I'm doing great, thank you

[DubatDiaries]

This has happened enough times to me for it to be a 'thing'. First, with my family members and then some relatives, a man trying to 'talk' to you, a family friend you are visiting. Its the asking "how are you" multiple times in different ways... sometimes four or even five times. Its starts with seetahay? I answer, then ask them the same, ask about their family yada yada yaa depending on the situation. Okay, then again, usually in a different way but the same meaning, so I answer. And what do you know... they ask again!
Is this some sort of conversation filler for Somali? Am I expected to pivot the conversation in a different direction? Is there some non-verbal communication or even cues I'm missing? What is it?

 

[DubatDiaries]

Also, in the theme of Somali communication styles that confuse me (this one pisses me off, slightly) It takes forever and a day for someone to get to the point. They really enjoy going through each part of the story, which is great, the whole expressing yourself through storytelling, but ...time and place. I lack both the attention span and patience for it.

 

[The alchemist]

So... how are you doing?

 

[Bille]

This has happened enough times to me for it to be a 'thing'. First, with my family members and then some relatives, a man trying to 'talk' to you, a family friend you are visiting. Its the asking "how are you" multiple times in different ways... sometimes four or even five times. Its starts with seetahay? I answer, then ask them the same, ask about their family yada yada yaa depending on the situation. Okay, then again, usually in a different way but the same meaning, so I answer. And what do you know... they ask again!
Is this some sort of conversation filler for Somali? Am I expected to pivot the conversation in a different direction? Is there some non-verbal communication or even cues I'm missing? What is it?

Not everyone converse that way, only nervous and awkward people repeat themselves over and over. If I ever notice that the person that I'm talking to is nervous, awkward or even less articulate I usually try to help and steer the conversation. You just don't wanna answer same question over and over again.

 

[cunug3aad]

 

[cunug3aad]

This is the life

 

[Jaale Ugaas]

its awkward when you're just catching up but if you call or speak to someone with an objective in mind skip the pleasantries and get to the topic otherwise ask about family, work, recent events after exchanging pleasantries and follow the conversation to wherever it leads you from there.

 

[mrlog]

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[The alchemist]

Also, in the theme of Somali communication styles that confuse me (this one pisses me off, slightly) It takes forever and a day for someone to get to the point. They really enjoy going through each part of the story, which is great, the whole expressing yourself through storytelling, but ...time and place. I lack both the attention span and patience for it.

The difference in time management is culturally instructive. Instead of viewing it as a flaw, rather see it as a consequence of our historic relational realities.

In the post-industrial Western world, the disposability of time is constrained, which loses socio-cultural nuance. What replaced human connection is institutions and structural processes that manage and compartmentalize a person overtly in a systemic fashion, mediating information through such tractable processes, rather than a social tradition that regulated a person through the eyes of other people's wisdom, learned experience, and news that could only be mediated through hours of communication and patience. With this, you could get updates on world affairs from the other side of the world through a network of people, and receive upgrades on life strategies. That has been replaced by the news and formal education. You see? We've outsourced what was in human connection through specialized production areas. We live in an efficiency-based economic system that rewires and breaks down aspects of relational networks of humans. When you hear the elders speaking, taking their time like ents, know it is a good thing, walaal.

This is extremely important for relational communal regularity. It's one of the cornerstones of why Islam spread fast and was maintained. Why the economic reality in the Somali peninsula was very advanced and flexible from antiquity to the pre-modern Age. Deep caravan systems worked because there were trust-based macro-networks that were built on social trust. A socio-cultural ethos born out of the social codes and constant interactions. This led to the potential of high economic scalability. Things might seem slow in the conversation, but value is not lost.

The more individualistic, task-based people get, the more we are susceptible to becoming atomized. A lot of people are objectively more systematically connected in a globalized fashion in the West but yet feel isolated.

There is a trade-off with having a fast-paced society. When I was in the homeland, it felt like time itself was going much slower, and I could soak up the day more somehow.

 

[DubatDiaries]

So... how are you doing?

Great. How are you?

 

[DubatDiaries]

Not everyone converse that way, only nervous and awkward people repeat themselves over and over. If I ever notice that the person that I'm talking to is nervous, awkward or even less articulate I usually try to help and steer the conversation. You just don't wanna answer same question over and over again.

Not to put my mom on the spot, but she is guilty of this too . She will sometimes call and zone out with her trail of 'how are you(s)'. That is one person I am pretty sure is not nervous and awkward around me.

 

[DubatDiaries]

View attachment 368908

This is it. So it's a thing. I'm officially vindicated

 

[DubatDiaries]

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I'm working on it

 

[DubatDiaries]

There is a trade-off with having a fast-paced society. When I was in the homeland, it felt like time itself was going much slower, and I could soak up the day more somehow.

There has to be a name for it. I stayed in a small village in the Somali region (not sure if it counts as a village) without phone access and I remember feeling like a lived a whole day and it was only 11 am.

 

[Rayaale]

Iska waran walal

 

[The alchemist]

Great. How are you?
View attachment 368932

I'm doing good, alx. Thanks for asking.

How is life, though, really?

 

[The alchemist]

There has to be a name for it. I stayed in a small village in the Somali region (not sure if it counts as a village) without phone access and I remember feeling like a lived a whole day and it was only 11 am.

People from that part of the world squeeze more juice from the minutes.