Marriage tips for the brothers

[Amk]

Not it is not rare in North America.

how expensive is it? do most women work after marriage?

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

how expensive is it? do most women work after

North America is big so there more options. I live in North America. But the big cities are very expensive. Most Somali woman want to live in big cities so you can never win

 

[Amk]

Erm Khadijah was the one with the money when she was married to the Prophet S.A.W.

"Yes, Khadijah was a wealthy woman, but her wealth was inherited from her deceased husbands and she did not actually run the business or travel or trade herself–she employed men to do all of that. Furthermore, she dedicated herself fully and wholeheartedly to her blessed husband, salla Allahu `alayhi wa sallam, and bore him six children and raised a family. She was her husband’s helpmate and supporter, before and after nubuwwa. She was so careful of his needs and comfort that she cooked home-cooked meals and had them sent up to him while he was spending time reflecting inside Ghar Hira’. Not exactly the model of a high-powered business exec some today portray her as."
taken from https://muslimskeptic.com/2019/08/12/muslim-activists-toxic-feminism-war-motherhood/

 

[Saredo]

how expensive is it? do most women work after marriage?

Les expensive than the UK for sure but again it depends on which city or state. Halimos usually work until they have kids then they stay at home to raise them. Men provide 100%. But each couple is different. Some women still work part time too.

 

[Amk]

North America is big so there more options. I live in North America. But the big cities are very expensive. Most Somali woman want to live in big cities so you can never win

As i mentioned b4, they make life difficult for themselves, they want to live a nice lifestyle but complain about the responsibility it takes to live the lifestyle, ppl are living in a false reality
Why cant ppl be content with their living situation

 

[Angelina]

"Yes, Khadijah was a wealthy woman, but her wealth was inherited from her deceased husbands and she did not actually run the business or travel or trade herself–she employed men to do all of that. Furthermore, she dedicated herself fully and wholeheartedly to her blessed husband, salla Allahu `alayhi wa sallam, and bore him six children and raised a family. She was her husband’s helpmate and supporter, before and after nubuwwa. She was so careful of his needs and comfort that she cooked home-cooked meals and had them sent up to him while he was spending time reflecting inside Ghar Hira’. Not exactly the model of a high-powered business exec some today portray her as."
taken from https://muslimskeptic.com/2019/08/12/muslim-activists-toxic-feminism-war-motherhood/

The higher you go up the ladder the more free time you have as you have employees working for you.

Its a bit obvious that Khadijah had merchants travelling for her. Why would a wealthy person do that?

 

[Angelina]

As i mentioned b4, they make life difficult for themselves, they want to live a nice lifestyle but complain about the responsibility it takes to live the lifestyle, ppl are living in a false reality
Why cant ppl be content with their living situation

Our mothers were very content and look at our community in london? Bad areas, boys joining gangs because they want to make extra money. Shitty inner city schools. All the decent schools are in the nice catchment areas that have higher rent ect.

Wanting better isn't just the women, its also the men and our parents, we should aspire for better and that isn't haram.

We already see what not wanting better has cost the Somali community.

 

[Amk]

The higher you go up the ladder the more free time you have as you have employees working for you.

Its a bit obvious that Khadijah had merchants travelling for her. Why would a wealthy person do that?

The point is that a woman nower days would be working and being a leader of a workplace and doind strenous jobs that are meant for men, while they have children in order to live a lifestyle that they want to enjoy. There is no doubt that women working in more and more office/work style envirements for long times makes them more manly
To survive in a workplae u are competing with other ppl and constatnly surrounded by stress and difficult descions etc and u have to be demanding, all of this is a trait found in men, when u train a women to be a career women u train her to be more like men. Its just a fact
theres a reason why all the wives of the prophet ﷺ didnt work, the sahabas wives didnt work, there were only exceotions u=due to single motherhood, and in that time the caliphate would give them stipends.
Women shouldnt be working, even if they dont have children

 

[reer]

Our mothers were very content and look at our community in london? Bad areas, boys joining gangs because they want to make extra money. Shitty inner city schools. All the decent schools are in the nice catchment areas that have higher rent ect.

Wanting better isn't just the women, its also the men and our parents, we should aspire for better and that isn't haram.

We already see what not wanting better has cost the Somali community.

we were warned.

the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I disown every Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2645; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

 

[Amk]

Our mothers were very content and look at our community in london? Bad areas, boys joining gangs because they want to make extra money. Shitty inner city schools. All the decent schools are in the nice catchment areas that have higher rent ect.

Wanting better isn't just the women, its also the men and our parents, we should aspire for better and that isn't haram.

We already see what not wanting better has cost the Somali community.

