Logs in to Sspot from the public housing dept. Steals passwords for Wi-Fi. Always has bad credit. On welfare. On heavy meds for psychosis. Truly believes that the governments of the world are out to get them. Believes that that the E.U actually stands for Ethiopia United. An unpleasant inferior human being who has clinical depression and social anxiety disorder. Always on Paltalk and Facebook. A real undesirable.
Ayaan: SJW, BLM . Every madow in the neighbourhood carpet bombed her until it was declared a no fly zone. She eventually settles down with Zubayr who was the first one to lift the UN sanctions from her vagina. She is fiercely independent and works whilst her husband stays at home and cooks for her. She has kids out of wedlock that her husband know has adopted as his own, she smokes and drinks while her husband is praying Isha at the Masjid. Despite her obvious promiscuity, Zubayr or @Prince of Lasanod is more than content since he believes this action will uplift hablaheena and save them from impending doom. She is a true winner and gets her loyal Faarax. Extremely cunning. Smarter than 80%+ of all Faaraxs. Her father died in the Civil War.
