Long distance parenting

[En_Sabah Nur]

Anybody been away from their kids for a long time? I’m looking to marry a second wife in Somalia, and inshallah she will have sons for me. I won’t be able to go there for more than one month or two out of the year. I figure the kids will be fine as they will be raised by their mother and relatives and will be taught diin and dhaqan. Also, with internet connection, and video calls, you can chat often.

 

[Lebron James]

Just stay with your kids n raise them sxb you supposed to be the man of the house how you living your naag and little kids alone for over months

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

Just stay with your kids n raise them sxb you supposed to be the man of the house how you living your naag and little kids alone for over months

The plan is to eventually bring them to the west when they’re 18 inshallah. The benefit is also they can learn the language and diin back home and the education system is good there too. I know a few brother who’ve been doing this for years and they seem happy.

 

[Bundasliga]

Anybody been away from their kids for a long time? I’m looking to marry a second wife in Somalia, and inshallah she will have sons for me. I won’t be able to go there for more than one month or two out of the year. I figure the kids will be fine as they will be raised by their mother and relatives and will be taught diin and dhaqan. Also, with internet connection, and video calls, you can chat often.

It's your duty to raise them not only the mothers one.

You can't protect & raise them properly & the kids have little connection to their father .

 

[Abdi Engineer]

Anybody been away from their kids for a long time? I’m looking to marry a second wife in Somalia, and inshallah she will have sons for me. I won’t be able to go there for more than one month or two out of the year. I figure the kids will be fine as they will be raised by their mother and relatives and will be taught diin and dhaqan. Also, with internet connection, and video calls, you can chat often.

The plan is to eventually bring them to the west when they’re 18 inshallah. The benefit is also they can learn the language and diin back home and the education system is good there too. I know a few brother who’ve been doing this for years and they seem happy.

I plan on doing the same thing inshallah. I plan on having kids in Burco, and when they're starting High School, i will bring them to the US. I don't want my kids growing up in degenerate California, i want them to learn the diin and dhaqan. Within the first month they're born, i will go to the nearest US embassy and acquire their citizenship and SSN

 

[Lebron James]

The plan is to eventually bring them to the west when they’re 18 inshallah. The benefit is also they can learn the language and diin back home and the education system is good there too. I know a few brother who’ve been doing this for years and they seem happy.

What’s the point of even having kids then bro, you see the 2 months out of a year until they’re 18? That’s basically a broken home, my advice is either you fully move there or start a family in the west.

 

[Rocktheboat]

"Long distance parenting"

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

I plan on doing the same thing inshallah. I plan on having kids in Burco, and when they're starting High School, i will bring them to the US. I don't want my kids growing up in degenerate California, i want them to learn the diin and dhaqan. Within the first month they're born, i will go to the nearest US embassy and acquire their citizenship and SSN

Smart man. It’s hard to teach kids language, culture and diin in the west. They are constantly bombarded by western propaganda. There are also a lot of beautiful, religious women in Somalia who don’t even want to come to the west and are happy raising kids back home.

 

[Hair Guru]

Anybody been away from their kids for a long time? I’m looking to marry a second wife in Somalia, and inshallah she will have sons for me. I won’t be able to go there for more than one month or two out of the year. I figure the kids will be fine as they will be raised by their mother and relatives and will be taught diin and dhaqan. Also, with internet connection, and video calls, you can chat often.

I'm a girl and tbh there's a lot you need to learn about us and our mindset/psychology.

Unlike men, women are more drawn to security and emotional connection. Whilst you're away, just remember she is in a town/city full of other men, some very intelligent, some very handsome, some she grew up with, had her eyes on before you or in extreme cases, some who she may have had a lowkey relationship with when she was younger. Women are human after all.

A kind, good-looking man who respects you and protects you with a similar upbringing to you (ie. in her case a somali guy raised in somalia and understands the trauma of civil war and alshab**) will be 10 X more valued to her than a diaspora with some Western privileges who barely sees you.

Think about what you will offer her instead of what Allah blessed you with that you didn't work for (ie. born in the West). What is so special about you that she will not replace you? What is special about you compared to say,, another somali guy in the diaspora to add to that? After all you plan to barely see her and all you offer is a passport (from what you have mentioned in the post).