Moving to london was the wrong choice in the first place tbh. The whole reason we moved here was for better opportuniy but we were blind to the risks that we would face as the result of it. And now we are seeing all of that. We should want better economically but not at the expense of our deen and family. Thats wat cadaans do, they go to nice schools and have alot of money, but they are the oppsit examples for deen and family. U cant have the best of both worlds in the west unfortunatley

 

[Amk]

we were warned.

the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I disown every Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2645; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

The biggest mistake was wanting to move here for the dunya and thn we failed the deen and the dunya.
How many ppl u see escape the hood with their deen? Most muslims who get out the hood and earn good money compltely leave the deen or just dont care about it anymore due to being raised in the west. its the sad reality

 

[Angelina]

The point is that a woman nower days would be working and being a leader of a workplace and doind strenous jobs that are meant for men, while they have children in order to live a lifestyle that they want to enjoy. There is no doubt that women working in more and more office/work style envirements for long times makes them more manly
To survive in a workplae u are competing with other ppl and constatnly surrounded by stress and difficult descions etc and u have to be demanding, all of this is a trait found in men, when u train a women to be a career women u train her to be more like men. Its just a fact
theres a reason why all the wives of the prophet ﷺ didnt work, the sahabas wives didnt work, there were only exceotions u=due to single motherhood, and in that time the caliphate would give them stipends.
Women shouldnt be working, even if they dont have children

Office work is easy compared to the work women did in history. Anyone who is interested in history will tell you that historically women have always worked. Only the elite and upper middle class women didn't. In Somali culture women would build houses, in agricultural societies women would work the fields like men, which requires physical strengh and working under the hot sun, losing your beauty ect.

The only reason why men think us working now is because we're getting paid for it. Before women weren't getting paid.

I'm using my brain, in an air conditioned office, yet i'm manly whilst my female ancestors used to build stuff.

So clearly, the issue is you think women making money is manly. It seems to be men have no issues making women work even in strenuous conditions if it benefits them.

 

[reer]

Office work is easy compared to the work women did in history. Anyone who is interested will tell you that historically women have always worked. Only the elite and upper middle class women didn't. In Somali culture women would build houses, in agricultural societies women would work the fields like men, which requires physical strengh and working under the hot sun, losing your beauty ect.

The only reason why men think us working now, is because we're getting paid for it. Befor women weren't getting paid.

I'm using my brain, in an air conditioned office, yet i'm manly whilst my female ancestors used to build stuff.

So clearly, the issue is you think women making money is manly. It seems to be men have no issues making women work even in strenuous conditions if it benefits them.

in the year 1800 being a woman was probably less crappy. aboowe macaan i will make the tent while you go fight another dumb clan war and rob some livestock. ill have maraq ready.

 

[Amk]

Office work is easy compared to the work women did in history. Anyone who is interested in history will tell you that historically women have always worked. Only the elite and upper middle class women didn't. In Somali culture women would build houses, in agricultural societies women would work the fields like men, which requires physical strengh and working under the hot sun, losing your beauty ect.

The only reason why men think us working now is because we're getting paid for it. Before women weren't getting paid.

I'm using my brain, in an air conditioned office, yet i'm manly whilst my female ancestors used to build stuff.

So clearly, the issue is you think women making money is manly. It seems to be men have no issues making women work even in strenuous conditions if it benefits them.

those societies in the past are not our go to examples when u want to look at the best examples that our society should be like u look to the sahaba.

 

[Angelina]

in the year 1800 being a woman was probably less crappy. aboowe macaan i will make the tent while you go fight another clan war. ill have maraq ready.

No Somali women. I was shocked at what they had to to do when I read historical accounts.

They build the areesh, looked after ALL the cattle, except for camel(man's job), walked miles for water, cooked, cleaned, birthed kids ect.

Now men want to talk about women working being manly, when really and truly apart from the wives of the wealthy, they all worked jobs that would be seen as manly.

 

[reer]

No Somali women. I was shocked at what they had to to do when I read historical accounts.

They build the areesh, looked after ALL the cattle, except for camel(man's job), walked miles for water, cooked, cleaned, birthed kids ect.

Now men want to talk about women working being manly, when really and truly apart from the wives of the wealthy, they all worked jobs that would be seen as manly.

thats better than dying in a clan war over wells and grazing like the men. which was fairly common.

 

[Angelina]

those societies in the past are not our go to examples when u want to look at the best examples that our society should be like u look to the sahaba.

There is nothing to suggest that in islam women working is manly. The only concern scholars bring up is freemixing.

Its rather insulting for you to think women working their brains makes them manly. The work that people do in today's societies is light work compared to the men and women of the past. How is teaching, being a doctor, writing ect only the domain of men when we have been blessed with aql?

 

[Amk]

No Somali women. I was shocked at what they had to to do when I read historical accounts.

They build the areesh, looked after ALL the cattle, except for camel(man's job), walked miles for water, cooked, cleaned, birthed kids ect.

Now men want to talk about women working being manly, when really and truly apart from the wives of the wealthy, they all worked jobs that would be seen as manly.

Doing chores and working is different. Taking care of cattle cleaning cooking is all chores.

 

[Angelina]

thats better than dying in a clan war over wells and grazing like the men. which was fairly common.

Who told these men to fight each other? Silliness.

 

[Amk]

Who told these men to fight each other? Silliness.

thats a gross over simplification