Married gals how much is your Mehr?

[Prince of Lasanod]

What do you want her to do with 3k?
She can just save up for a bit and gift herself that amount

Am I supposed to deposit her first mortgage payment with the mahr?

 

[Kanye]

That's a mans responsibility inanta xaq bey uu leedahay. If you can't pay just stay single because you'll be responsible for your wife and your family's finances which is more than a mehr.

Precisely this. There's much more efficient ways to spend money, especially if your potential wife has an income close to or even higher than you. Trying to suck out as much money as you can, while it is your prerogative isn't particularly wise. This is 2016 Europe, nobody holds land, livestock or other static assets they can just give up. Most 20-something women have just as much money as their male counterparts and are far less reliant on men than they historically were. Saving up £20k to just appease a woman's ego is ridiculous. There are much more ambitious things a man can do with that sort of amount. The only time to warrant something like that is if she has literally no family around and isn't remotely self sufficient. Marriage can be an ambition-killer for real.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

am I the only one who finds the concept of Mehr outdated?

i know its mandatory and all but is it really necessary in this day and age? if the reason behind it is to give women some money to take care of themselves in case of a divorce, then that was perfectly fine when women completely depended on men. but in this day and age, most womens fallback shouldn't be the few grand they get for Mehr.

i rather have a job, my own savings and not technically be bought for few grands.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

Precisely this. There's much more efficient ways to spend money, especially if your potential wife has an income close to or even higher than you. Trying to suck out as much money as you can, while it is your prerogative isn't particularly wise. This is 2016 Europe, nobody holds land, livestock or other static assets they can just give up. Most 20-something women have just as much money as their male counterparts and are far less reliant on men than they historically were. Saving up £20k to just appease a woman's ego is ridiculous. There are much more ambitious things a man can do with that sort of amount. The only time to warrant something like that is if she has literally no family around and isn't remotely self sufficient. Marriage can be an ambition-killer for real.

exactly!!!
whats the need for such excessive amount specially since you guys are supposed to be married anyways. aren't they supposed to be sharing whatever money they have or is she gonna take that 20k and stash it somewhere while they struggle to make ends meet?

1k is not unreasonable, just have a shopping spree and use whatever else he has (as well as your own money) to start your new life

 

[Halgan]

An apple

 

[DiricLover]

5k is the max I'd ask for. There's no reason to be excessive

 

[SenseSays]

An apple

Chocolates for me.

 

[Mercury]

What about having small mehr and instead go on trips imo thats better

 

[ebyaaney]

am I the only one who finds the concept of Mehr outdated?

i know its mandatory and all but is it really necessary in this day and age? if the reason behind it is to give women some money to take care of themselves in case of a divorce, then that was perfectly fine when women completely depended on men. but in this day and age, most womens fallback shouldn't be the few grand they get for Mehr.

i rather have a job, my own savings and not technically be bought for few grands.

Women who make equal or more than their husbands are a minority, even in the West. Mahr isn't outdated as it is applicable to the majority.

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

Agree to whatever amount and when she starts popping out babies tell her to reduce the amount to 500 or something as you can die any day.

You don't have to pay the meher upfront btw. Most people don't.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

Women who make equal or more to their husbands are a minority, even in the West. Mahr isn't outdated as it is applicable to the majority.

true.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that any woman with a job shouldn't really be so hung up on Mehr. i rather make my own money, even if my husband makes more.

but as you said, this wont apply to the majority of women.

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

I heard if a women asks for a divorce she has to give back the meher. Someone confirm this for me.

 

[Kanye]

exactly!!!
whats the need for such excessive amount specially since you guys are supposed to be married anyways. aren't they supposed to be sharing whatever money they have or is she gonna take that 20k and stash it somewhere while they struggle to make ends meet?

1k is not unreasonable, just have a shopping spree and use whatever else he has (as well as your own money) to start your new life

This. I'd say around 5k GBP is 'fair' but then again it's entirely contextual. If she wants a modest wedding, I don't think it's out of order for her to up the mahr and likewise if she wants something fancier she should be considerate. Also don't most women nowadays see it as a wedding gift? I swear they spend some of the money on whatever rather than sitting on the full amount to fall back on? Also..dare I say 'socialist' Europe is particularly kind on people facing hardships which further takes away from the need for an excessive mahr.

true.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that any woman with a job shouldn't really be so hung up on Mehr. i rather make my own money, even if my husband makes more.

but as you said, this wont apply to the majority of women.

I think the idea behind mahr is to allow women to fall back on something but also make men take marriages serious. You can't just marry a girl, get her pregnant, faff about and just cut on her within a year or two and find another unsuspecting xalimo. Putting up a real amount is good to deter anyone not serious even though most people will be able to tell from character anyway.

 

[Galaeri]

If a girl asks me for 20k I'm going to tell her to walk. I can get much better value for money. Maybe even a 2 for 1 deal or something. Kkk

 

[Dangopopcorn]

am I the only one who finds the concept of Mehr outdated?

i know its mandatory and all but is it really necessary in this day and age? if the reason behind it is to give women some money to take care of themselves in case of a divorce, then that was perfectly fine when women completely depended on men. but in this day and age, most womens fallback shouldn't be the few grand they get for Mehr.

i rather have a job, my own savings and not technically be bought for few grands.

No one is checking for a mans wallet like that tbh. Most women can take care of themselves.
Even if you don't need the money later on the amount should be befitting your status
A young girl marrying for the first time that comes from a good family with a clean name and all the sharaf in the world should be gifted with something appropriate
If your man can afford more than 1k then youre a joke for accepting that
A woman should get what the women around her normally get

 

[bluebird]

I don't really care for mehr I'd be content with very little, but would ask for just enough to keep habro from gossiping about me.

 

[rabshole]

Agree to whatever amount and when she starts popping out babies tell her to reduce the amount to 500 or something as you can die any day.

You don't have to pay the meher upfront btw. Most people don't.

Ogowhee, Gun'nimoda waa u dhalasho

 

[bluebird]

am I the only one who finds the concept of Mehr outdated?

i know its mandatory and all but is it really necessary in this day and age? if the reason behind it is to give women some money to take care of themselves in case of a divorce, then that was perfectly fine when women completely depended on men. but in this day and age, most womens fallback shouldn't be the few grand they get for Mehr.

i rather have a job, my own savings and not technically be bought for few grands.

it's not a bride price, it's a gift and it doesn't have to be money

 

[Galaeri]

I heard if a women asks for a divorce she has to give back the meher. Someone confirm this for me.

If you abuse her verbally or physically she can ask for divorce and to have to hand it over. If she just feels like divorcing you because she doesn't like you she has to give you back her dollarydoos.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

it's not a bride price, it's a gift and it doesn't have to be money

ok maybe i misunderstood the concept of mehr.
the way its talked about, i seemed like a bride price to me. i will read more on it.