If you wanna marry a Somali girl

[Mercury]

@Mercury Nice thread etc. However maybe also mention what a wife has to offer, what’s your take on that. Many of your relationship threads has this pattern where you always mention how to treat females and split the dishes and it’s all lovely dovely but me being me is skeptical of overly nice people there has to be more to it than this. Now spill out the beans, we have never heard of your other side of the coin. How should a man be treated by his wifey. Make that your next thread, hopefully it will be different to what other members post on here.

bra förslag !

 

[Bronco]

well youre wife aint a maid shes your partner

If you don't mind me asking, do you have kids?

Her taking care of the household doesn't make her a maid. It makes her a wife.

 

[Manafesto]

@Mercury,Great and informative thread sxb, I am glad you are giving your 2 cents on this, experienced folks like us should help and try our best advising these lost and misguided youngsters so they don't end up as single fathers like us.

 

[Yukon_Niner]

@Mercury,Great and informative thread sxb, I am glad you are giving your 2 cents on this, experienced folks like us should help and try our best advising these lost and misguided youngsters so they don't end up as single fathers like us.

Bro you sounds like a fucking bum. Please don't tell your qashin to kids, I still remember you describing your khat experiences like it was a good thing.

@Mercury is a sensible person.

 

[Manafesto]

Bro you sounds like a fucking bum. Please don't tell your qashin to kids, I still remember you describing your khat experiences like it was a good thing.

@Mercury is a sensible person.

Get off my nuts Gaalyahow.

 

[Yukon_Niner]

Get off my nuts Gaalyahow.

Stop being a bum and befriending weird cali baysteen niggas with AIDS you damn gaal

 

[Calaf]

Playing WWE/wrestling with your wife is a very very good advice. Makes you feel young. Not applicable to everyone. And do let her win once in a while.

Have a talk sometime. Positive, negative. Talk about life, school, education, kids, deen. Something fun for both. Even politics.

Take her out once in a while. Go Somewhere, restaurant or a tourist attraction. Somewhere nice.

PS4/PS5 - Make sure that she doesn't feel lonely, ask her to join you, thrash her after letting her win. Big Brother, Little Sister Relationship, but Halal and with a wife, not your sister.

 

[Mercury]

Playing WWE/wrestling with your wife is a very very good advice. Makes you feel young. Not applicable to everyone. And do let her win once in a while.

Have a talk sometime. Positive, negative. Talk about life, school, education, kids, deen. Something fun for both. Even politics.

Take her out once in a while. Go Somewhere, restaurant or a tourist attraction. Somewhere nice.

PS4/PS5 - Make sure that she doesn't feel lonely, ask her to join you, thrash her after letting her win. Big Brother, Little Sister Relationship, but Halal and with a wife, not your sister.

nice advice btw I like that last one

 

[Sumaaya]

I always feel like good guys like these (the guy who created the topic) are hard to find and they always somehow end up with a qumayo

 

[QueenofKings]

If you don't mind me asking, do you have kids?

Her taking care of the household doesn't make her a maid. It makes her a wife.

I think you’re looking at it from the perspective of that’s her job. Which isn’t true, because you both share a space. It’s about working together, to look after each other. If my husband sees the laundry basket is filling up - he will put the clothes in, if I see it’s done I will hang the clothes to dry. If there’s dishes in the sink he will wash them, if his office is getting messy I’ll tidy it for him. It’s about picking up the slack and working together and showing a bit of naxariis to each other.

Also there will be a times a woman can’t work - like after giving birth, the husband should be able to keep the house in order and not fall apart.

 

[Nak Muay]

- The money you earn you spend on your wife spoil her and take care of the bills if she's working let her spend her money as she wishes when she was in her parents house they where responsible over her now that shes your wife you are and she didnt leave her parents house to split bills

The avg household income is only £30,800 after taxes. It's only up 2.7% when adjusted for inflation, not to mention the drop in home ownership among 24-35yr olds. Saving up for a 5-12% down payment on a £235,000 house is impossible on one person's salary unless you live like a monk. If your families aren't helping out financially, the "Husband works, wife's a stay at home mother" era's dead wallahi.

