Mehr Shaming is getting out of Hand, Poverty is now Sunnah.

[Qeelbax]

Imagine someone handing you a niqab and a book as mehr. If that wasn’t bad enough, she said you can ask for some timir and apples. The half eaten apple as a mehr joke originates from pickmeshas.


If you want a dead mehr then okay but why do these twitter ukhtis want to screw the rest of us over?

 

[Qeelbax]

 

[Yaraye]

The men who shame are broke. The women who shame must had low meher

 

[Odious Delirium]

What's wrong with them stating it and spreading that message?

she's just advising and stating the sunnah. Your the one attacking here and shaming. you dont have to hate on it and demonise it because you dont want that for yourself.

There is no need to look down on and attack these women and neither should people attack those that want large mahrs.

 

[Yaraye]

What's wrong with them stating it and spreading that message?

she's just stating the sunnah. you dont have to hate on it and demonising it because you dont want that for yourself.

No need to look down on and attack these women and neither should people attack those that want large mahrs

it's fine to state the sunnah, but not shame women who don't want low meher

 

[Odious Delirium]

it's fine to state the sunnah, but not shame women who don't want low meher

And where exactly did she shame anyone at all in her tweet? she just stated the sunnah and gave an example.

It's the replies and @Qeelbax who posted her on here that's doing the shaming and putting other women off the idea of low mahr.

 

[Qeelbax]

it's fine to state the sunnah, but not shame women who don't want low meher

Exactly, these people are always shaming women.

What's wrong with them stating it and spreading that message?

she's just advising and stating the sunnah. Your the one attacking here and shaming. you dont have to hate on it and demonise it because you dont want that for yourself.

There is no need to look down on and attack these women and neither should people attack those that want large mahrs.

Tell me when it became Sunnah to ask for something like timir and niqab as mehr? Clothes and food is not mehr, that’s an obligation that he has to provide.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Tell me when it became Sunnah to ask for something like timir and niqab as mehr? Clothes and food is not mehr, that’s an obligation that he has to provide.

You can ask for anything as mahr it's just the price of the bride. Provision is separate to that. You still need to buy these items and they are classified as good things that can be brought and sold. Your a hybrid shaffi/Maliki. Neither group believes there is a minimum mahr and both say mahr can be anything. Some of the sahaba got married on just teaching a few Surahs forget niqab and timir.

The hanafis are the only group that say there should be a minimum mahr and that it should be some thing that has exchangeable value which also doesn't count out timir and niqabs but does count out cats

The sunnah is to ask for a little.
the mahr that Ali gave to fatima based on what the prophet told him (making it a sunnah) to give in today's amount is less then $1500

 

[Qeelbax]

You can ask for anything as mahr it's just the price of the bride. Provision is separate to that. You still need to buy these items and they are classified as good things that can be brought and sold. Your a hybrid shaffi/Maliki. Neither group believes there is a minimum mahr and both say mahr can be anything. Some of the sahaba got married on just teaching a few Surahs forget niqab and timir.

The hanafis are the only group that say there should be a minimum mahr and that it should be some thing that has exchangeable value which also doesn't count out timir and niqabs but does count out cats

The sunnah is to ask for a little.
the mahr that Ali gave to fatima based on what the prophet told him (making it a sunnah) to give in today's amount is less then $1500

Mehr is security and a gift. No timir or niqab unless it’s made of gold is worth 1.5k.

And I hate how y’all say, it’s sunnah for it to be less as though that means pennies. Y’all act like women are getting 100k mehrs when in reality it’s usually 2-15k. None of these are high, that’s 1-3 months of salary for the average man in America.

Are we gonna act like there isn’t hadith of a Fatima ibn Qais being told not to marry Muawiyah because he was poor.

The mehr the Prophet would give women would be enough for them to survive on their own for at least a few months minimum, so this 1500 isn’t comparable, when you compare it to modern living costs.

 

[Bari🐍]

Mehr is security and a gift. No fucking timir or niqab unless it’s made of gold is worth 1.5k.

And I hate how y’all say, it’s sunnah for it to be less as though that means pennies. Y’all act like women are getting 100k mehrs when in reality it’s usually 2-15k. None of these are high, that’s 1-3 months of salary for the average man in America.

Security??? It's a gift, nothing more. The preference in Islam is a low Mehr because that is what Fatima the daughter of our beloved Messenger SAW did. The Prophet SAW also said the best Mehr is the one that is the most simple, so yes it is better to keep it low.

 

[Bari🐍]

This is the Mehr our beloved Messenger SAW would give to his wives.

Abu Salama b. 'Abd al-Rahman reported:

I asked 'A'isha, the wife of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ): What is the amount of dower of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)? She said: It was twelve 'uqiyas and one nash. She said: Do you know what is al-nash? I said: No. She said: It is half of uqiya, and it amounts to five hundred dirhams, and that was the dower given by Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) to his wives.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Mehr is security and a gift. No timir or niqab unless it’s made of gold is worth 1.5k.

And I hate how y’all say, it’s sunnah for it to be less as though that means pennies. Y’all act like women are getting 100k mehrs when in reality it’s usually 2-15k. None of these are high, that’s 1-3 months of salary for the average man in America.