Also, I think I saw you reply that women in somalia are "religious" and happy to raise kids back home. Yes sure that may be true in a few cases, but you can't generalise millions of women. If you want a good idea of the personalities of somali women back home, maybe go visit Somalia for a while and don't generalise.

It seems you generalise muslim girls the same way some Westerners talk about muslim girls who grew up in the west - "religious", "takes care of kids", "less maintainance", "doesn't talk back" etc.

My advice would be try making friendships with women back home or live there for a bit so you can get to know them a bit better.

Good luck!

 

[Jaydaan]

Anybody been away from their kids for a long time? I’m looking to marry a second wife in Somalia, and inshallah she will have sons for me. I won’t be able to go there for more than one month or two out of the year. I figure the kids will be fine as they will be raised by their mother and relatives and will be taught diin and dhaqan. Also, with internet connection, and video calls, you can chat often.

Helicopter dad eh. Basically letting other people raise your kid. Just don’t blame others later

 

[Angelina]

This guy is a troll.

He knows this thread will trigger people.

He said in an post that he doesn't have a higher paying job. Has a 1st wife who he makes pays the bills.

Wants a 2nd wife, even though he fully doesn't provide for the 1st.

Doesn't want to spend enough time with the 2nd. He wants to take away her rights by exploiting her poverty. He even said a woman in Somalia won't refuse to have a husband only one month of the year 'because they need money'.

And he to make this worse, he wants his kids to grow up without an abo, he only sees one month.

Basically, this man wants to abuse polygamy, make a mockery of marriage, wants to take women's Islamic rights all for his libido and 'muh sons' he isn't going to raise.

This is going to be my last post, but you're a nacaas and an attention seeking troll.

 

[NordicSomali]

This guy is a troll.

He knows this thread will trigger people.

He said in an post that he doesn't have a higher paying job. Has a 1st wife who he makes pays the bills.

Wants a 2nd wife, even though he fully doesn't provide for the 1st.

Doesn't want to spend enough time with the 2nd. He wants to take away her rights by exploiting her poverty. He even said a woman in Somalia won't refuse to have a husband only one month of the year 'because they need money'.

And he to make this worse, he wants his kids to grow up without an abo, he only sees one month.

Basically, this man wants to abuse polygamy, make a mockery of marriage, wants to take women's Islamic rights all for his libido and 'muh sons' he isn't going to raise.

This is going to be my last post, but you're a nacaas and an attention seeking troll.

why doesn’t he use condom if he wants to have sex only, why make kids you never see?

 

[Mercury]

Anybody been away from their kids for a long time? I’m looking to marry a second wife in Somalia, and inshallah she will have sons for me. I won’t be able to go there for more than one month or two out of the year. I figure the kids will be fine as they will be raised by their mother and relatives and will be taught diin and dhaqan. Also, with internet connection, and video calls, you can chat often.

Whats the point with getting married having kids you only see twice a month and islamically the man isn't supposed to be gone more than 4 months from his wife funny how someone who preach about diin and dhaqan doesn't even know about this

 

[karkaar]

unless you're rich I wouldn't advise you to do so.If you're hell bent on having more kids move over there once your children here have grown and begin raising a second batch in somalia.

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

I'm a girl and tbh there's a lot you need to learn about us and our mindset/psychology.

Unlike men, women are more drawn to security and emotional connection. Whilst you're away, just remember she is in a town/city full of other men, some very intelligent, some very handsome, some she grew up with, had her eyes on before you or in extreme cases, some who she may have had a lowkey relationship with when she was younger. Women are human after all.

A kind, good-looking man who respects you and protects you with a similar upbringing to you (ie. in her case a somali guy raised in somalia and understands the trauma of civil war and alshab**) will be 10 X more valued to her than a diaspora with some Western privileges who barely sees you.

Think about what you will offer her instead of what Allah blessed you with that you didn't work for (ie. born in the West). What is so special about you that she will not replace you? What is special about you compared to say,, another somali guy in the diaspora to add to that? After all you plan to barely see her and all you offer is a passport (from what you have mentioned in the post).

