Thanks for the advice. Where is the social scene at where you are able to meet decent Somali guys? Problem is I don’t see them, ever. There are rarely Somali events where I live.
Marriage question
- Thread starter Amal O
- Start date
thanks!
Where do u live
If you’re unsure about getting married then DON’T you’re still fairly young and have some time. The fact that you’re asking whether you should get married or not in a forum already proves you’re not ready. All these Faraxs telling you to get married are doing too much, have fun, go abroad but document your history with friends and/or family so potential partners don’t feel like there’s something too fishy about your history.
On the other hand don’t listen to these Xalimos saying that you can wait forever and get married at a much older age, the truth is options become more limited to women as they age, getting married in your late 20s is perfectly fine and common for Xalimos and getting married in your early 30s is also possible but as you get even older than that you’re left with Faraxs that are divorced with kids and baggage, married Faraxs who want you to be their second wife, unskilled unwanted faraxs who fall into obscurity, gangster Faraxs who’ve settled down but gotten up to all sorts nasty behaviour etc. you’ll be lucky to find the autistic engineer who doesn’t want nor care for human relationships in their mid to late 30s that doesn’t have a past.
On the other hand don’t listen to these Xalimos saying that you can wait forever and get married at a much older age, the truth is options become more limited to women as they age, getting married in your late 20s is perfectly fine and common for Xalimos and getting married in your early 30s is also possible but as you get even older than that you’re left with Faraxs that are divorced with kids and baggage, married Faraxs who want you to be their second wife, unskilled unwanted faraxs who fall into obscurity, gangster Faraxs who’ve settled down but gotten up to all sorts nasty behaviour etc. you’ll be lucky to find the autistic engineer who doesn’t want nor care for human relationships in their mid to late 30s that doesn’t have a past.
Great tip. Thank you
I live in a large metropolitan city with a sizeable Somali population.
There are numerous opportunities to meet professionals here though I have not explored that avenue. You may want to consider your family and their networks. If you have a shortage of options where you live and are set on a Somali guy, expand your geographic area and look online.
Ask yourself a few questions too:
There are numerous opportunities to meet professionals here though I have not explored that avenue. You may want to consider your family and their networks. If you have a shortage of options where you live and are set on a Somali guy, expand your geographic area and look online.
Ask yourself a few questions too:
- Do you want to get married now or down the road?
- Is your decision influenced by 'fear mongering' or a true desire to wed shortly?
- Are you motivated to look due to social, financial or family pressure?
- What type of man do you want to marry, and what attributes does he possess (age, appearance, lifestyle, relationship history, education, religiosity, income, values and other character traits)?
- What are your deal breakers?
- I don't think people hear this much, but your value doesn't stem from a romantic relationship, i.e. marriage.
- Your existing relationships and roles matter, so don't undermine them as you have much to contribute as an (aunt, sister, daughter, friend, acquaintance, stranger, colleague or classmate).
- Enjoy the interim of being single because you don't know how long that will last. People can be so future-focused that they forget to enjoy it now.
- Alf has a role to play in this (many women have options, but some refuse for various reasons).
- The pool of never-married men may shrink, but they do not disappear. More people in the West are marrying later now. As men age, they also become more successful. As I have asserted, your age isn't a deal breaker to all, and they aren't as fixated as you think.
- Everyone is different and has different standards and expectations. Anyone who claims to speak for everyone is acting foolish.
- Everyone alive is an outlier in some way. Out of every combination that could have been produced, it was them. I would ignore probabilistic calculations and statistics meant to mislead that don't speak for the anecdotal experiences of others.
- For instance, both my cousins were 35+ when they married. One married a businessman; the other married a double Ph.D. in the STEMS, and both have four kids. As a caveat, I should mention they married from our clan.
- Their spouses were never previously married, and they show no interest in polygamy. So not the sort to catastrophize about women and dwindling options/choices.
I've seen all the advice on here but I think the best thing is to get engaged for an extended time asap. Why? With an engagement you can always walk away and you get to vet whoever your planning to marry 
Win win.
Win win.
