Ladies of sspot , have you ever struggled with modesty?

Discussion in 'Women's Den' started by MariaMaria, Dec 8, 2018.

  1. MariaMaria

    MariaMaria Education, Peace and Prosperity

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    I stopped wearing my hijab a few months ago.

    First I stopped wearing abayas years ago in my teens to maxi skirts and then I started wearing jeans and turbans , ultimately I lost my connection to the hijab completely and willingness to take modesty seriously to the extent that I should so instead of hiding behind the new hijabi trend and try change the hijabi to be modern with the front of my hair showing, I've decided to take it off until I'm ready to take it seriously.

    I felt like a hypocrite wearing whilst not wanting to. I'm not a social media type of person. I think there are actually only 2 pictures of me online that I've posted so this isn't about fashion or looks for me.

    I'm not a Muslim feminist who believes it's 2018 so Islam should move with the times but I understand I should be fully committed to the hijab and modesty and until the day that I can, I will not be wearing it.

    insha'Allah I'll find my way back to full modesty again soon.

    @Azirah Anonymous @HIGH PRIESTESS @Reiko @RICH @Desert Flower @Blade1 @xalimathe6 @Halimo-2018 @CaliSomali @sophisticate @Daughter of samaale @Emily @x
     
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  2. kobe

    kobe Highly Respected

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    I will never understand this whole "connection with the hijab" business, niggas be trying too hard to be deep.
     
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  3. Dalmoor

    Dalmoor Believer of his choice

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    :nvjpqts: InshaAllah
     
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  4. MariaMaria

    MariaMaria Education, Peace and Prosperity

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    hijab/modesty is a big part of my deen so I should deep it lol
     
  5. Blade1

    Blade1 Ashy Abdi pleaser

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    I've never per say struggled with hijab outwardly I have internally struggled with hijab especially since its so much more rarer to see others fully hijab with abaya and hijab with no hair or body showing everyday.
    I haven't said it and I don't say my struggles because I don't want people to assume I hate wearing the hijab because I don't I love it and the meaning behind it. But who doenst want to show off their beauty I'm always told I have a nice body and pretty thick long hair and I want to wear an outfit I bought that might not be hijabi friendly, but I try to renew my intention every morning and remember the rewards I get for covering especially in my youth.
    I like that I cover even when my iman is going up and down no one else needs to know it's just for me and obviously most important islam is a test and you'll never be ready to wear hijab or pray or etc. You do it because you're muslim and Allah asks that of us.
    Inshallah you can put it back on but don't ever think you'll be ready you won't be the day you'll be ready is after you've put it on and the longer you want the harder it'll get:it0tdo8:
    Just make dua and small steps to get back to hijab even now when your struggling most that's when you get the most reward since its your jihad your internal struggle.
     
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  6. Blade1

    Blade1 Ashy Abdi pleaser

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    Mens hijab isn't that much different to the men around us. Keeping a beard one length hair, covering from bellybutton down to knee with nothing thigh, see through or showing your thighs shape and not wearing silk or gold.
    This is all easy
    Hijab for a women in the west especially is a big deal you will have so many struggles that come from it that you need to consider beforehand
     
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  7. Blade1

    Blade1 Ashy Abdi pleaser

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    Maria don't think you have to be perfect to wear the hijab it's better to wear hijab with hair showing infront as long as your neeya is good. My friends are literally the same as you and I try to advice them and spur them on but it's their choice at the end.
     
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  8. Azirah Anonymous

    Azirah Anonymous

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    And InshaAllah you will find your way to modesty!

    Allah tests people in different ways, some struggle with hijab others don’t. I personally haven’t really struggled with the hijab. Only started wearing since 2013, so 5 years ago. I decided to wear it when I started practicing not for cultural reasons.

    It always makes me sad to see other sisters taking their hijab off. Idk if it’s just me but I have seen a lot of sisters doing the same thing the past few months.

    People will never truly understand your struggle.

    I had times where I felt awkward or uncomfortable wearing it but that’s caadi I think. Also there was a time where I started following a lot of these hijabi bloggers and it really made me feel a type of way. I loved their style (eventhough it was too tight and not very Islamic) and there was me, wearing a regular headscarf and black abayas. I was comparing myself a lot. Decided to unfollow them and even deleted insta. This was like 3/4 years ago.