Are we gonna act like there isn’t hadith of a Fatima ibn Qais being told not to marry Muawiyah because he was poor.

The mehr the Prophet would give women would be enough for them to survive on their own for at least a few months minimum, so this 1500 isn’t comparable, when you compare it to modern living costs.

Mahr is just a gift nothing more and if we take modern living costs and the likes into account then we also should consider the fact women nowadays opt in for legal marriages where there is monetary security in case of a divorce.

Usama was also poor who the prophet ended up recommending. The Arabic word used to describe muawiyah was the word used for a miserly person so even if he was rich it's as if he is poor.
Muawayah later founded the umayyad khalifate and was very rich.
Forget muaiwayh Ali was poor and the prophet allowed him to marry fatima who he wouldn't want anything but the best for. In both situations low mahr wasn't an issue.

Mahr has no minimum and no maximum. I see no issue if someone asks for a 100 trillion or pennies it's between the husband and wife other people don't need to go around attacking people for there stance on the subject.

 

[Odious Delirium]

This is the Mehr our beloved Messenger SAW would give to his wives.

Abu Salama b. 'Abd al-Rahman reported:

I asked 'A'isha, the wife of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ): What is the amount of dower of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)? She said: It was twelve 'uqiyas and one nash. She said: Do you know what is al-nash? I said: No. She said: It is half of uqiya, and it amounts to five hundred dirhams, and that was the dower given by Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) to his wives.

That is even lower then the mahr fatimi @Qeelbax its bellow 1k and lets not forget those sahaba that had basically nothing and got married by just teaching surahs as mahr.

 

[Qeelbax]

Mahr is just a gift nothing more and if we take modern living costs and the likes into account then we also should consider the fact women nowadays opt in for legal marriages where there is monetary security in case of a divorce.

Usama was also poor who the prophet ended up recommending. The Arabic word used to describe muawiyah was the word used for a miserly person so even if he was rich it's as if he is poor.
Muawayah later founded the umayyad khalifate and was very rich.
Forget muaiwayh Ali was poor and the prophet allowed him to marry fatima who he wouldn't want anything but the best for. In both situations low mahr wasn't an issue.

Mahr has no minimum and no maximum. I see no issue if someone asks for a 100 trillion or pennies it's between the husband and wife other people don't need to go around attacking people for there stance on the subject.

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[Odious Delirium]

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My point is that there was no gaslighting and shaming in the tweet you posted they stated the sunnah and gave there own example.

You actually did the shaming and gaslighting

Now your attacking most somali men with this mahr claim. Most somali men are young and unmarried. Us men aint our parents gen and neither are you women it's a redundant point based off some somali people's qasaro dads not giving there mother's mahr

 

[Nilotic]

Imagine not paying a reasonable mehr; I would never feel comfortable with the woman's family. All my girl cousins would look at me like

 

[Odious Delirium]

Imagine not paying a reasonable mehr; I would never feel comfortable with the woman's family. All my girl cousins would look at me like

Your not a muslim tho in reality there is no such thing as a reasonably mahr islamically speaking. 100 mil is as reasonable as 1k if its within your means.
the family have no say in the matter its between the husband and wife. Who cares about what what other women and men think like ur cousins

 

[Nilotic]

Your not a muslim tho in reality there is no such thing as a reasonably mahr 100 mil is as reasonable as 1k the family have no say in the matter its between the husband and wife.

Yeah, but we have dowry requirements as well, and they are actually pretty high.

The family is exceedingly important; how in the world are you going to have a relationship with them if that's how you start out?

 

[Bari🐍]

I just read the comments and the quoted tweets and I'm shocked. So many Muslims (mostly women) who lack any sort of basic understanding of the deen. They keep saying mehr is a security, yet there is no source for that. They are saying that this is "broke behavior" subhanAllah. Even going as so far to slander the tweet author for sharing advice. Social media is such a cesspool, you can tell they're too attached to the dunya and only think about materialistic things. You don't think Allah will reward a couple for making the marriage simple and affordable?! Just pure ignorance nowadays.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Yeah, but we have dowry requirements as well, and they are actually pretty high.

The family is exceedingly important; how in the world are you going to have a relationship with them if that's how you start out?

We don't have dowery requirements its just a gift and not a security thing like it's being presented by Qeelbax.
its only become one in our day and age because of all the fear mongering and planning with divorce in mind that women do nowadays. (The inheritance a wife gets is a security net)

otherwise the prophet would have told poor people not to get married and would have made a minimum mahr requirements and would have stated in a hadeeth that its purpose is for security but its not hence why small mahr is sunnah. If she wants it as a security net then that's up to her because it's a gift and she can do whatever she wants with it and request however much she wants but for the most part it varies from family to family most care more so about if you can provide or not for there daughter they leave the mahr to the girl but most girls are influenced by those around them so will most likely request similar amounts to the women around them and those in there family. So some will ask for a lot and others will ask for less.

Now with soical media women are shaming each other for daring to take low mahr/high mahr. Both sides are trying to win and influence other women by demonising the other side but for the most part women advising others to ask for low mahr are being demonised and ridiculed by other women more so then not. This thread and the tweets under this one is proof enough.