Is the Hypergamy movement a set up to control women?

[Hodan from HR]

I recently started watching hypergamy yt channels out of curiosity and because I'm hearing girls singing about "securing the bag" everywhere.

I get it. It could be a better option than modern feminism. Men are benefitting more, at the expense of women, from this sexual liberation era anyway.


However, some of their message got me feeling uneasy;

1.They mostly advocate for the dainty, soft-spoken, submissive type of femininity. Different women choose to relate to different aspects of womanhood based of their life experiences. Femininity is not a monolith.​

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2. They scare women by talking about "hitting the wall" when we turn 35. The downside to this is, women who are not ready for motherhood rushing into having babies.

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3. They put lots of emphasize on men's money and achievements. The reality is, some men who are good on paper have the trashiest personality and are out of touch with reality. They think money is all it takes to make a woman kiss the ground they walk in.​

Anyway, some of the things they promote got me thinking, are these accounts secretly ran by men? Women are being groomed to speak and act a certain way that benefits men. What if, hypergamy is a sugar-coated way of keeping women in check?

 

[Kanini]

It's hard enough as it is for men to save up a lot of money so I find it weird they'd willingly put themselves in a position to be taken advantage of. However, for the men that do promote this, most likely enjoy having a leverage over the woman. Especially when they like the submissive type, seems like they are easier to push around.

I don't think these channels are run by men. I think it's just gold digging women making these videos in hopes they don't have to really do much work and everything is handed to them. They're probably the same people who want to be taken care of but refuse to be a traditional partner and want to hold onto the 'feminist' ideology.

Nothing is wrong with it unless that is the only thing you are valuing when finding someone.

 

[Samaalic Era]

It's hard enough as it is for men to save up a lot of money so I find it weird they'd willingly put themselves in a position to be taken advantage of. However, for the men that do promote this, most likely enjoy having a leverage over the woman. Especially when they like the submissive type, seems like they are easier to push around.

I don't think these channels are run by men. I think it's just gold digging women making these videos in hopes they don't have to really do much work and everything is handed to them. They're probably the same people who want to be taken care of but refuse to be a traditional partner and want to hold onto the 'feminist' ideology.

Nothing is wrong with it unless that is the only thing you are valuing when finding someone.

Your responses are always so well laid out,non bias and level headed.

Very rare on sspot nowadays

 

[Kanini]

Your responses are always so well laid out,non bias and level headed.

Very rare on sspot nowadays

Thank you walaal. I try.

 

[Hodan from HR]

It's hard enough as it is for men to save up a lot of money so I find it weird they'd willingly put themselves in a position to be taken advantage of. However, for the men that do promote this, most likely enjoy having a leverage over the woman. Especially when they like the submissive type, seems like they are easier to push around.

I don't think these channels are run by men. I think it's just gold digging women making these videos in hopes they don't have to really do much work and everything is handed to them. They're probably the same people who want to be taken care of but refuse to be a traditional partner and want to hold onto the 'feminist' ideology.

Nothing is wrong with it unless that is the only thing you are valuing when finding someone.

You have a point sis.
The reason I am side eyeing the whole movement is, it kinda takes us back to the 1800s. The message, a woman's worth is in finding the right (rich) guy and pop babies with, is not inclusive and empowering to women in general. If a woman has no desire to be married or have children, that doesn't make her a loser.

Also, what you said about some men enjoy having a leverage over the woman. The power imbalance can be a recipe for abuse with the wrong man. And even if the man is kind and nice, people die everyday. How are these women going to provide for their kids in that scenario? You are probably right about them being gold diggers. They sure are in for a rude awakening.

It is hard for me to believe these channels are ran by women for women. And if they are actually owned by women, I guess this is just another lesson of taking things on the internet with a grain of salt.

 

[Kanini]

You have a point sis.
The reason I am side eyeing the whole movement is, it kinda takes us back to the 1800s. The message, a woman's worth is in finding the right (rich) guy and pop babies with, is not inclusive and empowering to women in general. If a woman has no desire to be married or have children, that doesn't make her a loser.

Also, what you said about some men enjoy having a leverage over the woman. The power imbalance can be a recipe for abuse with the wrong man. And even if the man is kind and nice, people die everyday. How are these women going to provide for their kids in that scenario? You are probably right about them being gold diggers. They sure are in for a rude awakening.

It is hard for me to believe these channels are ran by women for women. And if they are actually owned by women, I guess this is just another lesson of taking things on the internet with a grain of salt.

I agree with you. It's always nice for women to have their own independent side money (whether or not they are a housewife/reliant on the husband to make the money). Anything can go wrong at any time and you need to be prepared for change.

 

[Hodan from HR]

I agree with you. It's always nice for women to have their own independent side money (whether or not they are a housewife/reliant on the husband to make the money). Anything can go wrong at any time and you need to be prepared for change.

Walahi, I couldn't have worded it better

It doesn't matter if a woman is earning by flipping burgers at Wendys or works as a neurosurgeon, being able to support yourself, whether a man is in your life or not, is LIBERATION.

I love this quote. It can apply to men/women and other aspects on life, not only financial.

 

[Hodan from HR]

@Kanini Speaking of housewives having their own side income, do you know this youtuber Zeinab Nur?
Sis is goals, mA

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[Kanini]

Walahi, I couldn't have worded it better

It doesn't matter if a woman is earning by flipping burgers at Wendys or works as a neurosurgeon, being able to support yourself, whether a man is in your life or not, is LIBERATION.

I love this quote. It can apply to men/women and other aspects on life, not only financial.
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Your mindset on this is unmatched mashallah, agreed.

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[Hodan from HR]

Your mindset on this is unmatched mashallah, agreed.

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Thanks abayo, you are very kind and humble

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[Sophisticate]

Women who regularly use phrases like "secure the bag" normally come from a scarcity mindset. They likely grew up with very little and early messaging around money revolved around there not being enough of it and were taught to acquire it even through dubious means. They might not believe they are fully capable of amassing wealth on their own and are doing the next best thing (getting it from a man). Why not use the man as a seed investor and make as much or more than him? Or would that leave a vacancy for a man of greater means? Probably not, unless that relationship was a transactional marriage with few commonalities and based exclusively on looks in exchange for lush provisions.