Also, I think I saw you reply that women in somalia are "religious" and happy to raise kids back home. Yes sure that may be true in a few cases, but you can't generalise millions of women. If you want a good idea of the personalities of somali women back home, maybe go visit Somalia for a while and don't generalise.

It seems you generalise muslim girls the same way some Westerners talk about muslim girls who grew up in the west - "religious", "takes care of kids", "less maintainance", "doesn't talk back" etc.

My advice would be try making friendships with women back home or live there for a bit so you can get to know them a bit better.

Good luck!

Thanks for providing your perspective sister.

I will make sure her relatives keep an eye on her. Somalia is not like the west, women are religious and there is a big community that can keep on eye on them. Also, a lot of the families are poor and you’re not just supporting her but her whole family so they will be grateful and will make sure their daughter is behaving otherwise it will make the whole family look bad. You also have to remember, it’s not like the west, someone like me marrying these women is like winning the lottery for them. Women back home also treat you like a king.

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

Helicopter dad eh. Basically letting other people raise your kid. Just don’t blame others later

Like I said, there are fathers in the west who spends hours working and rarely see their kids. So it’s not different. I’m spending quality time with them when I’m there. Children need their mothers, a roof over their heads and economic security. This is what I’m providing for them back home

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

This guy is a troll.

He knows this thread will trigger people.

He said in an post that he doesn't have a higher paying job. Has a 1st wife who he makes pays the bills.

Wants a 2nd wife, even though he fully doesn't provide for the 1st.

Doesn't want to spend enough time with the 2nd. He wants to take away her rights by exploiting her poverty. He even said a woman in Somalia won't refuse to have a husband only one month of the year 'because they need money'.

And he to make this worse, he wants his kids to grow up without an abo, he only sees one month.

Basically, this man wants to abuse polygamy, make a mockery of marriage, wants to take women's Islamic rights all for his libido and 'muh sons' he isn't going to raise.

This is going to be my last post, but you're a nacaas and an attention seeking troll.

Why don’t you just share your opinion without insulting me and calling me a troll?

My first wife works, she makes good money. But that’s not the only important thing to her. She doesn’t want to raise our kids as a single mother in the west, so she doesn’t complain about paying half the bills. She says she’s happy contributing and this is better for her than being single or divorced like many of the Somali women her age. She’s religious and not materialistic. Alxamduliallah

 

[Angelina]

Why don’t you just share your opinion without insulting me and calling me a troll?

My first wife works, she makes good money. But that’s not the only important thing to her. She doesn’t want to raise our kids as a single mother in the west, so she doesn’t complain about paying half the bills. She says she’s happy contributing and this is better for her than being single or divorced like many of the Somali women her age. She’s religious and not materialistic. Alxamduliallah

She's already near enough a single mother.

You don't help around the house. (Your words)

She pays the bills (your words)

So what do you provide? Well apart from sperm?

 

[Hybrid()]

@En_Sabah Nur why don't you just tell the truth and say you're not happy with your current marriage. you're just looking for an excuse to divorce her which will happen obviously since no women who's contributing half of household bills will put up with such nonsense. If you decide to, just don't be another deadbeat geeljirre and keep in touch with your blood.
As for marrying from back home, you'll need at least $300 a month to secure a pretty xalimo with Deen iyo akhlaaq. marrying from a less crowded city like boorama will be better for you

 

[Angelina]

@En_Sabah Nur why don't you just tell the truth and say you're not happy with your with your current marriage. you're just looking for an excuse to divorce her which will happen obviously since no women who's contributing half of household bills will put up with such nonsense. If you decide to, just don't be another deadbeat geeljirre and keep in touch with your blood.
As for marrying from back home, you'll need at least $300 a month to secure a pretty xalimo with Deen iyo akhlaaq. marrying from a less crowded city like boorama will be better for you

He is delusional.

I highly doubt he's married. From everything he is saying, any woman that is with him is practically a single mother, he provides any women with his with 0 incentives to be with him. No full provision, no help, and with the one backhome, no husband for 11 months of the yr.

Also, if this man had an extra $300 he would be putting it into his current household which his wife pays. This is what I mean when I say some Somali men have messed up priorities and why divorce is high.