Madonna/ho complex

[HalimaJ]

Madonna/ho complex

Reading about it earlier and it got me thinking....

Some men put women in categories 'the madonna/ ho'.

Like the timid, matronly and motherly girl is considered the madonna.

Where as the one they are attracted to and is womanly and not is vilified as the ho.

That is the madonna/ho complex.

Doesn't have much to do with the girl being unchaste or anything. The simple fact that she is attractive and desirable can make a guy look at her as being trouble.

Also, I was reading that men like that have problems when they get married, as they try to marry the 'Madonna' assexual maternal figure, but they don't find her attractive. This causes problems as you can imagine.

Interesting psychology.

Has any man here battled this or feels this way?

 

[Daacad90]

 

[CaliTedesse]

Why do *some men have this weird need to put women in boxes?

Reading about it earlier and it got me thinking....

Elaborate more

 

[CaliTedesse]

I don't think it's right to put people in boxes wether the person is a male or a female but I agree males here are quicker to judge.

 

[Madd]

Madonna/ho complex

Reading about it earlier and it got me thinking....

Some men put women in categories 'the madonna/ ho'.

Like the timid, matronly and motherly girl is considered the madonna.

Where as the one they are attracted to and is womanly is vilified as the ho.

That is the madonna/ho complex.

Doesn't have much to do with the girl being unchaste or anything. The simple fact that she is attractive and desirable can make a guy look at her as being trouble.

Also, I was reading that men like that have problems when they get married, as they try to marry the 'Madonna' maternal figure, but they don't find her attractive, because they look down on the ones they desire.

Interesting psychology.

Has any man here battled this or feels this way?

I love when women try to understand men. You don't even fucking understand each other. So how do you fucking understand men.

 

[HalimaJ]

I love when women try to understand men. You don't even fucking understand each other. So how do you fucking understand men.

I'm interested in psychology. So i'm looking at it from that perspective.

This is very different from my usual sspot posts, which I admit can be judgemental.

 

[HalimaJ]

I don't think it's right to put people in boxes wether the person is a male or a female but I agree males here are quicker to judge.

Read my post, i've elaborated.

It should give you an understanding of what I meant. It is deeper than usual judgement.

 

[CaliTedesse]

Madonna/ho complex

Reading about it earlier and it got me thinking....

Some men put women in categories 'the madonna/ ho'.

Like the timid, matronly and motherly girl is considered the madonna.

Where as the one they are attracted to and is womanly and not is vilified as the ho.

That is the madonna/ho complex.

Doesn't have much to do with the girl being unchaste or anything. The simple fact that she is attractive and desirable can make a guy look at her as being trouble.

Also, I was reading that men like that have problems when they get married, as they try to marry the 'Madonna' assexual maternal figure, but they don't find her attractive. This causes problems as you can imagine.

Interesting psychology.

Has any man here battled this or feels this way?

Aha now it's more clear. Yes some men have this especially in this forum it's true.

 

[HalimaJ]

Aha now it's more clear. Yes some men have this especially in this forum it's true.

I was thinking mostly outside. Tbh, i don't think this thinking is that common on sspot suprisingly or even that common in the Somali community.

Sspot men are toxic in other ways.

I could be wrong, which Is why i'm asking..

 

[HalimaJ]

@Madd

I'm not talking about the Madonna the singer!!!



Madonna is the italian word for pure virgin or angel.

 

[Hodan from HR]

This is why I am against a woman cooking 3 meals everyday, cleaning after your man, checking up on him every hour while he is at work, asking him if he ate lunch

Basically, babying and smothering your man. Alot of newly married girls make the mistake of thinking that is what men want. His hooyo did that for him and he hates it!

A woman is better of being his halal ho if she desire a long lasting marriage. Sign up for that pole dancing class, cook once in a while, take care of yourself while he is away. He doesn't need you mothering him. HE IS A GROWN MAN!

Then see him coming home first thing after work to take you out to dinner dates

 

[Madd]

@Madd

I'm not talking about the Madonna the singer!!!



Madonna is the italian word for pure virgin or angel.

oh okay but it still doesn't negate me point.

 

[Madd]

This is why I am against a woman cooking 3 meals everyday, cleaning after your man, checking up on him every hour while he is at work, asking him if he ate lunch

Basically, babying and smothering your man. Alot of newly married girls make the mistake of thinking that is men want. His hooyo did that for him and he hates it!

A woman is better of being his halal ho if she desire a long lasting marriage. Sign up for that pole dancing class, cook once in a while, take care of yourself while he is away. He doesn't need you mothering him. HE IS A GROWN MAN!

Then see him coming home first thing after work to take you out to dinner dates

once again another women who doesn't know what she is talking about

 

[Ayaanle__]

men aren’t complicated walaal the last thing I think of when I want to move to an attractive woman is if she’s trouble

when the meat is up the brain is switched off

 

[HalimaJ]

once again another women who doesn't know what she is talking about

I was reading an article about what @Tameable Qumayo (brillian name btw) mentioned, written by a marriage therapist.

Apparently, a trend this therapist realised was that after a while, the husband lost attraction as the woman ends up being in 'mummy' mode, rather than being his lover.

Cooking and cleaning is minor, but some women take it a step too far apparently and literally morph into his hooyo and then sexual attraction dies. Men encourage this behaviour in the begining, until it is too late.

I mean who is going to continue being attracted to a woman that behaves just like his hooyo?

Guys do you agree?

 

[Madd]

I was reading an article about what @Tameable Qumayo (brillian name btw) mentioned, written by a marriage therapist.

Apparently, a trend this therapist realised was that after a while, the husband lost attraction as the woman ends up being in 'mummy' mode, rather than being his lover.

Cooking and cleaning is minor, but some women take it a step too far apparently and literally morph into his hooyo and then sexual attraction dies. Men encourage this behaviour in the begining, until it is too late.

I mean who is going to continue being attracted to a woman that behaves just like his hooyo?

Guys do you agree?

ok your one of those. You have selected views.

 

[Hodan from HR]

I was reading an article about what @Tameable Qumayo (brillian name btw) mentioned, written by a marriage therapist.

Apparently, a trend this therapist realised was that after a while, the husband lost attraction as the woman ends up being in 'mummy' mode, rather than being his lover.

Cooking and cleaning is minor, but some women take it a step too far apparently and literally morph into his hooyo and then sexual attraction dies. Men encourage this behaviour in the begining, until it is too late.

I mean who is going to continue being attracted to a woman that behaves just like his hooyo?

Guys do you agree?

There's a different between being submissive and a doormat. It is okay to be a submissive woman but overdoing it to the point you can't speak up your mind is a recipe for disaster. True, men look for their mother in a wife. Finding that balance as a woman, is not easy tbh.

In the beginning stages of the relationship, he will be flattered but with time, he starts feeling guilty because deep down a man of integrity desires his woman to speak her mind, of course in a respectful way.

If she continues smothering, he starts losing the spark/sexual attraction as she starts resembling his mother in mannerism.

Somali girls are conditioned to be yes-women in their marriages, then you see our men jumping from one woman to another in the name of polygamy. It isn't that their wives weren't loving and supportive but they lost that spark/sexual attraction after she treats him like a little boy... as his hooyo does.