Let's face the facts: Xalimos accept their unfair treatment

[Wervelwind]

We all know that if both the man and woman work, the woman will most likely do most of the housework too. However, Somali women keep marrying these guys. Instead of complaining, why not stay single or find that rare guy who will treat you fair? I've read plenty of comments from xalimos that complain about this but y'all still be marrying somali men

 

[Xaruun]

Cooking and cleaning aren’t the only chores. There’s shopping, picking people up, fixing broken equipment and machinery, mowing the lawn, managing the finances etc etc.

 

[elite1337]

not this again

 

[Jaydaan]

If they can stay single and find a rare guy, then the rare guy wouldn’t be rare....he would be the norm

 

[TekNiKo]

Listen we should help our wives like the white man if your willing for her to pay 50/50 its only fair. Shes a human being too. I have no problem cooking and she can do the cleaning. Or vice versa.

Its not that big of a deal.

 

[Lostbox]

Same way their far to many thirty men with no standards other than a having pulse. On the opposite end their a far to many women who would settle for a manchild because they have no self-esteem

 

[Amirah]

We all know that if both the man and woman work, the woman will most likely do most of the housework too. However, Somali women keep marrying these guys. Instead of complaining, why not stay single or find that rare guy who will treat you fair? I've read plenty of comments from xalimos that complain about this but y'all still be marrying somali men

Things are changing. More and more girls are staying single longer to find the right guy or marrying out. More are ending their marriages within the first 5 years. Birth rates and the average length of marriages have both drastically decreased. Children from multiple fathers & older first time parents are becoming the norm. And the impact of these will not be fully recognized until a generation or two.

 

[Amirah]

Cooking and cleaning aren’t the only chores. There’s shopping, picking people up, fixing broken equipment and machinery, mowing the lawn, managing the finances etc etc.

Yeah and in Somali community all of that is done by the mother usually. Maybe with the exception of the lawn. And most households still hire a landscaper even when the father is present. Managing the finance, hauling around the kids, shopping and school/doctor appointments, cooking, cleaning is 100% the mothers job even while working full time. And this is still the case not just for the older crowd but even in marriages between diaspora born/raised Somali couples.

 

[alt]

We all know that if both the man and woman work, the woman will most likely do most of the housework too. However, Somali women keep marrying these guys. Instead of complaining, why not stay single or find that rare guy who will treat you fair? I've read plenty of comments from xalimos that complain about this but y'all still be marrying somali men

You highlighted a very interesting trend that’s present in many countries. Women globally are in the workforce but domestic labour is still largely performed by them. Sociologists would call this a dual burden.

I would say in the case of Diaspora Somalis, it’s because girls are raised by stay at home mothers who raise them not with a modern context in mind, but in a similar manner to how their own mothers raised them. To be housewives, even when this is no longer realistic for most women.

In the case of boys, it’s confusing— in traditional Somali society, the role of young unmarried men was to work alongside their fathers and learn their trade or craft, however, with child labour laws and state schooling, you can’t do that. So boys go to school instead, yet aren’t expected to do chores whereas girls still do most of the chores AND go to school.

 

[Xaruun]

Yeah and in Somali community all of that is done by the mother usually. Maybe with the exception of the lawn. And most households still hire a landscaper even when the father is present. Managing the finance, hauling around the kids, shopping and school/doctor appointments, cooking, cleaning is 100% the mothers job even while working full time. And this is still the case not just for the older crowd but even in marriages between diaspora born/raised Somali couples.