I think it is.
Is this true?
- Thread starter AbrahamFreedom
- Start date
Whats the age of this person?, because times and friendship can change with time
Not sure but I think this only applies after 25 or so. I wouldn't apply this to those younger than that.
Any man with the app downloaded = red flag
stay away ladies
Keep it a boqol
VIP
What app?Any man with the app downloaded = red flag
The alchemist
VIP
Definitely. The ones that shuffle friends like it's a fashion trend, treat people like they're expendable. Rarely do they reflect on how they are the problem. One can say that the way you make friends speaks more to the quality and longevity of the friendship.
Sometimes you can have a momentary good friendship that does not last beyond what was initially circumstantial, giving it a shorter duration. It didn't have to mean anything bad. Sometimes you need to move on. Everyone has those relationships where you were relatively close to someone for a season or two, and once you have to do other things that diverge life paths, trying to keep in contact becomes contrived.
We should hold some reservations since there are people who are good but are odd and can't make friends easily. Maybe they're on the spectrum and can't understand social cues. However, if you're not on the spectrum, don't have severe mental issues, and you did not have some sad past, then, man, you must be a problem. Then it's not others; it's you.
Be wary of people who brag about how they only value themselves and that they would not care if relationships ended. That tells you a lot about how they see the people around them. Though sometimes people say this as a coping mechanism because they pick bad friends and get used, then get tossed to the side. These are usually very good people, maybe too good, though. They would not actually be like that. It's the classic, "I don't care about what people think of me" -- said by the person who does care about what people think but says it to build mental strength and also pride, moreover, feels shame in their weakness, so they engage in bravado to not feel so small. It's easy to separate the former from the latter.
Sometimes you can have a momentary good friendship that does not last beyond what was initially circumstantial, giving it a shorter duration. It didn't have to mean anything bad. Sometimes you need to move on. Everyone has those relationships where you were relatively close to someone for a season or two, and once you have to do other things that diverge life paths, trying to keep in contact becomes contrived.
We should hold some reservations since there are people who are good but are odd and can't make friends easily. Maybe they're on the spectrum and can't understand social cues. However, if you're not on the spectrum, don't have severe mental issues, and you did not have some sad past, then, man, you must be a problem. Then it's not others; it's you.
Be wary of people who brag about how they only value themselves and that they would not care if relationships ended. That tells you a lot about how they see the people around them. Though sometimes people say this as a coping mechanism because they pick bad friends and get used, then get tossed to the side. These are usually very good people, maybe too good, though. They would not actually be like that. It's the classic, "I don't care about what people think of me" -- said by the person who does care about what people think but says it to build mental strength and also pride, moreover, feels shame in their weakness, so they engage in bravado to not feel so small. It's easy to separate the former from the latter.
Keep it a boqol
VIP
PPL who hop to friend group to friend group. Don’t trust them.
Any man with the app downloaded = red flag
I'm taken but the ladies still can't stay away.
I'm taken but the ladies still can't stay away.
Let’s see a pic
Keep it a boqol
VIP
yeah those ppl need to get locked up and their phones checked fr
I patently disagree!
I do not judge people solely based on the quantity or longevity of their friendships. The length of a relationship does not inform us about the nature or quality of interactions, or whether they have depth, mutual satisfaction or flourishing. Someone may remain in your life more out of habit, obligation, or convenience, rather than truly wanting to be there.
There is a difference between someone harmless with a stronger preference for solitude (asocial) and an antisocial person who is harmful and intentionally aggressive, or covertly or overtly hostile. Sometimes, toxic people are nested in strong friendship networks with multiple veils of social protection. There can also be an entourage of flying monkeys that can enable maladaptive behaviour among their inner circles. Communal narcissists may be well-liked with many friends, present themselves as exemplary citizens, and engage in performative generosity and emotional deception (masking their true intentions). Conversely, people with few to no close friends can still be worthwhile human beings with a variety of interests and a rich inner world. These individuals can be offbeat, profound, and offer refreshing insights.
Additionally, friendship formation is influenced by situational, contextual, cultural and structural forces that are often beyond an individual's control. There is a concept in sociology known as homophily, which refers to the tendency of people to prefer those with shared characteristics over those with dissimilar ones. There are barriers imposed by the challenges people face if they are highly mobile (having moved often) and never establish firm roots. Or due to language barriers (limiting them to co-nationals out of necessity). As well as the level of acculturation within a nation. Individuals who are neurodiverse may struggle to forge friendships owing to the lack of consistency and contradictions among neurotypical people. Some establish firm divides based on class, while others do so based on religion. In comparison, others discriminate based on sect or interpretation within the same faith. Some are quite insular and conscious of factors such as neighbourhood, education level, race, generation, ethnicity, or appearance.