    Now you can say I’m just insecure or whatever but the people you constantly see on your newsfeed, timeline does have an affect on you. Surrounding yourself with sisters who wear the correct hijab and following them online helps a lot.

    And now, wallahi I love wearing it.

    Always make Dua that Allah swt will make you love whatever He loves. Once you love it, it won’t be burden anymore.
     
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  9. Neslihan

    Neslihan with hardship comes ease

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    I think most of us had struggled with something related to the hijab at one point or other so don't feel bad about it abayo. I was made to wear it since very young so I always feel guilty and physically wrong when I think to take it off. My struggle is sometime I want to fit in with the others and don't always wear it properly (the hair peeking in front)
     
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  10. RICH

    RICH Aabo’s source of blessing from Allaah.

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    It makes me sad to rad that you stopped wearing the hijab. May Allaah make it easy for you sis.

    I see what you mean though. I used to struggle with it as well, but now I really don’t care much about it.

    How did your parents and others react?
     
  11. Lamiis

    Lamiis

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    I don’t wear hijab but i’m a little modest with what I wear . I don’t wear reveling clothes out in public ( except parties+weddings)
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2018
  12. MariaMaria

    MariaMaria Education, Peace and Prosperity

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    Very shocked , I kept it to myself for a long time so it was out of nowhere for them
     
  13. The alchemist

    The alchemist Whatever the cost.

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    Isn't the act of wearing it and being modest when you least feel like it the whole purpose of being tested? I mean, everyone would do the right thing if it felt good and comfortable, right? Im not a female so i can't really speak on it, but just a thought.
     
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  14. Cazzo

    Cazzo

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    I never really understood that argument that non-hijabis make: "I feel like I'm disrespecting the religion by not wanting to wear the hijab so I'm going to just take it off until I feel pious at some point in my life again". Lol, I don't really recall Allah (swt) saying that you have to be a 100% pious ayeeyo to able to wear the hijab. Yes, modesty in behavior is just as important as modesty in appearance, but just because you don't act very modest doesn't disqualify you from dressing modestly. Holding that attitude is very toxic honestly because that seriously minimizes the importance of the hijab in Islam. I'll admit however that as a Muslim woman myself--I've never really thought about it before. I think it has to do with environment; I grew up in a very strong Somali community where many of the girls would wear jilbaabs and qamaars, so I wasn't really exposed to an alternative because Muslim always = hijabi. Anyways, I hope inshallah Allah (swt) will safely guide you down your path into becoming the best Muslim you can be, ameen.
     
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  15. HIGH PRIESTESS

    HIGH PRIESTESS

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    I understand where you are coming from sis, and you’re not the only one. I’ve struggled with the hijab for as long as I can remember (mainly because it was forced on me at a young age). My sister is a lot more relaxed and at peace with the hijab, but I’ve never understood its purpose. You can be modest without wearing the hijab, just don’t show your shoulders, legs or wear anything revealing. I’m a practising Muslim but I’ve always hated how people judge you based off of your looks, it’s just stupid. I can be a better Muslim than a hijabi, but somehow people are convinced that hijabis are angels who have memorised the Quran and fast every Monday and Thursday.
     
  16. Yusra Luuza

    Yusra Luuza

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    I was struggling too and overcame it. Now back to struggling again. It’s hard to be obedient Muslim girl :(
     
  17. CaliSomali

    CaliSomali

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    I don't wear the hijab. It's so hard for me living somewhere with barely any Muslims and being the one to stand out. I used to when I was younger (early teens) but I faced some discrimination from kids and adults alike. The whole experience kind of scarred me, ngl. I hated the feeling of being a target. A hijab is so visible and it's scary when grown men shout some dumb shit at you.

    Inshallah I hope to start covering again once more. You're not alone though sis.
    :friendhug:
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2018
  18. Yungmulababy23

    Yungmulababy23

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    Who cares islam isn't the answer do what you want, but just know somali people are very cruel prepare to get exiled. Maybe even killed if you ditch islam, somali people are nuts.
     
  19. Halimo-2018

    Halimo-2018

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    Everyday hun..my hijab is easy i wear toght dresses or skirts sometimes. inshaAllah i will get my s** together soon.
     
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