Ladies, don't be afraid to shoot your shot!
- Thread starter mohamedismail
- Start date
The guys back home are like that because they haven't had to face years of feminist indoctrination from when they're toddlers.
In the west, we have been programmed to believe being a man is "TOXIC" and that we should be more in touch with our "feminine side".
This is how vulnerable and naive women get setup to be taken advantage. This is not sisterly advice nor is it Islamic in any way. Young women shouldn’t do that based on a random person’s word. Save yourselves the trauma.
There’s more respectable ways to find marriage.
I’d like to add that young people have a fantasy of who a person is from afar so women will fall for a facade instead of the real person. Once a predatory man knows he doesn’t reciprocate back those feelings, he’ll still use her to get his desires met. Then, discard her because he never truly wanted her.
@mohamedismail Would you tell your sisters to shoot their shot with men?
There’s more respectable ways to find marriage.
I’d like to add that young people have a fantasy of who a person is from afar so women will fall for a facade instead of the real person. Once a predatory man knows he doesn’t reciprocate back those feelings, he’ll still use her to get his desires met. Then, discard her because he never truly wanted her.
@mohamedismail Would you tell your sisters to shoot their shot with men?
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@mohamedismail I already know you a sassy abdi the way you be throwing around these dislikes, so of course you are the type to want a women to spit game on you, you want to be the prize and get hit with the "here is my waalis number" you zesty ass nigga. Go to the gym tonight lift some iron and rethink your life you Bad B
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Just asking how would she make it obvious? Would following him on instagram make it obvious?
Keep it a boqol
VIP
if you have never met the person and have no means to be able to through social settings irl, hit the follow and he should dm you first and initiate.
However if you are able to see this person irl and interact with them, just be nice and warm and causal. hopefully then it would lead to them asking you for contact info and taking it from there.
This is the real reason why miskeen, pious Xalimos stay single until their 30s and then their mother/father gets concerned and starts making arranged marriages and the more wild and social types get married in their 20s.
I remember seeing a thread about how Faraxs don’t care about a women’s past and such but in reality Somali men absolutely care about a women’s past but the ones who are more likely to reach out and flirt etc are the ones more likely to have a past, while the good Xalimos stay invisible cause they avoid even showing interest towards men they want, they’re homebodies and nobody knows they even exist.
So I wouldn’t tell women to take your advice. My advice would be don’t make yourself invisible but at the same time don’t cold approach someone you like unless you’re super confident. If there’s a Farax you’re gunning for then show some obvious signs of interest (smiling, talking to him in friend groups, staring, telling your friends about him so they can find background information, texting him for help if your studying together etc if you can find his number) and let the man initiate afterwards, when he’s initiated tell him you’re interested but only looking to get married so give him your fathers phone number and hopefully things take off from there.
You’re advice that if a man wants you he’ll approach isn’t true at all, no decent man wants to approach a women who doesn’t show signs of interest unless he’s desperate and cold approaching every single women in his vicinity. It doesn’t mean the man isn’t confident, it means he knows when he’s wanted or not and understands social norms, so show signs of interest and allow him to approach.
Honestly the easiest times for Somalis to get married imo is their collage years 18-24ish, because of like minded people and the best opportunities to find a good potential mate and their 30s because people lower their standards and have no time for bs and just wanna get married. You’ll be lucky to find someone decent in your workplace in your mid 20+. All the guys/girls who got married in the ages between 25-29 I know met through some social event like in a shisha bar and they tend to be the more social types anyway.
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I am here cadey don't be afraid to shoot your shot at meDesperate revert
mohamedismail
Reewin. Lixda Gobol ee Maayland unii leh!
That is some very good points wallahi. Sisters complain that they are struggling to get married and find a good brother, but at the same time they have too much of an ego to shoot their shot. At the end of the day it's going to be hard to get married if you are practically invisible to the opposite gender.
Baarisiyomoos
buuq iyo balaayo 🫧
I’d rather die alone and childless than even think of proposing to a man 
bisinka
bisinkaWomen who approach first get that held over their heads by their man’sI’d rather die alone and childless than even think of proposing to a man
Baarisiyomoos
buuq iyo balaayo 🫧
literally that man would not let you live it down till the end of time. every time you argue he’ll be sure to remind you that you chased him uff
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Why is that a bad thing?
empressjamila
yktv
Absolutely NOT
Even if you end up getting the guy, this is how you get a man who takes you for granted or doesn’t put much effort with you because he didn’t have to pursue you. People don’t appreciate things that come too easily.
If you want to give a man an opening to shoot his shot, just smile at him and look approachable. That leaves the ball in his court and if he’s interested he’ll come and speak to you, if not he won’t. And this way you are not chasing him.
Even if you end up getting the guy, this is how you get a man who takes you for granted or doesn’t put much effort with you because he didn’t have to pursue you. People don’t appreciate things that come too easily.
If you want to give a man an opening to shoot his shot, just smile at him and look approachable. That leaves the ball in his court and if he’s interested he’ll come and speak to you, if not he won’t. And this way you are not chasing him.
empressjamila
yktv
Yep I’ve talked to my brothers about this topic before and they both said they would be put off if a woman straight up approached them bc they would think she does that with every man, & she is too easy
Abdisamad
VIP
If we approach you we're creepy if we don't we aren't confident enough.. We can't win what ever we do
The human psyche can be reminiscent of their childhood self. If you give a child a toy without having to work for it, they’ll play with it and throw it away without a care in the world. On the flip side, if you tell that same child they’ll have to do chores for four weeks and earn every pound of their pocket money in order for them to buy the toy they really wanted, they’ll cherish it, even if it isn’t as great as the toy they got easily. Unfortunately, that’s how human relationships are like. The common male instinct to chase and to place value on what they worked for and pursued is a trait that has stayed with them well into adulthood.
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