That said, friendships are more exclusionary than they are inclusionary, partly based on time, physical, and energy limitations. They are also gated because long-established friendship circles are based on the degree of fit (conformity) and are structured around a hierarchy of closeness, typically determined by the duration of the friendship. Outsiders are often kept out and viewed with suspicion, even if their intentions are well-meaning. If they allow someone new into their circle, others may perceive a threat or worry about being cycled out. They refer to this as the politics of friendship.
Friendship networks often shrink after marriage in favour of kin, though they may expand again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Friendships also require the luxury of leisure time, which is not available to those who are unemployed or overworked, juggling multiple jobs. The pandemic and political divisions further reshaped relationships, with many choosing to distance themselves from those with opposing views. As tolerance for disharmony has decreased, more people now prefer solitude or decide to end unfulfilling friendships altogether. Friendships are always up for renegotiation, especially when effort is uneven.
What matters is authenticity, reciprocity, and freedom from deleterious harm.
I do not judge people solely based on the quantity or longevity of their friendships. The length of a relationship does not inform us about the nature or quality of interactions, or whether they have depth, mutual satisfaction or flourishing. Someone may remain in your life more out of habit, obligation, or convenience, rather than truly wanting to be there.
There is a difference between someone harmless with a stronger preference for solitude (asocial) and an antisocial person who is harmful and intentionally aggressive, or covertly or overtly hostile. Sometimes, toxic people are nested in strong friendship networks with multiple veils of social protection. There can also be an entourage of flying monkeys that can enable maladaptive behaviour among their inner circles. Communal narcissists may be well-liked with many friends, present themselves as exemplary citizens, and engage in performative generosity and emotional deception (masking their true intentions). Conversely, people with few to no close friends can still be worthwhile human beings with a variety of interests and a rich inner world. These individuals can be offbeat, profound, and offer refreshing insights.
Additionally, friendship formation is influenced by situational, contextual, cultural and structural forces that are often beyond an individual's control. There is a concept in sociology known as homophily, which refers to the tendency of people to prefer those with shared characteristics over those with dissimilar ones. There are barriers imposed by the challenges people face if they are highly mobile (having moved often) and never establish firm roots. Or due to language barriers (limiting them to co-nationals out of necessity). As well as the level of acculturation within a nation. Individuals who are neurodiverse may struggle to forge friendships owing to the lack of consistency and contradictions among neurotypical people. Some establish firm divides based on class, while others do so based on religion. In comparison, others discriminate based on sect or interpretation within the same faith. Some are quite insular and conscious of factors such as neighbourhood, education level, race, generation, ethnicity, or appearance.
That said, friendships are more exclusionary than they are inclusionary, partly based on time, physical, and energy limitations. They are also gated because long-established friendship circles are based on the degree of fit (conformity) and are structured around a hierarchy of closeness, typically determined by the duration of the friendship. Outsiders are often kept out and viewed with suspicion, even if their intentions are well-meaning. If they allow someone new into their circle, others may perceive a threat or worry about being cycled out. They refer to this as the politics of friendship.
Friendship networks often shrink after marriage in favour of kin, though they may expand again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Friendships also require the luxury of leisure time, which is not available to those who are unemployed or overworked, juggling multiple jobs. The pandemic and political divisions further reshaped relationships, with many choosing to distance themselves from those with opposing views. As tolerance for disharmony has decreased, more people now prefer solitude or decide to end unfulfilling friendships altogether. Friendships are always up for renegotiation, especially when effort is uneven.
What matters is authenticity, reciprocity, and freedom from deleterious harm.
@AbrahamFreedom
"But he seemed like such a good guy that everyone loved, a family man, a pillar of the community. I didn't expect that."
Neighbours and friends always say this on DATELINE or W5.
Brother, please, you never see their shadow life.
There were bones in the basement.
"But he seemed like such a good guy that everyone loved, a family man, a pillar of the community. I didn't expect that."
Neighbours and friends always say this on DATELINE or W5.Brother, please, you never see their shadow life.
There were bones in the basement.
@Sophisticate. I had to make a rare night time shah to read your posts. I saved it for later. When she posts, you have to carefully read and absorb sophisticate's thoughts.
Married or taken men get the most attention form women it’s a strange but funny thingI'm taken but the ladies still can't stay away.
Thank you, AJ. I rarely write length posts on here. From what I've learned, they prefer short and snappy content rather than essay-style and overly pedantic writing. At least you appreciate my contrarian takes
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