I'm studying and my mum is putting me down

[Xaruun]

She’s a good mother. She made sure to put you down before you started putting yourself down. Now, as others said ITT, you basically have to become a midwife to prove her wrong. She’s encouraging you to succeed.

 

[Villainess]

shes toxic. i remember your previous posts about her. those type of women thrive off of hate. just try your best not to snap at her and tell her to treat you the way Allah swt told a mother to treat her daughter. Tell her that she should not insult her own daughter. Tell her that she should encourage you. I wish you the best

 

[cawaale]

You need a stepdad to defend you, how old is your mum

 

[Amazonian]

She said that I don't have the eyes for education. I'm studying a course which is quite difficult, I'm studying to the best of my ability, and she's not offering me moral support or love.Instead whilst I'm studying,she puts me down. She doesn't do this to my sister and twin brother. I'm convinced she hates me.

Hooyo didnt carry you in her womb for 9 months just so she can hate you. She wants you to prove her wrong. She knows your smart and is only pushing you to get the best out of you.

You think she loves me?

Of course

 

[hobaal]

yous lot need to stop justifying her mums behaviour... shes toxic as hell and is belittling her daughter!.
@Princefan sorry to hear what ur going through , shes projecting her misery onto you. whatever she tells u let it go in one ear and pass through the other . don’t ever believe her lies! you’re brilliant and u’ll succeed with god’s help inshallah.

 

[Nalle]

You think she loves me?

Yes she loves you.

But why is she only mean to you and not to your siblings as well? Don’t your siblings back you up when your mom is being harsh on you?

Also find another place to study at.

 

[Sloane Ranger]

Study at the library or cafes, if open where your at not at home. Most universities have learning centres that can assist you with how to study and can even provide accommodation for those with learning disabilities.

We have a national lockdown in the UK so that's not possible now.

 

[Amirah]

She said that I don't have the eyes for education. I'm studying a course which is quite difficult, I'm studying to the best of my ability, and she's not offering me moral support or love.Instead whilst I'm studying,she puts me down. She doesn't do this to my sister and twin brother. I'm convinced she hates me.

Don’t worry sis, her words are just one ear in one ear out. Ignore her. Some Somali moms are subconsciously jealous of their daughters for having the life they never had. They never studied or had the opportunity to go college, they never could make their own money from young age etc and therefore want to tear you down to make themselves feel better. Imagine their entire life consists of being a mom and a wife, they have no other identity outside that.

Also your mother sounds like a narcissistic hooyo. Mine is too. Just like you when I was in college studying hard science courses while working and giving her $$$ she would tell me to instead study a 6 week course to become a babysitter and quit school because I’m not smart enough for anything. Even if it’s not school, anything you try your hand at she’ll always find a way to discourage you. Even when you try to get married she’ll try to find ways to sabotage it. There’s no cure for this kinda people, you just have ignore them and use them to your advantage to get to where you wanna go in life iA. Stay strong dear, pm me if you need to.

 

[Amazonian]

Don’t worry sis, her words are just one ear in one ear out. Ignore her. Some Somali moms are subconsciously jealous of their daughters for having the life they never had. They never studied or had the opportunity to go college, they never could make their own money from young age etc and therefore want to tear you down to make themselves feel better. Imagine their entire life consists of being a mom and a wife, they have no other identity outside that.

Also your mother sounds like a narcissistic hooyo. Mine is too. Just like you when I was in college studying hard science courses while working and giving her $$$ she would tell me to instead study a 6 week course to become a babysitter and quit school because I’m not smart enough for anything. Even if it’s not school, anything you try your hand at she’ll always find a way to discourage you. Even when you try to get married she’ll try to find ways to sabotage it. There’s no cure for this kinda people, you just have ignore them and use them to your advantage to get to where you wanna go in life iA. Stay strong dear, pm me if you need to.

Naa'heedhe gabadha hooyadeed macaan ha ku dirin. Hooyo waa laga maarmaaan hadalkeeda iyo dhibkeeduba waa laga maarmaaan.
Ka fiirso eryarada qaarkii walal adigoo raali ah

 

[Amirah]

Naa'heedhe gabadha hooyadeed macaan ha ku dirin. Hooyo waa laga maarmaaan hadalkeeda iyo dhibkeeduba waa laga maarmaaan.
Ka fiirso eryarada qaarkii walal adigoo raali ah

Lemme guess you’re a male am I right? If you are kindly iska amuse unless you’ve walked a mile in a Somali girl’s shoes you have nothing to say.

 

[jabsveg276]

She believes you're a very intelligent person and is preparing you for the real world. Somali parents have a weird way of expressing themselves. Shes doing it out of love.

Not an excuse for abuse

 

[Halimo-2018]

She's jealous of you. You probably have more options than she ever did.respect her as your mom till you get your education then move out of her house. I am not saying dont be kind be kind. Abuse is haram no matter who's doing it.

 

[Mercury]

Everyone saying the mom does this out of love than explain why none of her older siblings aren't mistreated?

@Princefan you cant change your mom but you can change how you react to the things she does and says don't give any energy to those comments she makes brush them off what matters the most is what you think listen to your inner voice and it will guide you in the right direction follow your passion and create success for yourself the rest will fall into place

 

[Onyxbrainster]

It's quite sad seeing how some folks are justifying this sort of behaviour. I am sorry you are going through this. I know what this is like very well and it's what I am currently experiencing. I'm an adult, yet treated like a child. I'm even being told that no person would want to marry me now that I am in my 20s. It's some sick behaviour. I'm being honest what you have to do is just push yourself and get that degree. A degree is your ticket out and it will help you find your own place to stay. You are a scapegoat and I am too. What I learned is that a lot of times our parents are projecting their own pain onto us cause of trauma/lack of emotional intelligence. Try to occupy yourself with a hobby or watch a funny video/movie if you have to. Also, join online communities that deal with children of Narcissistic parents. I found so much support there. Good luck!