 

[Abdisamad]

So seeing some of @Manafesto threads I thought Id make one this is all from my perspective


- Nowadays the way haram relationships and zina is normalized it's crazy if you want someone you should take the right steps no hugs or physical contact and always meet them in a public place like a cafe/coffe shop if you have similiar views and marriage expectations you should get your parents involved and get the nikkah done

- Although physical attraction is important it shouldn't be the main reason you go for someone cause good looks fade deen, personality and character is what matters cause that persons mindset is gonna raise your kids not their looks

- The money you earn you spend on your wife spoil her and take care of the bills if she's working let her spend her money as she wishes when she was in her parents house they where responsible over her now that shes your wife you are and she didnt leave her parents house to split bills


- You should know how to cook and clean cause when you're married living under the same roof its not your wifes role or job to look and take care of the house on her own cause you live there aswell which means its a shared responsibility between you two to look after each other

-when you have kids its gonna send them a message about how to treat their spouse and behave as a husband and they will see love in many ways you gonna be raising emotionally secure kids who gonna view you and your wifey as a source of comfort

Last thing id like to say is its important to have a job but the same effort and time you spend on your wife you should spend the same effort on your wife and kids because they deserve it

Your wife deserves to feel loved and appreciated dont underestimate your importance and value to your family you are your wifes teammate and your childrens hero dont throw that away for hobbies,work or because you're tired be the man they need you to be

The money you earn you spend on your wife spoil her and take care of the bills if she's working let her spend her money as she wishes

 

[Nak Muay]

Islamically they have every right to keep and spend their money how they see fit, but would you even want to build a life with someone that fucking petty lol

 

[Abdisamad]

Islamically they have every right to keep and spend their money how they see fit, but would you even want to build a life with someone that fucking petty lol

Yeah islamically I have the right to have 4 xalimos. You think they would agree to that

 

[Bronco]

I think you’re looking at it from the perspective of that’s her job. Which isn’t true, because you both share a space. It’s about working together, to look after each other. If my husband sees the laundry basket is filling up - he will put the clothes in, if I see it’s done I will hang the clothes to dry. If there’s dishes in the sink he will wash them, if his office is getting messy I’ll tidy it for him. It’s about picking up the slack and working together and showing a bit of naxariis to each other.

Also there will be a times a woman can’t work - like after giving birth, the husband should be able to keep the house in order and not fall apart.

Barring extreme scenarios like sickness, pregnancy or anything that would even remotely impair her day-to-day activities, I disagree. Depending on the arrangement and to some extent cleaning aside, it IS her job. People can do what they want and arrange their marriage how they want, but odds are a lopsided arrangement will break the marriage sooner or later.

 

[The Somali Caesar]

I stopped reading after the title “if you wanna marry a Somali girl”

 

[Angelina]

Barring extreme scenarios like sickness, pregnancy or anything that would even remotely impair her day-to-day activities, I disagree. Depending on the arrangement and to some extent cleaning aside, it IS her job. People can do what they want and arrange their marriage how they want, but odds are a lopsided arrangement will break the marriage sooner or later.

If that is the case, why do men in this day and age not see providing as wholly their job? I don't think its fair for women to be told cleaning is their job when in the average household women are helping financially.

When you look at the state of marriages these days, it seems men get a much better deal. You get a woman that pays for stuff, but also does most if not most of the household cooking, cleaning, birthing kids and child rearing.

 

[Mozart]

So seeing some of @Manafesto threads I thought Id make one this is all from my perspective-

You should know how to cook and clean cause when you're married living under the same roof its not your wifes role or job to look and take care of the house on her own cause you live there aswell which means its a shared responsibility between you two to look after each other

-when you have kids its gonna send them a message about how to treat their spouse and behave as a husband and they will see love in many ways you gonna be raising emotionally secure kids who gonna view you and your wifey as a source of comfort

Last thing id like to say is its important to have a job but the same effort and time you spend on your wife you should spend the same effort on your wife and kids because they deserve it

Your wife deserves to feel loved and appreciated dont underestimate your importance and value to your family you are your wifes teammate and your childrens hero dont throw that away for hobbies,work or because you're tired be the man they need you to be

Will she also pay rent/mortgage payments ?

 

[Hali]

If that is the case, why do men in this day and age not see providing as wholly their job? I don't think its fair for women to be told cleaning is their job when in the average household women are helping financially.

When you look at the state of marriages these days, it seems men get a much better deal. You get a woman that pays for stuff, but also does most if not most of the household cooking, cleaning, birthing kids and child rearing.

But in the Deen that’s not your job
Regardless that’s his responsibility
And if he’s not willing to do that
You shouldn’t be marrying him

 

[Angelina]

But in the Deen that’s not your job
Regardless that’s his responsibility
And if he’s not willing to do that

That is how it should be. But because of high cost of living and salaries not matching this, many men will struggle to provide fully by themselves. Yes, this also includes professional men who have good jobs. It really isn't a straight forward as 'you shouldn't be marrying him'.